SUPA R#2: A House, a History (693 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: poetry
Rating: 1.66 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (View user info) at 2007-04-17 13:28:46 EDT
The dry crunch of tires on gravel:
The sound of anticipation.
My heart is thumping rapid beats
In rhythm with the turn signal.
Three thousand miles away from home
I seek a home away from home
A tiny cottage made of stone-
The old house of my grandfather.
He sailed from Éire six decades past
But brother John, just laid to rest,
Has left a lush and nettled yard,
A crooked gate, a bolted door.
The aging archway is adorned
With bits of stone and shards of glass
Beauty in broken bright blue tile
And I climb in through the window.
The rush of water through metal
Slices through the still and silent
My worn boots meet a flooded floor,
And my eyes turn toward history.
A copper kettle for the tea,
The hearth for nightly gatherings,
The table where my kin broke bread,
These plain things whisper tales to me.
A weathered, dusty bottle marked
"A Rare Old Amontillado"
And moldy, tattered poetry
I'll bring back to America.
This is my family legacy
My mother gone, has never seen
And as I stand entranced in time
I know she's in the room with me.
I am humbled in the presence
Of the ghosts who pass before me
And overwhelmed with gratitude
For meeting with them, finally.
And so I walk down the stone path
Off toward the Mass Rock and the grave
(Both are etched with my family name)
I fall to my knees in the moss.
My rescued relics, I hold close
And though I'm long since lost to faith
I say a silent, solemn prayer
In case there's someone listening.
Then as I'm reeling through the field
Of emerald green and flora fair
I breathe in deep, this Old Country-
And smile for them, for us, for me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-19 13:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ALTERS- START YOUR ENGINES!!!
...
kthxbye
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-19 13:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It didn't rhyme enough for me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Beauty in broken bright blue tile"
Now this is my kind of line. And yet if it was "bright blue broken tile," not so much. Odd.
"These plain things whisper tales to me."
The plain things often do. What does something intricate and flashy have to say? It speaks its worth on its surface and nothing more. I'd rather an old house to a Fabrege egg any day.
"A weathered, dusty bottle marked
'A Rare Old Amontillado'"
Cheaty namedropping above.
"And moldy, tattered poetry"
You say this like it's a bad thing.
"I say a silent, solemn prayer
In case there's someone listening."
Continued cheatery. He's watching, you know. And listening. No "just in case" necessary.
I didn't think I'd like this because of its simplicity. But after reading it twice that's where its beauty rests. It's not simple, it's real. And to someone who's never written a genuine word in his life, real is something to be embraced.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-18 19:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beaut - E.
Very nice poemizing young lady.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And because everyone should know what I think about your flow....
I really don't know a thing about poetry, but I like this. It paints a picture, and I didn't feel distracted trying to force the words to flow in my head.
They flowed on their own.
Nice flow.
or something
Good to see you, too Lish.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-18 09:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-18 05:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice...
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-18 01:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-17 21:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, shit. I meant to -2 your young ass, but that's life, that's what all the people say, writin shit in April, gettin slapped in May, but I know I'm gonna changge their tune, when I blow up the site in June...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-17 21:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You call this steaming pile poetry? Right. :)
"My worn boots meet a flooded floor,
And my eyes turn toward history."
An awesome line, me Lass. :D
Remember the time you almost called me a little girl for using emoticons?
Yeah, well,fuck you!! :) :(
:-/
:-\
:D
:P
:O
And so forth.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-17 16:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is my family legacy
My mother gone, has never seen
And as I stand entranced in time
I know she's in the room with me. "
This tied it all together for me. Both content and placement.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-17 14:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Three thousand miles away from home
I seek a home away from home"
------------------
Didn't particularly care for that little segment of the poem, but the rest was ace so I'll leave it at a +2 for now.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than I'd do.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The rush of water through metal
Slices through the still and silent
I really liked this part.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seeing as how I am a Mick bastard, I have to +2 this
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-17 13:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry- I forgot to capitalize SUPA and that bugged me.
SUPA http://www.ubersite.com/m/100635