What I Have Learned By Thirty (and a half) (2599 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 97 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Razor <Jeremy_21117.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-06-14 16:57:04 EDT
To be honest, this post won't contain anything you probably haven't read somewhere else. In fact, this information is all out there and readily available, and most people learn most of it eventually, but the sooner you learn it the better off you will be. I honestly wish someone had forced me to sit down and read something like this at seventeen, I picked up bits of it from different places gradually and just wish I had seen it all in one place at the same time.
I've made more than my share of mistakes and hopefully sharing some of my observations will help you correct your own before you get to be as old as I am... if there is one secret to life, it's being proactive.
Rule 1: Money is not the devil
I don't really care if you think it's the tool of the bourgeoisie dictatorship designed to keep a permanent underclass of workers subservient to the wealthy masters. Odds are you're not going to join a club with Brad Pitt and overthrow modern society... and the sooner you face up to the fact that you live in a capitalist society with a capitalist system, the sooner you will realize that you can put this system to work for you and yours.
I've discovered that the cliche "money won't buy you happiness" is very misleading. The lack of money causes a great deal of unhappiness, and is tied to everything from crime rates to lifespan. And I've discovered that having money gives you a great deal of freedom to pursue opportunities for happiness that you would not have otherwise had, and it allows you to provide opportunity for the children you may someday have.
While there is certainly far more to life than money, the simple truth is that you have to handle money in SOME way, even if that way is terribly overspending, pushing yourself into debt, and wondering why you never have the cash to buy a pack of smokes. Given that every human being in our modern world has to handle their money in some fashion, you might as well learn to do it intelligently.
I've decided that this advice is worth far more to people than my opinions on the value of art or whether you should eat fast food... I hope that common sense tells you that eating healthy will keep you alive, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Rule 2: Live with your parents for as long as you can.
Yes, even after you get out of college. That apartment where you and your friends can hang out and smoke weed in the living room is the single worst mistake you can make in between 18-25. Why? Because putting a roof over your head is for most people the single biggest expense of their lifetimes. The sheer amount of money you can save (properly invested) by not having to pay for a place to live will make a massive difference to your lifestyle over time.
Consider this real life example of a coworker of mine: He graduated from college with a decent amount of student loan debt... he got a job as a junior programmer making I'd guess $45,000 a year. He stayed at his parents house and lived as frugally as he could while his buddies were out on their own sharing a place together. A few months ago he was able to put $50,000 or so down on a house while his friends are still renting.
How about a different way of looking at it... let's assume you live somewhere exceedingly cheap and after splitting a place with a couple of other guys, your share of rent, electricity, phone, etc. comes out to a nice round $500 per month. Now let's assume you're 21 years old, and instead of paying out this $500 per month you invest it at a good rate of return for good investors (15% annually, some people will say that's high, but I'll get there...). Now, you do this for three years and at 24 you go and live your life, never investing another dime of your money. you would have five and a half million dollars tucked away when you retired at 65.
That's not really enough to retire on, as I'll demonstrate, but it's a goddamn good start.
Time is both your greatest friend and your worst enemy when it comes to financial freedom. Start investing when you're a kid still. Make a lifetime habit of it. You will retire with great wealth.
Rule 3: Learn how to manage your credit.
That does not mean, as so many young people seem to think, not getting credit cards. Get them. Pay them off in full EVERY SINGLE MONTH. Do it now. It takes a few years to build up a good credit score.
Having a good credit profile will make a HUGE difference when you go to take out your major life loans (home, car, etc.) Go spend a few hours reading about how to maintain a good credit profile. The information is out there and it's free.
Speaking of cars, if you dump a lot of money into a car you're a jackass. Cars are the worst investment you can make, they depreciate so fast you're practically lighting dollar bills on fire. I just absolutely want to strangle people who buy cars that are beyond their means. Just because you can afford the payment and get by doesn't mean that a car isn't beyond your means... I don't have an exact number for you but you should be looking to spend as little as humanly possible.
Rule 4: Follow the 10% rule.
This rule says that you should take ten percent of your income and invest it, at an absolute minimum. Most if not all online trading sites will auto-draft a set amount out of your checking account every month. I have mine set up at exactly 10%, and whenever I can I try to add more into it. If you learn to do this early on, you will never miss the money, and you will become wealthy.
Rule 5: Learn about debt.
I was tempted to title this section "Pay down all your debt completely" but this is only partially good advice. Some debt, like mortgage debt, is actually fine and doesn't need to be paid off immediately (consider that you might only be paying 5% on that money, but you could earn 15% on the market).
The rest of it HAS GOT TO GO. Banks make unbelievable fortunes off of credit card debt. Remember that $18,000 that turned into $5 million because of compound interest? CREDIT CARD COMPANIES ARE DOING THE SAME THING TO YOU EVERY SINGLE MONTH YOU DO NOT PAY OFF YOUR BALANCE IN FULL. Do not take out loans unless they are zero interest.
Rule 6: Buy your own home
If you follow Rule 1 well enough, it is entirely possible that you will never rent a home your entire life. Regardless of where you are now, if you do not own a home you should be making saving up enough to buy one a priority. Renting is like flushing money down a toilet, it's really just the worst thing imaginable you can possibly do for yourself. Owning your own home means you're paying yourself rent by building equity, and your property value is increasing (yes, even in the current market, property value will eventually start to creep back up... real estate doesn't ever bomb, it plateaus for awhile). The tax savings from being a homeowner are amazing.
Rule 7: Be aggressive in the career market
A lot of times, the only way to get a big salary jump is to move to a new company. If you're not flipping burgers, odds are that there is a recruiting industry related to yours, and a recruiter who would love nothing more than to up your salary and earn some commission while he's at it. Know what the market is like for your career, and keep your resume polished. No matter how nice they treat you, in the end that company is looking out for itself and not for you. The only person who is going to be looking out for you is you. Trust me, your loyalty is misplaced.
Rule 8: Learn how to invest
Really, this is the biggest and most important thing you can do for your financial freedom. The miracle of compound interest says that anyone who invests for their entire adult life consistently and intelligently will retire rich.
But what if my stocks go down you say? What if I invest in the wrong stock? What if the market crashes? Aren't there terrible risks involved.
Yes and no. In the short term, crashes, corrections, and bad stock picks all happen. But over the long haul, the stock market always goes up. Let's say you started investing in 1920 and stopped investing in 1960. You would have lived a huge chunk of your productive life through the great depression, but consciously investing in the stock market through all those years would have still allowed you to vastly enhance the amount of money you would have otherwise had. Consider this... we all know how the stock market bubble burst in the early 2000s, and it's been pretty bearish since then, but the S&P 500 closed on December 30th 1988 at 277.72 and as of this writing is at 1522.98. I want you to do this math on your own... go here: http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm and figure out how much you'd have if you invested 200 dollars a month in the S&P index.
Stay in the stock market throughout your adult life, and you will retire rich. Just make it a habit. Make it a habit. Make it a habit and you will be rich.
Rule 9: Educated investors can beat the market.
So educate yourself. Start here: http://www.fool.com/school.htm?ref=G02A06 There are a million different people out there giving you advice, the guys at fool.com will educate you on the basics, help you learn about why mutual funds are only the answer if you're not really interested in becoming rich, why being a day trader is a bad idea, etc. etc. There is a lot of free stuff on there, and there is a lot of stuff you can pay to gain access to. I myself went with the Hidden Gems approach and have done very very well following their advice... one of the cool things is they post the return of every single pick they've ever made against how the S&P has done since the time of their pick, and you can see that they have crushed the market year after year.
Rule 10: It's going to cost you to retire
Don't forget, money goes up in price too. Inflation is a reality, and having a million dollars when you retire isn't going to be enough. Being a millionaire is going to be an average middle class thing in another 40 years... it may sound crazy, but it's true. To maintain a nest egg against market fluctuations, you cannot rely on being able to safely withdraw more than 4% of your total per year... and your nest egg MUST be sustainable... especially with the rate at which medical science is going, I wouldn't be surprised to see many Americans living to 100 or beyond... if you retire at 65 (or, as I'm guessing for Gen Y, 70) you may have 30 years or more of life upon which you're counting on that money to sustain you. Start saving now.
Rule 11: The time is now
This is not good advice for when you're thirty, or when you get a promotion, or a raise, or when you're older. Start now, however old you are. Invest. Manage your money. Find freedom.
User Reviews
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2007-10-07 15:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Living with your parents (through university anyway) = social death? Well, at least it is here, in Holland.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like this and I'm going to check these links out. I wish you would have stated that all your advise is financial-related (I was expecting something more well-rounded) but I appreciate it nonetheless.
Thanks, Razor.
Murphy
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-08-31 02:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
same-O same-O 1;30AM im-fool commercial
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-30 21:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is all pretty much bullshit that is aimed at people who live boring lives doing boring shit, and who don't have basic money sense. You must've been a 17-year-old retard if any of this advice would've helped you 13 years ago.
If you have the ability and the will to be successful, you can get either get an elite, high-paying career, or a moderately-paying career in a truly enjoyable field. In either scenario, basic financial sense is all you'll need to live comfortably and charitably. If you're a stupid fucking idiot, then perhaps this post will help you better manage your $9 an hour.
I'd kill myself if money management ever became one of the most important things in my life. It's not that I think money is the devil, it's just that it's so fucking boring.
--------------------------
I have the feeling you are neither the ability or the will for an elite oor comfortable job. So you should probably pay attention.
This was good advice. I graduated college 25k in debt and paid it all off (along with a new a car) within a year. My only regret was not buying a house in the US or investing more when I was making silly money overseas.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good advice for ppl who need it. But I guess around here, nobody needs sound advice...
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-08-30 16:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-06-17 22:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You obviously enjoy the view from your soapbox, but you don't tell any lies.
PS - It took approximately 7 reviews longer than I would have thought for the first Jew-reference to drop.
Submitted by ser_hag (user info) at 2007-06-17 21:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rule 12. fuck lots of women. dont fuck just one, fuck lots of women.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-06-16 02:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So awesome. This cleared a lot of stuff up for me.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-16 02:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really agree that we need to get out of the two views of money that plague our society: it's the route of all evil, and it and expensive things are my reason for living. It's a practical concept we have for the sake of trade and attaining valuable objects, that we each should like to get more of but shouldn't get too obsesssed over.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-16 02:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't agree with everything you said, but your generally logic-oriented and optimistic approach was interesting and refreshing.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2007-06-15 16:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Money isn't the devil.. It's just a ticket used to get other shit you need, whether that be a new kidney or a new house or a pack of gum.
R.A.W. called money "Bio-survival tickets", sometimes used for "need" and mostly for "want".
I personally give about two shits and a fuck about money, as long as I am above water and not depressed I'm fine with it. I'd love to have more, but I'm not jerking it to Benjamin, if you catch my jizz.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-06-15 13:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Money rules the fucking world. You can get away with murder (O.J., Robert Blake) if you have enought of it. You can be famous for no fucking reason (Paris). You can get laid regardless of the fact that you look creature from another planet (Fat Tony).
Money can't buy you love? Bullshit. Nice car, nice clothes, nice home, nice lifestyle and you'll have lots of bitches to choose from.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-15 11:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All I think about is money.
And broads.
PS. And drinking and gambling.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-15 10:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jamie, Despina is not Method. He gave that account away a long time ago, so it's just some wimp hiding behind an alter.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-06-15 10:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great post and you're 100% correct.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-06-15 09:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
poor old razor. an intellect in a sea of dullards.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-06-15 09:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:36:47 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jew
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:35:28 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is all pretty much bullshit that is aimed at people who live boring lives doing boring shit, and who don't have basic money sense. You must've been a 17-year-old retard if any of this advice would've helped you 13 years ago.
If you have the ability and the will to be successful, you can get either get an elite, high-paying career, or a moderately-paying career in a truly enjoyable field. In either scenario, basic financial sense is all you'll need to live comfortably and charitably. If you're a stupid fucking idiot, then perhaps this post will help you better manage your $9 an hour.
I'd kill myself if money management ever became one of the most important things in my life. It's not that I think money is the devil, it's just that it's so fucking boring.
what does this bitch know? i bet she sells jewlery to niggers.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-15 09:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilarity - start now. The time to start is always now.
Everyone else - why is the assumption that because I wrote about money, that's all I think about? I feel pretty comfortable saying there's a body of my work out there that suggests otherwise, as I believe this is the first post I've ever written about money.
I'm not saying don't have a balance, I'm saying that you're going to have to deal with money, so you might as well deal with it intelligently.
Go ahead and fuck members of the opposite (or same) sex, play video games, videotape your kid learning to ride a bike, all that stuff. That's the important stuff, money has no value whatsoever beyond its ability to enable other things in life.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-15 08:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I could've stayed with my parents, I really would've. It would've been nice to save all that money.
This was very interesting to me b/c as of late I've been thinking about this stuff a lot. I'm starting a bit late, but hopefully in the next couple years I can start planning for my retirement and tucking money away.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-06-15 06:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure if this is a joke or not. Are you subtly subverting the stereotype of The Money-luvin' Jew or celebrating it? Is this satire or what?
I'm not exactly sold on the title of this either. What being thirty has to do with what you've written is a little, well, thin.
There's plenty of sense in putting money inside but consider why you are doing it, eh?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-06-15 03:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jew.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-15 03:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sound advice.
i hope most do not follow it as we need ditch diggers and the unwashed to vaccuum our pools and rent us movies.
go out, rent a flat, get stoned almost daily, live it up.
in ten years you can be my gardeners
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-06-15 01:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope I remember that ONE lesson you neglected to pick up...
nah, I'm not going to say it.
i <3 u Razor!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-06-15 01:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number 2 is just bad advice and leads to thousands of deaths each year.
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-15 00:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Really, I don't know what to tell you, but this post is just so fucking boring. It's definitely not gonna help anyone. It's mildly condescending. Those are the only things I can say about it for sure. So fuck off. I'd ask you to post something funnier but your sense of humor is lame and bland.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-06-15 00:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-06-15 00:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-14 23:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
therefor, no, money doesn't buy a penis.
------------------------------
Shhh.... Don't tell hidden101. That's as cruel as telling five years old there is no Santa Claus.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-14 23:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and the proverb "money doesn't buy happiness" doesn't mean "you don't need financial stability, live in a cardbox house and eat garbage"
of course everyone needs a minimum amout of cash and needs to manage it properly...thank you for telling us we like to eat and have a roof over our head. however, money simply isn't a guarantee of happiness.
i make pretty decent money for my age and i make more than all my collegues so no, i don't have a problem with it. but it's only part of the equation and some people make the mistake of focusing entirely on money and the crap they own.
it's just as unhealthy as thinking that money is dirty.
if you spend your life with no ambition because your ok salary is comfy, you'll wake up at 60 thinking you could've done better. if you spend every single minute of your free time running after cash and thinking about that very large object you'd like to purchase, you'll wake up later feeling like you missed out on something.
it's a question of balance. there is a time to be serious and a time for fun. i'm glad you seem to have a healthy relationship with $$$, being a jew and all :-P, but it's not the case with everyone.
therefor, no, money doesn't buy a penis.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-14 23:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
is this advice for 12 years old with learning difficulties?
thank you for the obvious, mr. jew, but we know we need money.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 23:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Again. Time for a Jewbilee.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-06-14 23:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta start investing heavier.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-14 20:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nobody could be this Jewish, I call alter.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-14 20:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good tips.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh wait, I get it, you're an alter, because people as revolting and stupid as you're claiming to be don't actually exist.
Good job, you got me.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is all pretty much bullshit that is aimed at people who live boring lives doing boring shit, and who don't have basic money sense. You must've been a 17-year-old retard if any of this advice would've helped you 13 years ago.
If you have the ability and the will to be successful, you can get either get an elite, high-paying career, or a moderately-paying career in a truly enjoyable field. In either scenario, basic financial sense is all you'll need to live comfortably and charitably. If you're a stupid fucking idiot, then perhaps this post will help you better manage your $9 an hour.
I'd kill myself if money management ever became one of the most important things in my life. It's not that I think money is the devil, it's just that it's so fucking boring.
-------------------
Just because that website you went to from the uberboard said you were worth over a million dollars doesn't make it so. Your reply was so completely demonstrative of someone with no sense whatsoever that it's difficult to know where to begin where to refute you. The stuff I'm saying here IS basic financial sense, if you think it's just a matter of "spend less than you make" I feel sorry for what's going to happen to you when Social Security runs out before you retire, although looking at your picture I doubt you will live that long.
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jew
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is all pretty much bullshit that is aimed at people who live boring lives doing boring shit, and who don't have basic money sense. You must've been a 17-year-old retard if any of this advice would've helped you 13 years ago.
If you have the ability and the will to be successful, you can get either get an elite, high-paying career, or a moderately-paying career in a truly enjoyable field. In either scenario, basic financial sense is all you'll need to live comfortably and charitably. If you're a stupid fucking idiot, then perhaps this post will help you better manage your $9 an hour.
I'd kill myself if money management ever became one of the most important things in my life. It's not that I think money is the devil, it's just that it's so fucking boring.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wah....I didn't get a positive rating on my overdone shit post. I've contributed some, as little as it has been but you throwing that out there isn't really an insult if I'm aware of that. Pretending that you have contributed mass quantities to anything related to me, including this website is ridiculous.
What, you've wasted your time like the rest of us? Wow, you are on to something. Eat some cheerios and quit your whining. In case you missed it, this bandwagon was started a week ago and therefor you are late to the party. I call you out on it and you start whining.
Let's fuck.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-14 22:53:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, TTOM is being an asshole. It's true.
--------------
I'll cut you too if you're not careful.
And since when were you such a sensitive gaywad Razor? Maybe Ill just stick to winding up ETS.
______________
That's good, cause I ran out of razors, and I was wondering how I was going to cut myself today.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We don't get this "The Sun" you speak of in Scotland, just a patch of cloud that is slightly brighter than the rest of the sullen sky.
Sometimes it stops raining so it can snow.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TTOM, we can all tell you haven't been out in the Sun for a very long time.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sunscreen...SUNSCREEN?! Dont you push your anti-cancer agenda on me!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 18:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bart, I have plenty of other observations on life, but I felt that this was worth more than another "Wear Sunscreen" post.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since when have I been such a sensitive gaywad? Where the hell have you been? The answer is "Since 1976"
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-14 22:53:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, TTOM is being an asshole. It's true.
--------------
I'll cut you too if you're not careful.
And since when were you such a sensitive gaywad Razor? Maybe Ill just stick to winding up ETS.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So all you've learned in 30 years is how to save money?
I'm not saying that these things are not valuable. Financial stability is the most important thing that young people have NO grasp on. However, you also have to enjoy your life and if that means paying too much money for a super fast sports car, I'm all for it.
The easiest rule is to live below your means and save the difference. If you graduate college and get a job making a lot of money, start saving as much as possible immediately in your employer's 401k and then save more in some kind of a simple money market account from your bank. Even after all that, what you have remaining will be more than you've ever been used to making.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, TTOM is being an asshole. It's true.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TTOM, I like you and doubt I've given you less than a +2 on any post of yours I've ever read, but going back and reading your first comment, I still have trouble seeing it as a joking comment. Maybe I'm just misreading it, but that's how it comes off to me.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Plus, the Jews won't let me in their clubs, their bath houses, their banks, their synogogues, their delis, etc.
When I tried to embroider "Rancid" on a yarmulke, that pretty much killed all deals.
Plus, I swear too much.
And, I poop too much.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess these are good points but I still maintain that things can, do and will happen...to anyone...that can ruin you financially, no matter how well you've invested, planned and saved.
I am a prime example. I had extensive retirement funds, 401k & 401b, a pension and a nice home on a lake in an area that was appreciating rapidly. By the time I was 29 I was worth approximately $500,000.
Now I have less than nothing. Literally. Nothing. Part of that was bad judgement. Part of it was bad luck. Part of it was circumstancial. Regardless of how it happened, anyone, at any time can lose everything. I am 39 years old and starting completely over from scratch.
It happens.
But I shouldn't have dissed you or your heritage. That was thoughtless and rude, and yeah, it's good for these kids to read this kind of stuff.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, THIS hebe has most of his millions in "global money market funds" but I've never been one to "follow the trends".
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 22:30:32 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's a little more involved than that. Think of all the sheep he's got to keep fed and herd about so they don't go running off into some other guy's pasture or go tumbling off the side of some cliff.
THAT, my friend, is managing your finances.
----------
See, now THATS funny and since I can take a joke I shant be whinging about it being a stereotype.
Scots shag sheep, poets are gay, Jews hoarde gold. See how the world is a hilarious place!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 16:20:46 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just messing with you...us half-hebes have to stick together.
------------
I had no idea. I've never seen you at any of the meetings.
have you not seen his camwhore????
short of having one of those black hats on and ringlets he couldn't look more hebe
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it Shlongy Day already?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BTW, I've left an awful lot of classic reviews today, in case any of you are scoring at home.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's a little more involved than that. Think of all the sheep he's got to keep fed and herd about so they don't go running off into some other guy's pasture or go tumbling off the side of some cliff.
THAT, my friend, is managing your finances.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Putting words in my mouth there ETS.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My extra 10% a month goes to gas. I don't have money to save. But that's okay, cause In about 4 months I'm going to rock the DC art world.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please bear in mind that it's a lot more simple for TTOM to "manage his money".
It generally consists of stacking the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters into "neat little stacks" to bring on down the pub.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
Pretty basic stuff, but it's good to get it out there.
Not sure I agree with #6 as an absolute. Basically, when buying a house, you're betting that the appreciation of your real estate outpaces any other investments you could have made with your downpayment.
This guy explains it better:
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Banking/HomebuyingGuide/WhyRentToGetRicher.aspx
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand where you're going with that Apollo, but it's perfectly reasonable to have a certain amount of debt at 5% when you can earn way more than that on the market. With that said, I am overpaying my mortgage as well.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TTOM, I said flat out that my advice here has nothing to do with happiness, or art, or any of the stuff that brings any actual value to a human life. What I said was that *EVERYONE* has to handle money in some way or another... you can't escape it in this world... and so you might as well handle it intelligently.
It's like eating... everyone has to do it, and you can eat intelligently and remain healthy or you can cram down the Krispy Kremes and wind up a fat diabetic thirty-five year old.
So, if I wrote a post saying "You should keep the carbs reasonable, avoid white bread, don't eat fast food, beans and broccoli are good" would you be attacking me as someone who was telling you how to live your life?
Do whatever the fuck you want, I really don't care. You're out there managing your money every day whether or not you think it's evil, and you can run yourself right into debt if you want.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think these are all good suggestions. I wish I could time travel back and follow some of them right now actually...because I've learned the same exact things. From my mistakes.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good solid advice, disagree about the house business though.
I fully intend to pay off my mortgage in 5 years and use that house as the anchor for a property portfolio.
But that's just another way of investing I suppose.
You should have added: Marry a jew. That's MY secret.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Im not an anti-semite! I hate everyone equally, regardless of race, creed, colour or propensity to hoarde vast quantities of precious metals.
====================
This man is the only nerd I have ever loved.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just messing with you...us half-hebes have to stick together.
------------
I had no idea. I've never seen you at any of the meetings.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Something in the water today?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Im not an anti-semite! I hate everyone equally, regardless of race, creed, colour or propensity to hoarde vast quantities of precious metals.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just messing with you...us half-hebes have to stick together.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha I know my house is packed in here, but I think it was the best choice for my family... I could have afforded more, but I would be investing less.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can?
Tell me h
.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I can capture your attention for 3:31, Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe if you quote "Vin Diesel" in "point number 4", these dickheads will actually read this.
Or, perhaps a pictures of your wife's tits next to "point number 6".
other than that, you may as well be talking to your neighbors wall...the one 5 feet from your garage.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Badlands, I come here so I can get abused by anti-semites. It keeps me level in between meetings of my world-control-conspiracy group and my Keep the Christians out of Hollywood group.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All these points are useless.
Scrimp and save all you like. Shit happens in life that can set you back to square one. A death in the family. Divorce. A lawsuit.
I owned my own home by the time I was 25. Divorce and someone suing me have set me back even FURTHER than square one.
On the same token, I have the potential to make an unlimited income, and be way ahead of the game within the next year or two.
Everything is relative.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking Uber as a whole can barely comprehend "logging on"...you expect this sorry-ass crew to understand - or give a fuck about - long term financial planning?
Now, if you could drop some fucking Xbox terms or perhaps, a few lines from the last "Matrix" movie into your discourse, you'd have a shot at capturing their attention for about 90 seconds.
So this post is about 7 "points" too long.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 22:08:44 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, TTOM, it's true that I'm part Jewish. If you think I'm being a cliched money hungry jew, well that's your problem not mine... I'm done talking about it when you start slinging racial epithets.
----------
If you can stop thinking about Gold for one second, imagine me rolling my eyes and going "pffft" cos thats what I just did.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't argue with any of this. You seem like a reasonably intelligent guy.
...So, why do you come here?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was also listening to The Pixies, where is my mind when i was reading this. weird.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can get this same mindless advice every day of the week on Yahoo/finance, CNBC or The Motley Fool but it's still good advice nonethe less.
------------
I started saying out my post by saying exactly that. This advice is everywhere, but it's still important for people to read and understand it.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh, one the best decisions i ever made was moving out of home at 19.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently you've failed to comprehend that you're a cliched money hungry jew?
=================================
Best reply in Ubersite history.
Specially to this Heb.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, TTOM, it's true that I'm part Jewish. If you think I'm being a cliched money hungry jew, well that's your problem not mine... I'm done talking about it when you start slinging racial epithets.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe he just has a bigger forehea....no, wait, that's not possible.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if Cranky TTOM has a shitty black goatee like Evil Spock.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently you've failed to comprehend that you're a cliched money hungry jew?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can get this same mindless advice every day of the week on Yahoo/finance, CNBC or The Motley Fool but it's still good advice nonethe less.
Except for Number 2...are you fucking kidding me?
I was on my own at 18, after I got kicked out of the college dorms for running a late night afterhours bar. THAT story deserves a post.
Best thing that ever happened to me. Expedited the "learn about money" path.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*vomits*
Sorry, I just couldn't choke down any of this crap after point number 2.
I wish people would stop telling me how to live my life. Live your own and Ill live mine thanks.
Money, career, a house; Its all bullshit if you're not happy.
----------------
Apparently you failed to comprehend point #1.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My money's on "no."
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-14 16:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fuck off with this over done bandwagon. Jimminy Crickets.
----------------
Have you ever contributed anything useful to this site, another human being, or society in general? Just curious.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*vomits*
Sorry, I just couldn't choke down any of this crap after point number 2.
I wish people would stop telling me how to live my life. Live your own and Ill live mine thanks.
Money, career, a house; Its all bullshit if you're not happy.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-14 16:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fuck off with this over done bandwagon. Jimminy Crickets.