How to Properly Leave Uber. (2082 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.43 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vitamin D(rake) (View user info) at 2007-04-26 12:28:47 EDT
Step 1: GET REALLY PISSED:
Are people constantly -2ing your posts? Is everything you say taken the "wrong way"? Do you feel as though your obvious genius is being overshadowed by other people's ignorance? I thought so. Nevermind the fact that you have posted 3 times today, and all of them were about your grandmother's un-natural smelling bowel movements. Your work was GENIUS and just because some other miscreants can't understand it, that doesn't make it YOUR fault. Those fucking assholes are stupid anyway. Someday your work will be appreciated. God damn the WORLD!!
Step 2: Start -2ing all the posts with "witty" commentary:
"(username) is such a faggot that he blows.....guys. ROFLOLZ!!!!111ONE"
"-2DIE YOU COCKSUCKER!"
"If I ever find you I'll fucking kill you, motherfucker. I have teh google mapz, and will pwn the shit out of you, doawg."
"I can post as many messages as I want, fag. Just try to stop me"
These choice phrases are essential to making a "big statement" and letting everyone know you are no ass-clown. You are someone to be FEARED and RESPECTED. God dammit, you are an artist. And you're actually "cool" in real life. Why can't these assholes appreciate you?
Because you haven't reached step 3 yet....
Step 3: One last attempt to write something epic:
Time to show these fuckers who is in charge. What better to write about than your life? Yeah that's right. Let's tell them about that "profound" discovery you made when you were nine about why you aren't supposed to pull your pecker in public anymore. That's sure to make B@W, I mean, why WOULDN'T people want to read about that?
Step 4: Tell everyone to fuck off:
Goodbye, Uber
Submitted by: WHINY eMO Fag: (-2 on 30 Reviews)
"liek , goodbyes uber faggot cliques. Im tired of yoos guys always bringing me down. JonnyX is a superfag and and I think shlongy is the king of the miget faggots. I'm gonna go somewehre's else and make my mark on a site where they understand me. I hope you all know what a bunch of real faggots you are. have fun with your Jack McJagoff stories., cause I won't be readin them anymores. now -2 me to death you fags cause im gone and I wont read the reviews."
Step 5: Visit back frequently to remind everyone how much we miss you:
Just in case we forgot who you were (which we did), try to come back every once in a while and drop a -2. We get really steamed about that and then we realize how big of a crowd of idiots we all were for shunning you into exile. It makes us feel sorry for you. Plus, it helps us see things from your point of view. Especially the -2 (no comment)s. Those are HILARIOUS.
Step 6: DIE:
self-explanatory
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bauahahahahahaha
You think that was "proper"?
I'm afraid he just packed his car with guns and ammo and is making a cross country drive right now.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117061
--
read the reviews.
that is how to properly leave ubersite.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
nice
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DOES THIS WORK???
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-06-04 09:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SOUP'S ON, BITCHES
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
az de french say;
tres bonne
which means; thot was fookin mahvelous, doit agin
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-06-09 04:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-27 04:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-04-26 23:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-26 23:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dirty Humour?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 23:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhhh...the shlongy I missed. Thanks for dropping by.
Submitted by deelo (user info) at 2007-04-26 20:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. And number 5, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I did "number 6" today.
Thanks for the reminder.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehehehehehehe
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-26 18:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever find you I'll fucking kill you, motherfucker. I have teh google mapz, and will pwn the shit out of you, doawg.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-04-26 18:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zimm0r is gone? Damnit, can someone tell me who that alter really was? I seem to have missed that.
Submitted by vyktoriah (user info) at 2007-04-26 17:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Drake, I didn't realize it was you, The_Drake at first. Well... no fight here, I am usually a fan of your stuff.
_________________
...that is until you piss him off. Then the quality of your post doesn't matter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
hehehehe
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Drake, I didn't realize it was you, The_Drake at first. Well... no fight here, I am usually a fan of your stuff.
_________________
...that is until you piss him off. Then the quality of your post doesn't matter.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 10:01:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will place this on the Required Reading List...xcellently done.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the name drop, wasn' it?
oh...and thank you.
----
actually no, it wasn't - this was pretty good.
BOB is right about the 'don't post about Uber' thing though, I used to get slammed for doing stuff like this.
=======
Yeah. Noted. This will be my last. Until I decide to leave uber someday. Then i'll -2 bomb everything and whine incessantly. deal?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I'm whiney, truth be told, Earthy, so no hard feelings.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Drake, I didn't realize it was you, The_Drake at first. Well... no fight here, I am usually a fan of your stuff.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 10:01:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will place this on the Required Reading List...xcellently done.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the name drop, wasn' it?
oh...and thank you.
----
actually no, it wasn't - this was pretty good.
BOB is right about the 'don't post about Uber' thing though, I used to get slammed for doing stuff like this.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
here's how to PROPERLY leave uber:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/insanethemind
-----
you are an asshole
but it's true
-------
i'm not sure I get it
-------
insanethemind is dead
--------
....wait for it.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
that apollo is my new (anti)HERO.
What a dick.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
here's how to PROPERLY leave uber:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/insanethemind
-----
you are an asshole
but it's true
-------
i'm not sure I get it
-------
insanethemind is dead
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand there are asshole on this site - mostly kids and people releasing frustrations - and <b>I usually never get upset, but he went over the line on that one particular post that I had done, and it triggered me to counter-attack.</b>
So, there you go.
........................
BWAAAAHAHAHALOLMAOHAPMSLHAAAROFLZHAA
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First off, the only reason I -2bombed him was because he has always been an unprovoked asshole to me. He was annoying, and ultimately a cunt. I had never outwardly attacked him before he instigated the whole thing by being a constant asshole on my posts, to which was more than unwarranted.
I understand there are asshole on this site - mostly kids and people releasing frustrations - and I usually never get upset, but he went over the line on that one particular post that I had done, and it triggered me to counter-attack.
So, there you go.
-----------
You put that much importance on what a guy named 'shlongy' says in some backwater web forum?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Been done.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
here's how to PROPERLY leave uber:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/insanethemind
-----
you are an asshole
but it's true
-------
i'm not sure I get it
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First off, the only reason I -2bombed him was because he has always been an unprovoked asshole to me. He was annoying, and ultimately a cunt. I had never outwardly attacked him before he instigated the whole thing by being a constant asshole on my posts, to which was more than unwarranted.
I understand there are asshole on this site - mostly kids and people releasing frustrations - and I usually never get upset, but he went over the line on that one particular post that I had done, and it triggered me to counter-attack.
So, there you go.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
here's how to PROPERLY leave uber:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/insanethemind
-----
you are an asshole
but it's true
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Coming from someone who's only been on this site for less than four months - or is an alter.
==========
Coming from someone who is already following my procedure.
I have been here long enough to know what a whiny shit you are. When you -2bombed a handful of shlongys posts just cause he -2d you.
Seriously though....not an alter.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Coming from someone who's only been on this site for less than four months - or is an alter.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yawn
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LustrousShe-Wolf (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yay. I'll be using this in a few months, methinks.
----------
Feel free.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LustrousShe-Wolf (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yay. I'll be using this in a few months, methinks.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds about right
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the "Post Change For User #NNNNN" step.
=======
one can never be perfect, thorny. But upon further inspection of this post, I realize I could have included a few more steps, eh.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
here's how to PROPERLY leave uber:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/insanethemind
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fairly good post that doesn't apply to me. I come and go as I please, but I just need to get caught up on work.
Enjoy the first and only S.I. Co. Semen comment to come in a week, bucko. You won't see another one for a while...until I win SUPA.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the "Post Change For User #NNNNN" step.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot to mention creating an alter to fight for the cause of the persecuted turd
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You broke rule #1:
Never post about Uber, on Uber.
In the olden days, like waaay back in 2004, this would have received a barrage of -2's.
=========
*hangs head in shame*
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You broke rule #1:
Never post about Uber, on Uber.
In the olden days, like waaay back in 2004, this would have received a barrage of -2's.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man password posting. Good call.
Don't forget making a bet with someone that you'll leave if they do/prove somethingorother and then welching when they make with the evidence.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will place this on the Required Reading List...xcellently done.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the name drop, wasn' it?
oh...and thank you.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 13:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I stand corrected, O.
I forgot to include the step where you post your username and password as well.
I AM teh suxxorz!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will place this on the Required Reading List...xcellently done.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be 22 steps long, with steps 6-21 being "return to Ubersite for an extended period and act like nothing ever happened and/or anyone who calls you out is a douche for taking you seriously" and "Leave Ubersite again" alternating back and forth, over and again, until you finally reach the last step "DIE."
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmmmm accuracy
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this made me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO COMMENT MOTHER FUCKER
========
You idiot, you spelled everything correctly.
some people....
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO COMMENT MOTHER FUCKER
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine. I'll stay.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Step 3: One last attempt to write something epic:
Time to show these fuckers who is in charge. What better to write about than your life? Yeah that's right. Let's tell them about that "profound" discovery you made when you were nine about why you aren't supposed to pull your pecker in public anymore. That's sure to make B@W, I mean, why WOULDN'T people want to read about that?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
c'mon berg, who's gonna draw.....stuff if you leave?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I QUIT!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ATTN: Snag.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me alot of that MEGACITO dude. And Desolate Misanthrope. God I miss those guys...
=======
sadly...so do I.
the uh...what's his name....Zimm0r. He was a funny one too.
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me alot of that MEGACITO dude. And Desolate Misanthrope. God I miss those guys...
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
richard,
that shlongy comment COMPLETELY inspired that whole paragraph.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody add this to the uber handbook.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Then I said, "What??"
Then I laughed again.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
========
hahahahahah.
I totally see things from your point of view now.
Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-25 17:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I unretired, temporarily, to tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
-----
Case and point.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks, lish. I liked that one too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have teh google mapz