Fuck Tibet. (1271 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.06 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iddqd (View user info) at 2008-04-10 04:42:24 EDT
Recently, Australia's new Prime Minister (that's like a president) made some comments about serious human rights issues in Tibet.
He made them in mandarin, a skill he loves to show off, the little fucking geek.
Anyway, of course the Chinese got a little annoyed, etcetera.
The ins-and-outs of international dialogues and diplomacy do not interest me in the slightest.
What actually interests me is stupidity. Well, what I perceive as stupidity. The stupid thing here is the Chinese occupation of Tibet.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not activist, I'm not a Buddhist, and I don't really care. As long as human rights violations don't happen to me or most of my friends and associates (though a couple could probably do with a bit of violation, and not in a sexy way), I couldn't give the slightest fuck. Any of you people can suffer and die in the most horrible of ways for all I care.
I saw this shit on the news and happened to have my laptop on in front of me. So i wiki'd 'Tibet'.
Tibet Is A Shithole. It's as simple as that.
I looked to see what their natural resources were, figuring that wherever there's money, there's bound to be a good reason. No oil, no coal, no mining (well at least as far as my extensive research of wikipedia is concerned, which I accept may well not be as comprehensive as you might believe), no fucking nothing. All they have is subsistence agriculture - which basically means slowly starving on garden weeds, mutton, yakmeat and butter tea. Lots and fucking LOTS of butter tea - some Tibetans drink as much as 100 cups of it a day. Probably in lieu of anything other to do than pray to Buddha, dig up some weeds for dinner, protest, and/or get beaten up by Chinese soldiers.
Well, reading this definitive guide to Tibet, I suddenly had a brilliant idea, because brilliant ideas is what I do.
My idea is this: Fuck Tibet.
Here's the plan, Tibetans: You live in what I believe I've accurately termed a Shithole. Say to yourselves and each other: "Fuck this bullshit, we're getting bashed and killed for the side of an unfertile, unproductive, cold, desolate, middle-of-nowhere mountainside. Is it really worth it?"
Then say to yourselves: "Fuck this bullshit, Buddha can follow my brown ass to the Bahamas." Pick up whatever meagre belongings your have and get the fuck out. You can leave the 'subsistence farming' weeds behind - they have far more useful and fun weeds in the Bahamas. Let the chinks have it, if they care about it so much as to pay for 90% of your measly needs. Let them pay to put in a trainline, let them make shitty knick-knacks for western tourists who believe they'll find a soul on the side of an asian hill. Let them sit on acute angles in snow and ice.
Let the fuckers have it, and go somewhere else. You seem like peaceful, quiet people. You pretty much own the whole Buddhism franchise, I'm sure you can sell some of that around and make a real nice living out of it on the west coast of the U.S. at the very least.
If you can cut me in on a little of the deal for my helpful and productive advice, that'd be tops.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-04-12 05:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would totally fuck Tibet like the little Buddha rock loving trollop she is, but alas, my heart is promised to another.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-04-12 02:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-04-11 19:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-11 17:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking fantastic.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, whatever happens happens. I can sleep well at night knowing that I've done my share.
I ATTENDED THE TIBETAN FREEDOM CONCERT BACK IN 1998. MY ATTENDANCE MADE A DIFFERENCE.
Feel free to thank me any time you want, Tibet. Oh right, you won't because you're a fucking ingrate.
Stupid Tibet. I hope it gets beaten to death with its own shoes.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-04-11 09:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe me you dont want to be fucking a tibetan, their goats are far more attractive.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-11 09:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the bahamas are just as big a shithole, and tibet has everest, but besides those two minor issues im right with you on this one.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-11 03:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wasnt this a Tintin adventure?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-11 02:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was good.
Submitted by FosterFoskin (user info) at 2008-04-11 00:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The Tibetans can't play football. They don't have a flat enough piece of ground to play on. Besides, eating all those weeds and yak milk doesn't build boneheads big enough to play what you Americans (I refrained myself from using Yanks...not nice, no no!) call football.
In Britain, football is Soccer. In Australia, football is any of the 4 forms of it we play, but they are all a MAN's game. So there, fuck the Tibetans, and fuck American football too. Fair enough?
Oh yeah, the 4 footballs?
Aussie Rules, Rugby Union, Rugby League, and Soccer. Don't ask me what the different Rugby's are? Haven't got a clue. Both games are brutal though. Much more contact sport than gridiron.
Submitted by jimboruckus (user info) at 2008-04-11 00:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-04-10 21:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more football.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-10 21:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually scourge, ive been using this sort of style since i began here, which i believe was a few days before our massive-headed yank friend.
he plagiarises me.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So why on't the protesters fuck off so we can get on with the games?
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Because they have all these cool hemp pants, palestenian scarves and che T-shirts, what else can they do in an overpriced commercialized, yet "anti-capatalist", outfit like that (which they bought with their parents money)?
Besides protesting china is the social event of the season.
________________________
Best Indo review EVER...
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-10 13:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somewhere I'd heard that there are more Buddhist monks in California than there are in mainland China. They're making great money selling "feng shui" to the locals, so I'd say the Tibetans could make a real mint selling miniature bells and figurines to gullible homosexual interior designers. Plus they'd screw over China, who having nothing more productive to do, would probably go back to beating and murdering college students.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-10 12:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done.
this read like an apollo post. except minus the football. and jewess references. and most of the insults. and it was written fairly well. and all the words were really words.
if you take away all those things this read just like an apollo post.
you fucking plagiarist.
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Best review so far this year.
Good post, Id.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-10 11:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't remember what I'm rating, but I'm sure I loved it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buddha can follow my brown ass to the Bahamas
plus the reviews have said everything that i would have wanted to say.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, how timely of me!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done.
this read like an apollo post. except minus the football. and jewess references. and most of the insults. and it was written fairly well. and all the words were really words.
if you take away all those things this read just like an apollo post.
you fucking plagiarist.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-10 09:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So why on't the protesters fuck off so we can get on with the games?
-------------------
Because they have all these cool hemp pants, palestenian scarves and che T-shirts, what else can they do in an overpriced commercialized, yet "anti-capatalist", outfit like that (which they bought with their parents money)?
Besides protesting china is the social event of the season.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the place not of some manner of strategic importance against India or something?
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Just what I was going to say.
In most ways they are no worse off no than they were under the Dalai Lama ruling them. Of course since eastern religions are so fashionable among hollywood elite Tibet must be a huge humanitarian crisis.
Don't get me wrong, in a lot of ways they are getting a shit sandwich, but if china wasn't feeding it tot hem, someone else would.
If I am going to be assed out enough to protest china (which I am not, they don't care and it doesn't matter) it would be over their support of Sudan raping and killing anything that moves in the Sudan. but that was last years cause.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-04-10 07:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got to hear the Dali Lama speak. He made a good speech and said interesting things, but what I focused on oddly enough was how much his appearance reminded me of an Asiany version of Hunter S. Thompson in his later years.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 06:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to support the Tibetan cause, until I found out that the only reason anyone cares is because of the Dalai Lama, who is a massive cunt and wants the country back so he can re-instate the Lama ruling class of priests. China has actually done some good for the country in terms of education and equality.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the place not of some manner of strategic importance against India or something?
Submitted by theshadypeach (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The basis of your research was from wiki?
Actually, many exiles who were allowed back into Tibet admit that the government brought a lot of progress to the place, providing a lot of bare necessities unavailable beforehand, necessities that some argue may supercede the self-autonomy and rights transgressions at the moment. As you've mentioned there's not a lot of resources there, and its not a good investment, but the presence has brought some benefits (food rations, medical supplies, etc.).
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was funny watching Chinese flags fly on the streets of San Francisco today. It was like seeing 25 years into the future.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While we're fucking things, how about fuck the olympics?
Its just a steroid-fuelled, four-yearly advertising platform for cocksmiths.
Who really cares anymore?
I hope China get all Sino hard arse on all the 'athletes' (corporate billboards) and lock them all up. That's a some human rights abuse I'd watch for 12 hours a day.
And while we're at it, fuck australia - an entire national culture built on who can swim fastest.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's all silly. what i like most are the chinese throwing indignation at the tibetans. it's like when you grab your brother's arm, smack him in the face with it, and taunt him by saying, "why are you hitting yourself?"
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-04-10 05:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's the way i see it. Either;
1) Protesters ruin the Olympics, and China does nothing.
or
2) Protesters DON'T ruin the Olympics, and China does nothing.
So why on't the protesters fuck off so we can get on with the games?
Submitted by bjrog2 (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We share very similar opinions on this issue iddqd. I'd give my two-cents, but cant be fucked honestly
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's probably English, Id, or some manner of derivative like scottish or something.
Seriously though, I don't get why the Chinese haven't moved the Tibetans. Throughout history forced migration has been a proven method of dealing with this sort of problem and it's far less messy than genocide.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps whose alter are you?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and you must be american.
ooo burn.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm struggling to work out whether or not you are:
a. almost intelligent
b. just another antipodean asshat
c. borderline autistic coupled with delusions of your own superiority.
Given the evidence available, b. looks the clear winner.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-10 04:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree wholeheartedly.