"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat. "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." (694 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.84 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ballare (View user info) at 2008-03-06 16:02:28 EST
I. http://www.ubersite.com/m/115367
--
Alice glanced around. At some point, the forest around them had dissolved into an open meadow. Tall red grasses waved, topped with little green flowers, which somehow seemed backward to Alice - should not the tall green grass wave, and the little flowers be red?
She opened her mouth to ask the Cheshire Cat, but he had already began into the field. Momentarily he vanished from sight, but she could see the very tip of his tail swaying amid the stalks, and as he brushed by the grass, it bent and fluttered. Straining her ears, Alice fancied the field hummed tunelessly at her.
"Curious," Alice said, and she followed behind him in the wake of his passing.
As she trailed behind the Cheshire Cat, Alice began to notice something strange: the farther in they went into the field, the taller the grass grew. Soon, it tickled her stomach. A few more steps, and Alice felt it brushing at her chin - just shortly after that, Alice sneezed forcefully when a stalk swept under her nose. And after her companion had stopped and Alice caught up with him, she found she herself stood no larger than the Cheshire Cat!
"Even curiouser!" She mumbled, glancing down to brush out her skirt. Tiny grass seeds tumbled to the ground, sparkling brightly where they landed. "The world appears to have grown quite large! Or perhaps it is me that has shrunken again? I am quite fed up with all this changing about business!"
It occurred to Alice that perhaps normal little girls in blue dresses had no business growing and shrinking at random as she did. But then again, it struck Alice that perhaps she was no normal little girl.
"Are you quite finished?" The Cat was staring rather pointedly at her.
"Er- yes, I believe so." Alice patted at her arms, and gazed intently at her feet to be sure they were firmly on the ground and no longer shrinking beneath her. "Yes, I'm reasonably certain."
"Then by all means follow me. I would request, however, you remove your shoes at the door."
Alice's brow wrinkled, and she glanced up, and her mouth formed a little 'O' of surprise.
In the centre of the meadow stood a large wooden rolltop desk, now looming above them.
"I suppose there is nothing so very remarkable about that, excepting the small stepladder leading up to the round hole cut in the side of it," Alice mumbled to herself, "although I have never seen such a thing before." Alice's experience with such old furniture was limited to the oak desk she would tiptoe past in her piano teacher's foyer. Conceivably all rolltop desks were meant to have stepladders and holes, and it was perhaps her elderly piano teacher who had things muddled.
The Cat took off up the steps, bounding up two at a time. Alice followed at a more sedate pace, carefully stepping up the center of the steep stairs. There were no handrails, and she instead stuffed her hands into the front pocket of her white apron.
From the outside, it appeared to be a perfectly normal desk , albeit a massive one. But as she ascended the steps and approached the door- she noted with amusement that it seemed to be a large swinging cat-flap- she caught sight of the windows on the side; it was as if the structure was a giant desk-shaped house.
While the Cheshire Cat pushed ahead of her, Alice paused, and leaned cautiously out over the edge of the staircase. She could just barely see over the lip of an open drawer, and caught sight of a hand-held lamp (the lightbulb appeared broken) and... she squinted and read the title of the book, written in bold letters, FOLLOW ME. And, in smaller, impatiently italicized letters: a Tale of Your Deity and How to Properly Worship Him. And after that, in proud blocking, Now A Bestseller!
"Oh," she whispered, creeping back over the edge.
The Cat's voice beside her ear spoke brusquely. "Those that seek the light must use a torch. Mine appears to be broken, unfortunately. Ah, but I won't lose too much sleep over it. You must believe in yourself before you can believe in anything else. And if there is one thing I firmly believe in, it's myself."
She twisted her head around quickly, but the Cat had disappeared into the desk.
User Reviews
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-09 03:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-07 20:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This series is awesome.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2008-03-07 20:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-03-07 19:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-07 08:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the better written stories of the last century. Shame it had to be written by a shroom trippin pedophile though.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-03-07 05:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is excellent I love them.
Is it just me or did anyone else look at the picture and think 'Just a little gust of wind and ....ah...'
No?
Okay I'm sick I will go now.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-03-07 05:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loving it
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-06 20:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice choker
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-06 20:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to succumb to social standards like kicking pigeons but it can't possibly be inertially acceptable, can it?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 18:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I looked at THAT one and while the tits are quite pleasant to browse at, you seem to be suffering from jaundice and you may want to see a Doctor...pronto.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-06 17:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously it's my boobs :(
here I hosted it on something else
http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/3497/boobswk5.jpg
I mean if you don't want to look at them that's your bad but whatever
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 17:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I only fell for THAT one the first 16 times someone directed that to me.
NO MORE, TOOTS. I'M NO IDIOT.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-03-06 17:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-03-06 17:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy my dear ask and you shall receive
http://tinyurl.com/37oyc8
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you ever show me your tits? I forgot.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:36:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
super mega deja vu
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-03-06 16:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't be mad, be glad! :)
PS i didn't read this yet, i have to read the other one first but i don't have time now..
but we're co-champions of friendship so it's cool.