"The Night was Young." (1590 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.78 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2007-06-06 02:40:59 EDT
Three years.
That's how long he had been watching her, waiting for this moment.
Three long years.
She looked so pretty lying there on the table. Chestnut brown hair spread out around her angelic creamy white face. He couldn't help but shiver at the awe that was her beauty. The black duct tape that was covering her mouth created a sharp contrast to this beauty and he couldn't help but smile as his eyes followed the edge of the tape, stopping at the corner just below her left ear. He stood there for quite awhile, twenty minutes perhaps, staring at that area. "It would be extremely supple there," he thought. It took all his will to finally look away.
He cinched the straps tightly around both of her wrists and followed them down to the table legs to make sure that they would hold her taut. He did the same thing with her ankles and then moved to her waist. The leather of the straps felt good in his hands. He remembered thinking that those straps were his tool as an oar is to the rower, a baseball to the pitcher, a rifle to the marksman. Tools of the trade, so to speak, used as a means to an end. He adjusted the strap around her waist and cinched it tight.
This was his end and beginning.
Once the straps were secured tightly he adjusted the mask to his face. Then he reached out with both hands and laid his palms across her belly. He could feel her shallow breathing as his palms gently rose and fell with each breath she took. As he did this, as he felt this incredible sensation, he looked up momentarily across the brightly lit room to the wall opposite him. It was covered in mirrors and he began examining himself. His whites were terrifically brilliant. His head covered with a cap to secure his hair, his face covered with a nice white hospital grade mask. He could see the front of the mask moving in and out with each breath he took. As he stared, he made himself breath more slowly, regulating his excitement. He didn't want to peak too early. He had a long way to go. His doctors coat was impeccable as were his white doctors pants. He had taken care of every detail right down to the elastic slippers he was wearing over his shoes. In his eyes, he was beautiful.
His hedonistic trance was broken as her body shifted beneath his palms. He looked down at his hands and watched her skin try to retreat from his touch. She was a perfect specimin, even down to the little line indented in her skin where you could see the muscles underneath. He followed this line slowly up the length of her torso, between her breasts to her neck. He paused there to watch her throat constrict and to admire her well defined collarbone. He reached up with his right hand and caressed the soft flesh covering this area. He could feel himself getting excited and, shutting his eyes he willed himself down. After a couple of minutes he opened his eyes again and continued his caress by opening his right palm and cupping the left side of her face. He looked at her and saw that she was wide eyed and frightened. He looked deeply into her brown eyes, pupils constricted to pins from the glare and invasion of the intense operating lights above her. He could see that tears were starting to creep down the sides of her face, her hair becoming moist from their touch. She was deliciously horrified.
He smiled at her.
She was surprisingly docile against her restraints. He hadn't made them too tight for fear of cutting off her circulation. After all, he wanted the blood to be able to flow freely once he had started.
No.
She was intentionally restraining herself from becoming too wild against her bonds. He was puzzled by this for a moment and then he realized that she still must have thought there was a chance that she could somehow survive this. He was amazed at what kind of thought process this could be. Here lies a girl of no more than twenty, strapped to a stainless steel table fully naked, mouth taped over, with a man who looks suspiciously like a surgeon standing over her and yet, hope springs eternal. He cocked his head to the side, puzzling this out in his head as he watched the tears escape from her beautiful eyes.
Then he turned slightly to his right and uncovered the stainless steel pan that was on the wheeled table next to her. He examined his instruments intently, eyes going from one to the next to the next. He admired the shine and reflection coming off the highly polished surgical steel and fantasized about what it must be like for a real doctor to operate on human subjects every single day. As he played out the fantasy in his head, he reached over and picked up the craftsman drill that was situated directly next to the other instruments. He felt the drills satisfying weight in his left hand as he surveyed the drill bits lying on the pan next to where the drill was. "Three sixteenths should do it," he said out loud as he reached down and picked up that particular size. He carefully loaded the end into the drill bit and tightened down the chuck with the key. Once the key was put back on the table where it belonged, he shifted the drill from his left hand to his right.
Placing his index finger on the trigger, he pressed down and the drill came to life.
She started moving against her bonds frantically once she heard the sound of the drill. It seemed extremely loud to her as the whirring sound bounced off the walls of the room. He could see that she was very upset at the sound and he pressed the trigger repeatedly to see if he could make her jump to the rhythm of his pressing. He was disappointed when he saw that he could not.
Ignoring her attempt to free herself from her restraints, he reached down to just below her left knee and grasped her shin, pressing down with most of his weight. He could hear her attempting to scream through her duct tape covered mouth as he concentrated his focus to the area at the side of her left leg adjacent to the knee. He placed the three sixteenth bit against her skin, held her leg down tightly, and pressed the trigger starting the drill. He paused for a moment to look up at her and saw that she was looking down at him, her face crazed with fear. He also watched as her eyes almost came exploding out of her face as he pressed the moving drill bit into the side of her left knee and it penetrated her skin.
He turned back to watch the drill bit bite into her flesh. As he progressed into her knee, he could hear the drill bit slow down slightly as it bit into bone. he could feel the momentary resistance of the bone to the drill as he pressed harder to allow the bit to drill out what was in the way. She was screaming and thrashing against her bonds as he buried the drill bit all the way in until the chuck of the drill was rotating against her gnarled bleeding flesh. As it rotated at high speed it splattered her blood everywhere and his near perfect hospital whites took on the look of a bizarre white night sky exhibiting thousands of little red stars. He held the drill in place, buried into her knee as he looked up and watched himself in the mirror across the room. He could see the reflection of her writhing body as he moved the drill out of the hole slightly and then jammed it back in. He could see the reflection of her head thrashing from side to side, unable to release the screams it had inside.
After he had drilled three different holes in her left knee, he stopped the drill, put it back on the table, and leaned up to get a good look at her face. She was sweating profusely, her hair was matted to the moisture that was covering her face, and her eyes were on fire with madness. He reached up with his left hand and grabbed her face squarely across the mouth, forcing her eyes to his. As he stared into her insanity he smiled. He reached up with his right hand and pulled the blood splattered mask down off his face and revealed this smile to her.
"I am so going to enjoy this," he whispered to her as he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
He then turned his attention to his instrument pan where there was a ball peen hammer lying as straight as an arrow next to a quarter inch chisel. He looked at the hammer and the chisel, then he looked at her collarbone.
The night was young.
To be cont.?
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-06-07 09:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're one of the ones I'm planning to read. I don't have time today, but +2 Anticipation.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-06-07 08:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me queasy, but I'm a wimp. Well written, though.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-06 17:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-06-06 17:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BigMike has posted.
All is now right in the world...for a little while.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-06 17:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate to say it, but Zebra brought up most of the things I would have said about this post.
Not bad, but it could have been quite a bit better with less physical detail and greater character development.
Also, I pictured the dude doing the torture bit as looking suspiciously like the main villian in 'Hostel'.
Still, please keep writing. It wasn't bad, in spite of everything
-----------
oh fuck off
Submitted by Void_Where_Prohibited (user info) at 2007-06-06 12:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written. I'm not into the whole torture aspect. I don't watch those kinds of movies. At least not without whining and covering my eyes. This just sucked me in even though I was expecting the nastiness of the drill other tools of his craft. Well done.
I agree with Hilarity about the "love" aspect. Reading it, it seemed to me that even though you as the reader know horrific things will ensue, it happens through his twisted, warped sense of love for this girl.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-06-06 12:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Mike.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, Re-Animator is banned in Singapore, Iceland, and Sweden. Dang it, now I wanna go rent it, and there is a Blockbuster 2 miles from my house.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ut-ohs!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilarity, your comment makes me want to watch "Re-Animator" again. Haha.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089885/
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, for what it's worth, Hostel wasn't that good in my eyes. I absolutely love horror movies, and during Hostel, just as I did during See No Evil, I started laughing during it. It was not scary at all.
Just this past weekend, I watched Beyond The Wall Of Sleep by H.P. Lovecraft, and I thought it was very good - this story reminds me very much of it. Go rent it, it's definitely worth the $4.29.
What I love about your story is the sense of ultimate love you get from the girl's captor. I think a lot of times people miss the point that killing in this manner isn't about gore, but instead the entire process. Killers like this put just as much, if not more, energy into their projects as most put into their marriages.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I haven't written anything in a very long time. It feels good.
You know, I've really got to get around to seeing Hostel. And Saw 1, 2, and 3 as well. I think I really would enjoy those movies. Don't know why I haven't seen them yet.
Thanks for your comments everybody and thank you Zebra for your interest in how this is written. Now, to address some of your points since they are interesting.
He has been watching her for at least three years, probably longer but he really hasn't thought about the ectasty of dismembering her for much longer than that. Much of the time I put suggestions in my writing and let the reader do with them what they will. This is one of those times. Will you ultimately find out what happened during the course of those three years? Maybe. I don't know yet. The reader will probably have to fill in the blanks along the way.
It's not about the torture, but it never is, is it? It's about the psyche of the individual. You may come to identify with the protagonist over time. You don't feel any of his agony over watching her because his habits and frustration haven't been revealed yet. However, it is clear he is enjoying his actions.
He gets off on seeing her reaction. He gets off on seeing himself in the mirror. It almost gives him a feeling of watching a movie. Someday maybe he will use a video camera. He likes the smell of her sweat and the look of absolute fear and hopelessness that's in her eyes. I was hoping to convey that to a certain extent.
I know the torture thing is out there, even though it may be a sad testament to todays society when the idea of "torture" seems overdone. But what I've always thought is more interesting is the idea and feelings behind the act.
I've been gone from Uber a long time so if anybody wants to leave me some links where I can read some of the "good stuff" that I missed, feel free.
And thank you for reading and commenting.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of beastiality and necrophelia
beating a dead horse.
i hope in the next installment, predator aliens rescue her and eat him alive.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can sympathise, I HATE chasers and hate it even more when they catch on the river.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 09:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for this.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-06-06 09:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-06 09:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very, very good. Please continue.
Nice to see you around :)
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-06-06 08:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your observations on what the whacko's in your stories are seeing/feeling. I am always more interested in that than the actual act of the torture. I know the torture has to be there to write about the reactions, so no complaints there. I just really am most entertained by your take on the mental happenings and physiological reactions of the torturer.
Remind me not to sit at a poker table with you, though. This is NOT the way to take a bad beat. :P
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-06-06 08:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of Hostel.
Fucked up man.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-06 08:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear fuck... Big Mike???
**dies**
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't pare down the description, keep it, it's good. I agree that it's nice to see something with a leisurely pace.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate to say it, but Zebra brought up most of the things I would have said about this post.
Not bad, but it could have been quite a bit better with less physical detail and greater character development.
Also, I pictured the dude doing the torture bit as looking suspiciously like the main villian in 'Hostel'.
Still, please keep writing. It wasn't bad, in spite of everything.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-06-06 05:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what we like! More more more!
I've got a fucking hard on now - is that a bit sick?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 04:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your first lines captured my attention, but since you never explained the time frame, I question its inclusion. I know the story is to be continued, but at least a hint would be nice in this installment. Why has he been waiting three years? If she's "a girl of no more than twenty," then he's been watching her since she was a high schooler. What's the deal? Inquiring minds want a taste, even if your reveal is saved for a future installment.
Some of your word choices and phrasing seem odd and could be improved.
The story is only marginally interesting, as the torture thing has been done to death (pardon the pun).
Overall, it was almost too descriptive, although it's nice to read a story by an author unafraid to proceed a bit more leisurely that the average uber attention span allows.
If I don't feel for the victim or identify with the protagonist, what's the point?
I liked that he struggled to control his excitement, and didn't want to "peak too early," which is very sexual and creepy in this context.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My mistake, I assumed nobody would be able to make that call in person and look people in the eyes afterwards.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's at a home game. No websites. I do play for free money at PokerStars though.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what site you play on?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just so that you know, this post is the result of a donkey ass bitch calling my all-in with a flush draw and sucking out on me at the river thus costing me a pot of about 40 dollars.
For you non Texas Hold-em fans I will interpret as thus:
I got screwed on the last possible card by an idiot who called my bet with nothing.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-06-06 03:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-06 02:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa, a Bigmike post.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-06 02:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa, a Bigmike post.