SUPA Round 1: Rhythm Run (Love is an Old, Gold Frame) (894 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: supa
Rating: 1.91 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-04-10 23:52:40 EDT
She moved as God's breath upon the waters
When she flew across the floor to four-four
Beat or strings in falling form, the dying
Falls of a lone violin or the boom
Of thunder from some drug-spun trance but I,
I am nothing of the sort, my grace rests
Not in my variations but the calm
Moments spent in studio corners with
A song, a drink and a dream. When she came
To me she was broken and alone, and
When she left she was broken still though
I have seen to it that she alone will
Never be again, a whirlwind of legs
That cut every bit of night they scissored
And long, raven hair was all I witnessed
When she stormed into my life and poured her
Soul into me, and though my all, my best
I gave and more, and though we made a pair,
A couple most unsettled settled down,
We were truly never paired, just as wind
Slows as it runs through a glacial mass
Never truly freezes in the air there
Was never day nor hour when she was still,
Frenzy, chaos, a ticking clock with lips
She stood, sat, stood, bent, came, went, left again,
And I was none the wiser of her hours
Though that resolved itself, of course, in time,
As I burned daylight with my canvasses
And clay, capturing in a calm moment
An instant most beautiful and serene,
Thinking myself a love-bound, lucky fool
To possess a living muse. I was wrong.
She found another song to move her hips
And other lyrics fell into her lips,
Her free and itinerant hips given
To me but for a while though I figured
For good, but oh, I stopped the running beat
And by my just hand all the music died;
I remember little yet feel it all
As a song, a drink, a dream, the only
Clear recollection the sound the shovel
Made when I kicked it through her open mouth
To draw last blood and dig the earth a new wound
To match my solitary heartbound scar,
Dismembered, bagged and buried she sits still
There beyond the mountains and old dance floors
As here I hope to set things right with the
Only thing I've ever known how to do:
God paints in death, and therefore so shall I
Strike this blood, this still, irresolute blood,
And splatter these teeth ground to heavy dust
And mixed with spit for consistency down
Upon the wide, immaculate stretch of
The canvas to preserve my one true love,
That she may remain still; and I will set,
With love, the final workings of her mind,
Those stillborn memories of the music
Of her childhood, the hammer, and of me
Upon the thick-run wine and whalebone with
Which my hands have become imperfect,
Will set that little bauble of her brain
In fragments within the old, golden frame
That she may find a peace and remain still,
My love, my true; and my fingers will crush
Her two perfect hazel eyes, roving and
Brilliant by afternoon light or on fire
Upon meeting the gaze of another,
And reduce them to color and jelly,
Cold, controllable, useful to the touch,
Until from bruised and aching palms a streak
Of thin liquid dribbles among the pink
And bloody mess of my design, my love,
My one true still, that she may sit
Upon my wall from dusk to morning light,
Beside the brunettes and the bottle blondes
That came before her, so at my leisure
I might look upon her remastered face
And remember fondly that, once, I loved.
.JPG)
User Reviews
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ticking clock with lips
Submitted by MouthSore (user info) at 2007-04-15 00:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-12 08:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It didn't rhyme enough for me.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm such a comp nerd.
This is hub http://www.ubersite.com/m/100418
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not a fight, just me whining before I go to sleep. No beddie-bye make drakey go wahhhhh.
Im confused as to what hub is.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fact that you need to deflect the attention away from a perfectly civilized comment by calling me bitchy, whiny, or a suck up speaks volumes to me. I don't think that a few simple comments in the interest of fairness should be considered cocksucking. But whatever amuses you, it's why we're all here.
I'm not going to comment further here, if you want to continue this nerdfight, I'll see you on hub. But don't get too excited, I'll be going to sleep soon.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The locks to all the doors of the asylum clearly come undone when this competition comes around.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So voting is over in what, half an hour now?
I miss all the good shit around here. I had to drive to pittsburgh today and I missed a bunch of drama it seems. TTOM conceded? Alters are -2ing the fuck out of people. WOW! Such madness.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA. Thanks, O.
and Lish, that's awesome the amount of bitchiness being shown.
I'm honestly blown away. The mention of my +0 followed by a plus 2 is making me feel all "bad" now im sure.
There are many miles separating your mouth from orgasmatrons dick, so you can stop trying to suck it.
And I'm sober.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had TWO WHOLE DRINKS and I'm feelin' surly, motherfuckers.
---
Nips from thimbles don't count as "whole drinks," you realize.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no shot from the beginning, Unless I wanted to sign a bunch of alters and -2 the fuck out of this, but I have some semblance of fairness, so I figured getting my name out there would have been the easiest and fairest way to earn some (cheap) +2s is all.
---
You realize this makes you a better (and taller) man than Shlongy, right?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had TWO WHOLE DRINKS and I'm feelin' surly, motherfuckers.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whiny? I think it's a reasonable and honest statement.
I'll fucking show you bitchy.
Nice lowering of your opponent's piece, too, Drake.
Bitchy would have been purposefully lowering the rating on your entry, which I didn't.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My bad, O-man.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no shot from the beginning, Unless I wanted to sign a bunch of alters and -2 the fuck out of this, but I have some semblance of fairness, so I figured getting my name out there would have been the easiest and fairest way to earn some (cheap) +2s is all.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok not really. But my rating just dropped because of the response, so now imma keel you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty bitchy, Litchy.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Only a little. Whiny I think would be a more appropriate word. Bitchy is too strong.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"And about campaigning, I was referring to The_Drake, who has made no secret about it. Sorry, Drake, but O can't say it, or else he'll look like the bad guy, and I thought it was worth a mention. That doesn't mean anyone thinks you have bad intentions, or that anyone is going to lose any sleep over it."
You think THAT was bitchy?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-11 22:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It seems I have matched my meet.
Good show. It was fun campaigning against you though. I may participate in more contests now. I rather enjoyed this. Early Congrats are in order I think.
Even if lishy did get a little bitchy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-11 21:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Superb. As I expected it would be.
I imagine I may not win this thing in the end if this is what I may eventually run up against.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you said you lost your muse, I didn't think you meant that you killed her.
ALSO, you must've found a new one.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you said you lost your muse, I didn't think you meant that you killed her.
ALSO, you must've found a new one.
1.8/1.9, but I don't ht
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The way Shlongy and TTOM are fighting, I'm not entirely excited at the realization that I am going to be facing the loser next round, as I am bracketed to face the highest ranked loser. I have no idea what you should do about that if anything, I'm just bitching.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure you will, Oh Kapitano.
I'm sure you will.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't rated anyone's yet, Shlongo.
Don't worry, though. I'll save yours for last.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you don't vote for me by the deadline I will be forced to -2 this into a The Drake victory.
You'd probably end up killing yourself if that happened and that's a mess NO ONE wants to clean up.
So think about it.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do some Walt Whitman for me next time
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One chunk, eh
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-11 09:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An incredibly difficult read with the minimalistic punctuation, but on the third read through my gut feeling is that adding periods, semicolons, or linebreaks would just detract from the fluidity of the poem. Nice job, Lloydgasm.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-11 09:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the picture made this a +2 for me. dunno why.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-11 09:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-11 03:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a good job I may be losing to Shlongy in round 2, because I'd hate to get to the final and lose against something so good
Don't fret it. I'll KILL him if I make it that far.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-11 09:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahem...
I said, AHEM.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-11 08:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-11 08:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THAT'S poetry!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 07:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-04-11 01:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course, the heavy enjambment of it meant that when I read it aloud to myself I did it in one breath and passed out and hit my head and now I'm bleeding a little from one ear but, nonetheless, rockin'.
---
So you've discovered my plan, then. Excellent.
Nice to know that some people read these things out loud.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-11 07:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show, hermaphrodite.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-11 04:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah pretty damn good
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-11 03:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a good job I may be losing to Shlongy in round 2, because I'd hate to get to the final and lose against something so good
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-11 02:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-11 01:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fucking moley.
THAT is a poem.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-04-11 01:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rockin'.
Of course, the heavy enjambment of it meant that when I read it aloud to myself I did it in one breath and passed out and hit my head and now I'm bleeding a little from one ear but, nonetheless, rockin'.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dance.With.The.Devil. (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the winner of this contest will probably have notable strengths in the following areas;
sucking dick
blowing dick
licking dick
guzzling cum
chewing cum
swallowing jizz
eating shit
sitting on dick
virgin certification
=========
All that and still a virgin? Now THAT'S purity.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dance.With.The.Devil. (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the winner of this contest will probably have notable strengths in the following areas;
sucking dick
blowing dick
licking dick
guzzling cum
chewing cum
swallowing jizz
eating shit
sitting on dick
virgin certification
=========
All that and still a virgin? Now THAT'S purity.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read along and thought oh look, a woman is going to die, and then-
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
The grisly repercussions of adultery have reached a new level.
I'm with Stag on the "kicked it through" line- that made me cringe.
This is excellent.
Submitted by Dance.With.The.Devil. (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the winner of this contest will probably have notable strengths in the following areas;
sucking dick
blowing dick
licking dick
guzzling cum
chewing cum
swallowing jizz
eating shit
sitting on dick
virgin certification
acne
being comprised of more than 67% dork
enjoys hobbies such as "skipping rocks" and "eating fruit"
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5
Very nice work.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-10 23:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very, very good. The "kicked it through" bit made me wince (the way it was supposed to, I mean).
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-10 23:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alo 8 minutes to spare. Coleslaw your alter?