SUPA ROUND TWO: A Cluster Of Haiku (383 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.38 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NoMeD (View user info) at 2007-04-17 12:15:21 EDT
Massive gorilla,
Eating everyones faces.
Anger shrouds the mind.
Zookeeper Jack Jones,
Stabbing massive gorilla.
Blood seeps to ground.
Masses disturbed sight,
watching deaths dance today.
Man fights beast with fury.
Animal subdued,
zoo delight restored for now.
Jack Jones manly man.
Walking after work.
Outside Jack gets inside car.
Car explodes, the end.
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I was wearing a microphone, because a .wav file of my reaction while reading this would have been priceless.
The first haiku is just brilliant. The story is funny, but I don't think the following pieces ever quite match the complete awesomeness of the first.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed some.
Mostly at the manly man.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...But goddamnit, I laughed.
The first one alone is gold, and there are some other great lines here.
1.5.
*ASPLODE*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At first glance, I thought I was going to hate this...
Submitted by Mr_Burns (user info) at 2007-04-18 11:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad.... not excellent.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-18 05:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good, but even I noticed the errors.
Aw, fuck it. Who cares.
I liked it, so +2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-18 01:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-17 21:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-17 20:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm assuming you were going for the 5-7-5 Haiku, but this fell short a few times.
Massive gorilla,
Eating everyones faces.
Anger shrouds the mind.
Zookeeper Jack Jones,
Stabbing massive gorilla.
Blood seeps to ground. FUCKUP (4)
Masses disturbed sight,
watching deaths dance today. FUCKUP (6)
Man fights beast with fury. FUCKUP (6)
Animal subdued,
zoo delight restored for now.
Jack Jones manly man.
Walking after work.
Outside Jack gets inside car.
Car explodes, the end.
Regardless, it's a +1.5...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-17 20:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Jack Jones manly man."
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-04-17 16:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Big ruby red lips
Wrapped around my throbbing knob
Thanks a lot, Bozo!
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for pointing it out either way.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So a 1.75 it shall be from me.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, check that. I *really* liked this and I didn't mean to come across as overly picky.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Missing a syllable in the second haiku. Other than that, it was humorous and enjoyable for me, so a 1.5.
^^^
BLoody fucking hell!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 1.5
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bullshit
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Missing a syllable in the second haiku. Other than that, it was humorous and enjoyable for me, so a 1.5.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 apollo camwhore
hhahahah
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a little funny ha-ha + a little funny strange = worth reading
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 apollo camwhore
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ASPLODED
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had no idea how to end it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can't go wrong with haiku.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreement on the poor ending but still, the first haiku ALONE was a +2
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed heartily at this.
"Jack Jones manly man"
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Adorable gorila.
Interesting until the end. At which point it turned into something....not great.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCKING BMP, I didnt catch it in, time.