How to Get a Huge Raise, a Lot More Responsibility, and Your Own Team of Programmers (2073 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Razor <Jeremy_21117.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-06-27 11:48:52 EDT
Part 1: Thursday June 21st 6 PM
Peter,
I have a procedure that I have to get done in July, and thanks to the health plan our company picked out I need to have $1,000 cash on hand to present to the doctor's office before I undergo this procedure. Since it's potentially life threatening if I don't get this done, I'm pretty much behind a rock and a hard place here. The woman at the doctor's office told me she's never seen a health plan with a deductible like this in her entire career.
I know that XXXXXXXXXXX will reimburse part of this deductible after I pay it, but a thousand dollars is a lot to ask people to go even temporarily out of pocket.
Our health plan is simply not up to snuff compared to other places I could be working; it needs to get better next year.
Part 2: Friday June 22nd 9 AM
Jeremy,
The tone of your message indicates an extremely dissatisfied opinon of your employment status with XXXXXXXXXXX. Fair enough. We will solve the problem by issuing you your final paycheck on July 2. Please return all company-owned materials immediately, at which point we will forward any outstanding re-imbursements for expenses or accrued but unused vacation.
Good luck in your future endeavors.
Peter XXXXXXXXXXXXX
President
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Part 3: Monday Jun 24th 3:02 PM
Jeremy. Looking at a July 16th start date. call me with any questions.
Rick XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
President
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Main Entry: backfire
Function: intransitive verb
1 : to make or undergo a backfire
2 : to have the reverse of the desired or expected effect <their plans backfired>
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 15:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay pay raise.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-10 14:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. What a douche.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-09-11 00:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for a Schrödinger's cat reference.
Methinks I smell a nerd brethren.
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auto +2 for the following:
sticking it to a boss/superior/figure of authority
schrodinger's cat
extreme luck/balls in the face of job-related peril
extreme luck/balls in the face of health-related peril
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 17:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 17:38:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
He sounds like a cock. Take a dump on his desk on the way out.
I'm a very cool boss. I fight with corporate all the time...but I don't play Mr. Big Shit to my staffs.
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I imagine Shlongy would be a very fair boss who would be happy to laugh and joke around and have a drink with th guys provided you worked hard and well.
I also reckon hed be incredibly easy to blackmail as you continuously caught him drunk and banging his PA over the copier.
CLICK
Now, want me to phone Mrs Shlongy or will I be getting that pay rise?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-30 16:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-08-30 16:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-28 11:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-06-28 07:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh - who gives a fuck?
anyone?
no?
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-06-28 05:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
GO QUANTUM CAT!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-06-28 04:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jonny, I was fired by the owner of the company. I don't he'll write something negative on his personnel file, if he even has one, or if he would even care if his personnel file said that he raped baby goats because, oh yeah, he owns the company.
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why are you being a smartass? Thats just not very nice.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-28 04:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a very cool boss. I fight with corporate all the time...but I don't play Mr. Big Shit to my staffs.
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stomping on the kids you manage at hagen daaz would be rather cruel
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-06-27 20:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 nice pic, -1 not overly clear what's going on in the post (thought at 1st that old boss was fired and you were at the same company but with a newly raised peter)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who fires someone over e-mail anyway?
If that was your letter in its entirely, it reads on the unprofessional side for sure, but I wouldn't call it exceedingly angry.
Don't they have security concerns about what you could have done in the interim? If they were 100% bluffing, it'd be hysterical for you to take them to task for it, legally. How funny would it be to see them squirm from a damage control standpoint for firing someone who expresses concern about such shitty benefits. What are they going to publish in a company newsletter "we were only bluffing?"
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this is not why i come to uber.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-27 18:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-27 14:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks in part to an unshakable obsessive-compulsive perversion.
===
details please
--
I think you have quite enough in the McCallum file already, Chief Inspector Laflamme.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jonny, I was fired by the owner of the company. I don't he'll write something negative on his personnel file, if he even has one, or if he would even care if his personnel file said that he raped baby goats because, oh yeah, he owns the company.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-27 14:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks in part to an unshakable obsessive-compulsive perversion.
===
details please
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stongman competition is on tv. Awesome.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:16:06 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe - Congrats on beating the man in his own game. To make is sweeter, Loki has a point...
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You opened the box didn't you? Now the experiment is fucked. I wonder why Schrodinger didn't just pick up the box and shake it. If kitty yells then kitty is alive - stupid scientist.
Nice work on the now job. Now file an EEOC complaint. Firing someone for a medical reason is a HIPAA violation. Oh sure technically that isn't why he fired you but even a second rate Irish lawyer from Omaha should be able to make that claim stick.
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agreed - you should definately make the complaint, at best HE will be fired, at the least he will get a written reprimand in his personnel file which should pretty much fuck his career over.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-06-27 14:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe - Congrats on beating the man in his own game. To make is sweeter, Loki has a point...
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You opened the box didn't you? Now the experiment is fucked. I wonder why Schrodinger didn't just pick up the box and shake it. If kitty yells then kitty is alive - stupid scientist.
Nice work on the now job. Now file an EEOC complaint. Firing someone for a medical reason is a HIPAA violation. Oh sure technically that isn't why he fired you but even a second rate Irish lawyer from Omaha should be able to make that claim stick.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-27 14:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you, man. I had a similar thing happen, but I can't go into details without incriminating myself. Let's just say I was out of a job that sucked and into a job that kicks ass thanks in part to an unshakable obsessive-compulsive perversion.
The randomness of life rocks.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-06-27 13:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did a very similar thing 2 years ago, and it majorly came back to bite me in the ass.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-27 13:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The President of the company was actually expecting that what would happen is that I would call and beg for my job back, so that he could go on being the alpha male and all that... you have to understand his personality to realize that he has a never-ending need to dominate other people and he saw what I wrote as a threat to his dominance.
===
lol, sounds like my new boss, though she's a woman, which is odd considering i get along better with women at work. she's almost twice my age, she's been working 25 years for the same employer and all she managed is project manager and i make more $ than her.
you can't talk to her without getting belittled somehow. the great thing about those insecure morons, is that all you have to do is remind them you can go work elsewhere and they start behaving normally.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-27 13:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
atta boy.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a long conversation with our business director explaing to him that indivdual spending accounts, while saving the company tons of money, are a slap in the face to most employees. I (and most people) want low deductible health insurance. Who gives a fuck if the money is tax free, you're still paying out the ass for it.
I for one am glad Massachsetts is implementing their manadatory universal coverage law. I just know that we were close to losing health insuance coverage as we know it here, which means that I would have had to quit, and looking for a new job sucks.
Cheap bastards
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You opened the box didn't you? Now the experiment is fucked. I wonder why Schrodinger didn't just pick up the box and shake it. If kitty yells then kitty is alive - stupid scientist.
Nice work on the now job. Now file an EEOC complaint. Firing someone for a medical reason is a HIPAA violation. Oh sure technically that isn't why he fired you but even a second rate Irish lawyer from Omaha should be able to make that claim stick.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He sounds like a cock. Take a dump on his desk on the way out.
I'm a very cool boss. I fight with corporate all the time...but I don't play Mr. Big Shit to my staffs.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
grats
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think your former boss rocks. What a great email response to you.
He sounds like Shlongy, only not as good looking or successful.
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Yes, that ranks up on the classic emails of all time I've ever seen. I'm going to print it out and frame it.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's the full story:
I was thinking about leaving my job, and had been talking to someone about the possibility of coming on staff with him and leading a development initiative. His wife is eight and a half months pregnant, so he wanted to wait until she had the kid to get started, so I was just spinning my wheels and waiting for her to go.
Last Thursday, I got a letter from the doctor's office and opened it to discover that I needed to have $1,000 cash on hand to get this thing done. To me, that is a gross violation of the principle behind health insurance, so I wrote an angry letter to the President, VP, HR Manager, and Accountant.
I sat down Friday at 8:30 and started working. I didn't check my email until 9 at which point I noticed I had been fired.
The President of the company was actually expecting that what would happen is that I would call and beg for my job back, so that he could go on being the alpha male and all that... you have to understand his personality to realize that he has a never-ending need to dominate other people and he saw what I wrote as a threat to his dominance. He needed me very badly, I was the second most senior member of a development staff that was already painfully short handed. His miscalculation was that he thought I needed him worse.
After reading off the email, I made a phone call to the guy I had been talking to that started off with "You know that crappy job I've been telling you about? You're not going to believe this..." and his response was "Don't even put your resume up on Monster, let me get my shit together and I'll call you back." (the fact that it was done over the phone is why I have no email text to paste)
He sent me the job offer over email, and after talking over a couple points, I signed & sent back the forms this morning.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So wait, both the rock and the hard place were in front of you?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for a Schrödinger's cat reference.
Methinks I smell a nerd brethren.
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Further, to all you people who think he got fired and rehired or something, CHECK THE SECOND MAIL FROM THE BOSS, SPECIFICALLY WHO IT'S FROM.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would have been better if you included the emails that occurred between parts 2 and 3.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, you got fired?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filename + I just got a raise
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Agree.
Shenanigans.
Submitted by CarterPFly (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:07:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TBH I dont actually believe this is even close to how that went down. Nobody gets fired over an e-mail like that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think your former boss rocks. What a great email response to you.
He sounds like Shlongy, only not as good looking or successful.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for a Schrödinger's cat reference.
Methinks I smell a nerd brethren.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you plagirised this from gmail!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for a Schrödinger's cat reference.
Methinks I smell a nerd brethren.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Peter sounds like a girly little bitch.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A cat in a box ey? Where can I find such a device?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your old boss sounds like a douche.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or basically just give them a big nasty finger.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 coz if it's true, way to fuck em' over.