SUPA: Whispers (549 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.53 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by goferforhire <goferforhire.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-04-28 16:52:09 EDT
Charles Bukowski
used to write about sex a lot,
which makes good sense.
We writers tend to write
what we know, after all,
and as I
sit in this nice girl's room
alone, drooling
in front of eight dollars
worth of blank paper,
as Pat Benatar
sings 'Love is a Battlefield'
for what must be the zillionth
time of her career,
as I curse and remember
for what must be the zillionth
time that Kurt Vonnegut
is actually dead, so it goes,
he's not kidding and I
bite my nails down
to the skin
and curse the blood
and whisper
"I'm going to Paris
I'm leaving the country
I'm going going gone"
I realize that what I know
is fear like a whimper
at the end of the world,
like a coyote howling
at an absent moon,
fear like starving
in the blue shadowlessness
of a twelve story apartment
where the windows don't close
and the blinds don't close
and I waste my nights
amidst the gunfire
of my own voice screaming
and falling,
finally,
asleep with my eyes
facing the light
so if everything ends
I will wake from
my endless dreams
to watch it all collapse
and join in the death-cry
until that, too, becomes uninteresting
and I close my eyes
and I smile
and I go back to
sleep.
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-05-02 23:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-01 17:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better than your opponent's but not by too, too much
Submitted by Mr_Burns (user info) at 2007-05-02 11:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-05-01 21:20:14 CDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not trying to be rude, but if you rewrite this in prose form, it ain't poetry. Not at all.....
:-/
--------------
He has a good point, although 'worth reading' would be a fairer assessment
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-05-01 23:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dig it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-05-01 22:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not trying to be rude, but if you rewrite this in prose form, it ain't poetry. Not at all.....
:-/
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-01 21:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's really good. Fear=futility?
and as I
sit in this nice girl's room
alone
Read past it the first time, changed my whole perspective on the reread.
Ace.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-01 17:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better than your opponents
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-05-01 14:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-04-30 14:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Terribly sorry to break the streak.
I know you used a lot of phrasing that wasn't particularly yours (or at least, you wrote with someone else's words as inspiration), on purpose, but I didn't like it because of that.
It struck me as "you could've done better".
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-30 09:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A WINNAR IS YOU
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-29 21:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good good.
I don't even care if Zebra's story is true or not, it's awesome.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-29 15:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah zeb's review is good
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-29 13:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man you're good.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-28 18:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great poem.
Even better comment from Zebra.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-28 18:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-28 18:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking ace story, man
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-28 18:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Charles Bukowski bought me a Penthouse when I was 11.
Some friends and I were stopping guys outside a 7-11, but they all laughed at us or ignored us.
Then this old guy walks up and sticks his hand out. At first I thought he was homeless, but then I realized he had heard me ask some college guy a moment before.
I gave him the ten dollar bill and he went in the store.
My friends got pissed cause they thought he would use it to buy beer or tell us to fuck off or something.
We waited at the side of the store, all nervous like it was a bank heist or something.
When he finally came out, he handed me a bag with a Penthouse and walked up the street.
It's a long story, but it wasn't until ten years later that I realized who provided my first beaver shots.
My dad was squeaky clean and long dead by then, anyway, so I guess you could say Charles Bukowski taught me about the birds and the bees without ever saying a word.
He also kept the change.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-28 16:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lately i've dug poems that reference writers/writing