Why can't I just buy a fuckin' can of tuna? (1768 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.68 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iddqd (View user info) at 2007-10-25 13:16:25 EDT
Fuck you marketing cunts. Fuck you all.
I don't give a fuck what your research says, I dont need a fucking 'Lunchtime Solution', I don't need some 'Tuna Tempters'. I just need a fucking can with some dead fish and some water in it. That's fucking all.
Is that so much to expect?
It appears so.
Perusing the supermarket for some shit to throw on bread to shut my goddamn stomach up for a few measly hours of an afternoon, I figured that some tuna would be a good option. I walk to the aisle with the tuna in it and the proceed to spend the next ten minutes being bewildered by a multidue of fish-based options. Sun-dried tomato tuna in a can. Lemon and herb tuna in a can. Cracked pepper and sea salt tuna in a can. All kinds of shit thrown in a can with tuna.
None of which I wanted. All I wanted was fish in a can with water or, god help me, brine.
But no, companies can't just have you buying their shit like you've always done. They've got to exploit marketing opportunities. They've got to pay some fast-talking douche in a suit lots of money to say the word 'jargon' to them three thousand times, in varying ways so that they can re-invent the fucking wheel and make life more difficult for everyone involved.
How do I know? I've been writing their propaganda on the side for some extra cash. Sometimes I can actually feel the sickly, warm embrace of satans claws caressing my shoulders as I type another page of shit that means nothing.
So, I'm a fucking hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite who gets paid $150 for an easy hour's work. Which is fine by me.
Worse still, I've been adding in horribly trite corporate-jargon words to see what they'll swallow. As it turns out, they'll pretty much swallow anything. I used 'mission-critical' the other day. Will my boredom result in the english language becoming that bit more convoluted and inexpressive? If in my self-humouring experiments I propagate the use of words and phrases that ruin all that is good and right with language and life in general, can I still complain about the stupidity of the world and all in it?
Well, yeah, but I guess I'll feel slightly less self-righteous about it. Which I suppose I can live with. But the sun just got a little colder and greyer.
Why is it so easy to sell jargon to people?
Are people actually tempted by a can that tells them that it is, in fact, a tempter?
Why can't I just buy a fucking can of tuna?
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-27 11:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:19:42 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, the 'whole white albacore in water' is about 4 bucks a can. Still, mix it with mayo, salt and pepper, smear that goo on a toasted English muffin (how many of you just thought of Jamie* after too many pints, come on, fess up) and stick it under the grill. That's good eatin.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88845
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-26 13:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Sometimes I can actually feel the sickly, warm embrace of satans claws caressing my shoulders as I type another page of shit that means nothing."
At least you're honest to yourself.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-10-26 10:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excerpt from Bill Hicks, who said it as best as I think our language can manage to communicate it...
"..........By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Thank you, thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root. I don't know. You try. You do what you can. Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously.
You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. "There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show.........."
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-26 10:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it'll tear, like lungfish's hymen (that he told me about - oh and way to tell me about something I really didn't fucking care to hear you fucking cunt lungfish)
-------
Haha. I missed this last night.
Go Wallabies.
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-10-26 04:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
because you're a dick?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-26 02:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dig the swine
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 23:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 23:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i never could see the point of internet drama.
===
i dunno...mentally ill people having public meltdowns is awesome.
http://tinyurl.com/cob77
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 23:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i read the occasional one. i give them two lines at a time, by and large.
i never could see the point of internet drama.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 23:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha. wtf im not reading those 400 words!
though i dont blame you, the rant was actually a bit dull. i just find it difficult to muster the anger i used to be able to.
===
i've become disinterested in reading this website long before ur rant. no more drama :-(
i'd be suprised if half the people here read more than the titles.
i don't read much english anymore either.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-25 23:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's there man. You just gotta BELIEVE.
Also, lemon and cracked pepper tuna is THE SHIZNIT DOGGY
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there must be some serious consequences when they bang on a door in Bangladesh:
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_jeh_wit_percap-religion-jehovahs-witnesses-per-capita
-
Wildman gets the Non-Sequitur of the Week Award.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha. wtf im not reading those 400 words!
though i dont blame you, the rant was actually a bit dull. i just find it difficult to muster the anger i used to be able to.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
on recently reviewed this comes up as 'why can't i just buy a fuc......'
heh
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i just dropped a magnificient deuce too
to-too-2-toot
i am the egg-man
*****
I is de eggman, I is de de eggman, I is de walrus, GOO GOO GA JOOB!!!
CAUL: kiss my grits, dude. . .
Caul, whut ju got goin' on, dude? due whee sea I two eye?
Can whe awl ghet arong???
Heh!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just had a tuna sandwhich
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the fucking post was meant to be a pissant whine about something insignificant for the sake of whining. way to upstage me.
===
it's ok, i was only kidding.
i didn't really read the whole post. like most internet users, i read two sentences until i lose my attention and scroll down only to stop for $$$ signs or porn.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you used this insignificant anecdote to mention your hourly salary
********
And you make $150 per hour??
===
no. i didn't say i did.
****
No, Caul, and I didn't say you said you did. My point was that Iddqd's point was not the money per hour, but how idiotic the "money" people are about advertizing.
You aren't stupid, Caul, just bitchy. . . :) :)
===
i honestly have no idea what you're talking about or what your "point" is. even though i read your reply 10 times.
english, le parlez-vous, motherfucker?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-10-25 22:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know what you *can't* buy? coffee filters. Not the ones in that maroon and blue packaging, but the ones that used to be like the only brand on the shelf in the green and red box. It's a small gripe but those new brown tree-hugger ones aren't nearly as robust, so when you've only got a choice of 4-6 cup or 8-12, and the 4-6 ones are too small for your machine and the 8-12 ones sit a little high, so when you go to close the coffee holding bit the paper gathers at the lip of the coffee holding bits...'recess' I guess you'd call it, and then bunches and folds across so when the water starts to drip through it doesn't drip directly onto the coffee, but onto the bent over filter, and god only knows what those bleeding heart pole sitters recycle to make those things, but it's dripping into my coffee, and then filtering through the bottom, like double-whammy. And if you try to shove the filter down a little, so as to stop it from hitting the coffee holding bits recess, nine times out of ten it'll tear, like lungfish's hymen (that he told me about - oh and way to tell me about something I really didn't fucking care to hear you fucking cunt lungfish), and the white ones made from hundred year old forest trees never used to do that, you know the ones in the green and red box. Anyway it's probably not the end of the world, but it gets under my skin a little.
+1 for letting me get this off my chest.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there must be some serious consequences when they bang on a door in Bangladesh:
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_jeh_wit_percap-religion-jehovahs-witnesses-per-capita
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i just dropped a magnificient deuce too
to-too-2-toot
i am the egg-man
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well THAT's a relief.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus christ. no, the point wasnt to mention an hour salary. thats freelance work which i get intermittently. my actual wage is a fucking pittance and as a result i currently live hand to mouth, with the occasional bone thrown my way courtesy of satan. however in return for my low wage i receive happiness, and my currently ideal job: i get to write in a significant manner and am my own boss and work my own hours. THAT i will brag about.
the fucking post was meant to be a pissant whine about something insignificant for the sake of whining. way to upstage me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you used this insignificant anecdote to mention your hourly salary
********
And you make $150 per hour??
===
no. i didn't say i did.
****
No, Caul, and I didn't say you said you did. My point was that Iddqd's point was not the money per hour, but how idiotic the "money" people are about advertizing.
You aren't stupid, Caul, just bitchy. . . :) :)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-25 21:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 18:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bought some tuna yesterday, it really wasn't too difficult.
I picked it up. I put it in my cart. I waltzed to the checkout line. I placed the tuna on the conveyor belt. The clerk ran it over the magic eye and told me how much it was. I put my hand in my pocket. I pulled my hand out and there was some money in it. I gave it to the clerk. The clerk took the money. The clerk opened the cash drawer and got out my change. The clerk gave me my change. The clerk put the can of tuna in a plastic sack. The clerk handed me the sack. I took the sack. I walked out the door. I walked through the parking lot to my car. I drove my car home. I got out. I went in my door. I put my tuna on the counter. I took a pee. My tuna is in the cupboard because I did not eat it yet.
That's how I buy tuna and get it in my cupboard.
_____
How was that "not too difficult"???? it had, like, a billion steps!
Also, idd, light blue can means "tuna in springwater".
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you used this insignificant anecdote to mention your hourly salary
********
And you make $150 per hour??
===
no. i didn't say i did.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you used this insignificant anecdote to mention your hourly salary
********
And you make $150 per hour??
HAH!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 18:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bought some tuna yesterday, it really wasn't too difficult.
I picked it up. I put it in my cart. I waltzed to the checkout line. I placed the tuna on the conveyor belt. The clerk ran it over the magic eye and told me how much it was. I put my hand in my pocket. I pulled my hand out and there was some money in it. I gave it to the clerk. The clerk took the money. The clerk opened the cash drawer and got out my change. The clerk gave me my change. The clerk put the can of tuna in a plastic sack. The clerk handed me the sack. I took the sack. I walked out the door. I walked through the parking lot to my car. I drove my car home. I got out. I went in my door. I put my tuna on the counter. I took a pee. My tuna is in the cupboard because I did not eat it yet.
That's how I buy tuna and get it in my cupboard.
******
I picked it up. I shoved it up my ass. I puked in the ch3ckout line. The clerk slapped my crotch.
The clerk opened the drawer, pulled out a knife, and cut off my intellect. I now have to have my retarded brother write for me, as I am dumber than usual. I really suck. . .
P.S. Thirty year-old canned tuna is brighter than I....
See my point????
(Iddqd, cool post)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-25 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you used this insignificant anecdote to mention your hourly salary
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 18:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bought some tuna yesterday, it really wasn't too difficult.
I picked it up. I put it in my cart. I waltzed to the checkout line. I placed the tuna on the conveyor belt. The clerk ran it over the magic eye and told me how much it was. I put my hand in my pocket. I pulled my hand out and there was some money in it. I gave it to the clerk. The clerk took the money. The clerk opened the cash drawer and got out my change. The clerk gave me my change. The clerk put the can of tuna in a plastic sack. The clerk handed me the sack. I took the sack. I walked out the door. I walked through the parking lot to my car. I drove my car home. I got out. I went in my door. I put my tuna on the counter. I took a pee. My tuna is in the cupboard because I did not eat it yet.
That's how I buy tuna and get it in my cupboard.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-25 16:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tuna has mercury in it. Don't eat it or you may start frothing at the mouth and siring deformed babies.
Everything is just about fucked, which is why my diet these days pretty much consists of fruit, tofu, Sunchips and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now steak knows why you're a total bitch. You need real meat, steak even.
Your "tofu" may be healthy, but it isn't good for you. The chips and fruit are safe enough. The coffee should happen twice per day, morning and night.
:D
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-25 16:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like having options.
don't ever get the savoury onion tuna, that shit lingers on your breath for hours.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-25 16:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Probably because you're too fucking stupid to pull it off.
-Captain Thorns
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because a traditional tuna melt includes cheese.
Did I mention cheese?
DID I, MOTHERFUCKER!?!?!?!?!
v
v
v
v
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why not just say "JACK LIKE TUNA MELT AND HATE WETBACK SCUM RAWR!!?!??!"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, the 'whole white albacore in water' is about 4 bucks a can. Still, mix it with mayo, salt and pepper, smear that goo on a toasted English muffin (how many of you just thought of Jamie* after too many pints, come on, fess up) and stick it under the grill. That's good eatin.
(* Awaits an Apollo response along the lines of WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT MCCALLUM YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THE RIGHT TO ADDRESS ME BY MY BLAH BLAH BLAH)
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When I read the phrase "mission-critical" there I actually felt a part of my soul wither and drop off
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...i do that in legislative position papers all the time. just throw around legal-business jargon that doesn't really add to the paper at all.
i knew i was in trouble when the guys at the top started to like the horseshit i was spinning for them. that's when i started wasting my time on ubersite.
if you're making loot, why the hell are you eating canned tuna? that is looked at as kids food at best, and garbage sustenance for the po' at worst. or is this like an Australian version of Hawaiians and SPAM? some inexplicable cultural quirk?
-----------------------------------------
Is it? Whole white albacore in water in those little zippie packs are like 3 bucks each, I didnt think they were particularly cheap.
PERHAPS IM A POOR DIRTY IMMIGRANT SOMEONE CALL THE BOARDER PATROL. :-)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I watched a special on Tuna the other day. They were tuna wrangling. Essentially they move these big ass nets out to see and gather schools of tuna in them and then move the whole lot..still in the ocean mind you...back to a safe harbor were they feed them for a year or so before slaughtering.
we're going to fucking destroy everything in time.
--
Agreed.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha! Agreed. I stock up every once in a while for tuna & mayo sandwich cravings and I noticed the same thing a while back. Maybe mom and dad could afford to pay the bills if they actually made their kids some sandwiches for school using inexpensive tuna and bread instead of buying those overpriced meal packs with fuck all in them.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TUNA RAGE
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha ha
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mind a tuna sammich now and then.... it goes like this.... multi grain bread, slice of brick or swiss, tuna, slice of brick, bread, butter the bread, throw the whole lot on a frying pan, ala grilled cheese and when it's done it's quite tasty
~Brdn_Nkd
----
That sounds amazing right now.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mind a tuna sammich now and then.... it goes like this.... multi grain bread, slice of brick or swiss, tuna, slice of brick, bread, butter the bread, throw the whole lot on a frying pan, ala grilled cheese and when it's done it's quite tasty
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uh.........that didn't come out quite right
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just quietly stuff more dolphin in my cans and i'll be quite happy
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*previous.
and shut up.
i've had NO COFFEE FOR THREE YEARS
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i must express my extreme dismay at the word "solutions." who knew we had so many problems to solve? if i never hear "solutions" again......
dinner solutions
nighttime solutions
snacktime solutions
on the go solutions
wtf.
and if i see another iPhone commercial trying to sell me his solution to problems I really, REALLY don't have I'll shoot the motherfucker. "Now I just grab my wallet and go!!!!!" like it was so hard to get out the door before iPhone was invented. so do i fuckface, and my non-iPhone does not interfere AT ALL with this process.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone
ps: i own several mac products. i just resent their dumbed down marketing. their previos ads showed features of the phone, not some slob who can't manage to get out of the house in the morning.
and a special shut up to hbts.
I AM NOT!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
decent rant.
Round here the fancy tuna comes in "pouches" sealed with flava. BAH. The regular tuna can still be found in a can on the bottom shelf where the red-headed stepchildren of the food department sit, along with generic cereals and light bulbs.
Bulbs are not foods and should not be in the same isle as foods.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well some people like a little extra flavor when they eat fish.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you just shit on yourself
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like smoked kipper bites from a tin. But not sardines.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will not eat fish out of a can or fish from a supermarket. Gross.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was the purpose of this post to tell us you make $150/hour?
I'll send you some cans of tuna if you want.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my wife's cousin is up in the northern sea by Alaska right now doing deep-sea crab fishing.
he eats all the crabs he wants because he fucking EARNS it. dangerous as hell job.
Submitted by anunusualyetwittyname (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coffee tastes like happy.
Truer words were never spoken.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm pretty sure I could buy a can of fucking tuna...
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sunchips are literally the greatest snack food EVER INVENTED.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...i do that in legislative position papers all the time. just throw around legal-business jargon that doesn't really add to the paper at all.
i knew i was in trouble when the guys at the top started to like the horseshit i was spinning for them. that's when i started wasting my time on ubersite.
if you're making loot, why the hell are you eating canned tuna? that is looked at as kids food at best, and garbage sustenance for the po' at worst. or is this like an Australian version of Hawaiians and SPAM? some inexplicable cultural quirk?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I watched a special on Tuna the other day. They were tuna wrangling. Essentially they move these big ass nets out to see and gather schools of tuna in them and then move the whole lot..still in the ocean mind you...back to a safe harbor were they feed them for a year or so before slaughtering.
we're going to fucking destroy everything in time.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tuna has mercury in it. Don't eat it or you may start frothing at the mouth and siring deformed babies.
Everything is just about fucked, which is why my diet these days pretty much consists of fruit, tofu, Sunchips and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
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Coffee tastes like happy.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tuna has mercury in it. Don't eat it or you may start frothing at the mouth and siring deformed babies.
Everything is just about fucked, which is why my diet these days pretty much consists of fruit, tofu, Sunchips and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rant.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
feeding the world's desire for more
more options, more ingredients, more flavor more more more more more
its not just americans
aside from all of that, our desire to have things simple...why go home and add mayo and relish to tuna when they will prepare if for you complete with a ton of sodium and a little extra fat.
all white tuna in water straight out of the can is the only way to go if you're going to do canned tuna