BULLETIN: Mrs. Shlongy Dead; Shlongy Moves on With Life (4701 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.09 on 337 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by A-ListerShlongy (View user info) at 2008-06-02 20:37:39 EDT
Yes...It finally happened.
All of my wise-ass comments and reviews on Ubersite finally caught up to me. An Uber asshole took it ALL much too seriously.
Someone actually came by my house in South Carolina and did a "Drive-By" - I even think they were playing some "NWA" when they drove by in their late model Cadillac Escalade with the spinning chrome wheels. I saw them cruise by but didn't think anything of it because no one on Uber, with the exception of Apollo and ESPECIALLY the Uber women, actually looks anything like their camwhores. I figured it was just our mailman, who I THINK is in with "The Crips".
They even spray-painted "Shlongy blows" on my front door when I wasn't paying attention - I think I was busy smoking and drinking over the last 48 hours or so - but I didn't notice that because I very rarely use the front door. Oh, and because that's something my neighbors do on a bi-monthly basis so it didn't register.
Anyway, after a couple of days of not seeing Mrs. Shlongy around, I finally took a walk around the house and there I found her body, decomposing on the side of the house next to the Recycle Bin.
I actually thought about tossing her body INTO the Recycle container but then how would I lift that?
So anyway, I called Domino's Pizza for a delivery. Then, I called my bookie and bet a few hundred on the A's.
Then, I called the police.
The corner arrived and asked me a bunch of silly questions...name (Shlongy, of course, you fucking dipshit), age, occupation, who I liked in The Belmont, and why I didn't call the police earlier, since it was obvious that Mrs. Shlongy had been lying there for a few days, based on the grass clippings that covered her body. I guess the landscapers (goddamn illegals) just mowed around her body last week when they cut the lawn.
So I am in deep mourning. I'd been with the woman on/off for almost 26 years, not counting the two separate times that we couldn't stand the sight of each other for three years at a time during the last two and a half decades.
About thirty minutes after they carted away her body with a warning to "not leave the county without letting the authorities know", I decided to drive on over to Savannah for some lunch and a few beers and vodkas.
You CANNOT drink scotch in times like this.
As usual, it didn't take Shlongy much more than 5 minutes before he had a broad in his lap and NO, I did not pay for it. I DID pay for a bunch of drinks, as usual, since the broad in question ordered a Bloody Mary, took one sip of that (after I told her NOT to order a Bloody Mary on an 80 degree day) and made me RE-order her a different drink. Fucking women.
To make a long story short, but not any more exciting or interesting, I think we're getting married. She moves in next week and YES, we will be keeping separate checking and savings accounts, since I have about 500+k in the bank and from what I can gather, she has $114.
I actually forgot her name but I know she's coming to SC to move in, since she won't stop emailing me, although she refuses to sign her name on the emails. I kind of forgot that part. A minor inconvenience.
All I know is that I'm "gettin' some" and if you're reading this stupid post, there's a pretty good chance (93%) that you're not.
As far as the wedding is concerned, we'll be inviting some of our friends, teachers, bartenders, parole officers, current boyfriends, etc. and we have kicked around the idea of inviting some Uber folks, but I don't know. Most of you can't afford the gas to drive yourselves to your minimum-wage-paying jobs, much less pay for a trip to South Carolina AND be trusted to buy a very expensive gift for me.
I guess it's up to you.
In 20 words or less- with the emphasis on "less"- tell me why you deserve an invite to this "Wedding of The Year - Or, of Next Year".
And if you know this broad's name, try and email me BEFORE the wedding, will ya? It'll be semi-embarrassing when they get to that part about "Do you, Shlongy, take "so and so" to be your lawfully wedded shag piece" and I don't know who the fuck the guy in the collar is talking about.
I'm going to go read the Bible and pray now, and by Bible, I mean "Rolling Stone", and by "pray" I mean "take a crap.
THANKS FOR CARING.
User Reviews
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-01-06 16:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm going to go read the Bible and pray now, and by Bible, I mean "Rolling Stone.."
~~~~~~~~~
yep
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as your riding Shlongy Jr. hard, if it helps you get off calling me "Uncle", knock yourself out.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:41:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sage <3 Shlongy, aka my new step-daddy? Or should I just call you "Uncle Shlongy"?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:29:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny...I just left a review in some other post where I mentioned that I suck at Uber.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been 7 months since you posted this masterpiece. Isn't it about time you put down the sports illustrated, hauled your ass off your porcelain throne and posted something old man?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-12-10 20:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-12-10 20:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm uploading the video to Youtube minus the name, it's taking forever but I'll repost this piece of shit later so I can at least get it off the front page I suppose.
---
I'll have to wait for Youtube to process the video, but at least I'll get that off the front page somewhat soon.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-12-10 20:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel somewhat badly about posting a link to a real name, sorry about that. I'm not going to and can't really do anything about it, but if you email your friend and ask him to edit your name out of the title, it can be done. It's not like uber where you cannot edit anything once it's posted.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-02 16:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I was leaning toward...
"Your chance to punch Shlongy in the nuts" or
"Win a date With Shlongy"
But I also need some kind of a story to keep Uber's interest.
It's not like I can just flash my rack and get 3500 hits.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-02 15:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Work in an old song title. Maybe:
Do You Remember Rock N Roll Radio?
or
Teenage Lobotomy
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-12-02 15:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-02 14:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes...I actually have a nice, new camwhore ready for action.
I just need a post "topic" and a EYE CATCHING title, to guarantee my customary 4000 hits.
THAT'S the challenging part.
------
Just mention shlongy. Guaranteed 4K.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-02 14:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes...I actually have a nice, new camwhore ready for action.
I just need a post "topic" and a EYE CATCHING title, to guarantee my customary 4000 hits.
THAT'S the challenging part.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-12-02 14:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's now been 6 months since you posted this. Isn't it time for the bi-annual masterpiece?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't have his email address, you fucking retards. I do now.
Unlike you two fucking donkeys, Shlongy doesn't spend all day exchanging emails with everyone that has, at one time, paid attention to him/her on Uber.
I'm gonna guess: Method has 72 addresses from Uber tards, and rob has 23.
I think I have 5.
HOW CLOSE DID I COME HERE?
And now you've given Shlongy an idea for my bi-annual post. THANKS!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's important to Shlongy that he lets the rest of us nerds see evidence that he actually steps away from the computer from time to time.
It can't be "SHOW ME YOUR HOLE" or "YOU SUCK" all the time... a guys gotta recharge.
Good luck you crazy little munchkin.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-11-16 13:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They have this new invention called "email", you should look into it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:11:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That will be the Friday spot after the Scorgies reunion show at the German House. It's my buddy's bar. I'll email you tomorrow.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Over on Liberty Pole. Haven't been there yet, but have some friends who rave about it. They've apprently been booking some great local acts. I need to check it out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will do. I'll shoot you the itinerary tomorrow. You ever been to Abilene's yet?
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Email me - capote777.at.yahoo.com - and let me know your itinerary. I'm in Chicago until Wednesday night, but if you're out and about in the city after that, I'll find my way out for a cocktail or ten.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-15 20:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Badlands...How do I get in touch with you?
I'm in Roch next week for the Scorgies reunion show.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-11-15 20:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-11-15 19:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i just played bethpage again yesterday. that place makes no sense. 31 dollars for a round? Do they realize they could easily charge 150 and people would be happy to pay it? What a fucking awesome place. When I die I want to go to bethpage.
------------
Fuck the Black. I've played it 5 times in my life. Never shot better than 91...and I'm an 11. Fucking long with unforgiving rough. Fuck the Black. (gorgeous course, though...and very adult pours in the bar).
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-15 19:51:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You lucky fucker.
I've never played any of the courses at Bethpage but I DID just enter the Golf Digest contest yesterday, to play in the celebrity foursome right before the next Open at the Black.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-11-15 19:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i just played bethpage again yesterday. that place makes no sense. 31 dollars for a round? Do they realize they could easily charge 150 and people would be happy to pay it? What a fucking awesome place. When I die I want to go to bethpage.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-15 19:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree 100% w/Joe Daddy.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-11-14 17:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck'm if they don't have a hole...
in the proper location, of course
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-11-14 17:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
14-3 and 1 baby boy!
seems that this year everyone want me to share my ST's
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-14 16:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you stick with the ones that I recommended, it ain't bad...considering it's 27 years old.
I'll recommend a few more, if I have to.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-11-14 15:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause I just downloaded some of your music and it's pretty fucking decent.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-10 18:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And, more importantly, who the fuck is Schladecaster???
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-11-10 18:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is Schlongy?
Submitted by Shadecaster (user info) at 2008-11-10 18:29:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And I thought Schlongy was ungly! LOL!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-07 07:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know if it "jumped the shark" but I was laughing out loud...a lot.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-11-06 23:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me, or did I just witness It's Always Sunny jump the shark?
Submitted by elkay94 (user info) at 2008-11-05 18:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll follow my Alter, Bugblender.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-04 17:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-11-02 08:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've only receive -2's from this fag.
And I aint parking cars at any of his event any more.
Do your posts REALLY deserve better than a -2?
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-11-02 08:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've only receive -2's from this fag.
And I aint parking cars at any of his event any more.
Submitted by RestrictionsApply (user info) at 2008-10-21 11:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-17 18:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last good post on Uber, according to the authority below:
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-10-17 17:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The last good post on this site was June 02, 2008. Its amazing anyone comes here anymore.
Also, review number 300 on this gem.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking bosh
hey steal me that PBR sign and mail it to me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I was one of those fags who used the "LOL" because if I did, I'd use it to respond to the pudlicker who just reviewed this post.
ROFLCOPTER@#$&^%#@$^($%$%&*(#&*()
Submitted by Kerblotto (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tired and by tired I mean this sentence construction gets old.
Submitted by Kerblotto (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-15 17:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's so weird that you stopped by today, MsFist.
Not more than 48 hours ago, I spent some time in your "Uber body of work" wondering where the fuck you disappeared to.
Then, I wacked off to that picture of you and electro.
What's been happening? Divorced yet, so we can "do it"?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-15 15:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How is my favorite Ubersite dipshit these days? Still tossing that little bitch Apollo's salad?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 20:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always liked the name "Munkeypants".
It always seemed to me like there was a party going on in her panties.
I CAN'T HELP THAT.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woody harrelson?
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2008-08-06 21:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're so cool getting girls from the in'net.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Either / or.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You want the entire list or just today's problems?
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wtf is your problem?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-27 09:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you misheard her...she said that HER rack was fake.
Well, I guess you'll have to let me go motorboat on you.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2008-07-26 22:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to off her...
She called my boobs fake.
Glad to see you've moved on darlin!!!!
Submitted by Shadecaster (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like there's a wedding to crash.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-07-19 07:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All your bitches are dogs. Or men.
And you said once that you didn't like ANY fiction, you liar.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2008-07-19 06:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For fucks sake man ,, i never thought you would clean up so good..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-30 17:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Glenn's mommy must have given him back his computer priveleges...
NOW BE A GOOD LITTLE BOY THIS TIME, GLENN, OR YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY WILL BE FORCED TO SPANK YOUR LITTLE PEE PEE, AGAIN.
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-06-30 15:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, you SO suck and the bitch in this photo looks like USMC material. Does Shlongy love the cock? Ooh RAH!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-25 22:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit...Well, this will certainly be a meeting of A-Listers.
We'll be there for the 20th Annual Squeezer Open. 12 dorks-a-golfing.
Well, 11, excluding Shlongy.
Your buddy nitty will be there, too. He's "hosting" this year.
It was the only way we'd let him return for a 4th year.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-25 21:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh man,
that's going to be awesome.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-25 21:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's it! myrtle beach!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-25 21:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus H...It sounds like you're going to Myrtle Beach, too.
We'll be there at the same time...I never say this but I'll make an exception in this case: LOL
Email me when you get your dates/location together...This will be hilarious.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-25 19:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure yet, someone else is arranging it, i think it might be first week in Oct but I'll check.
I don't even know where we are going, some place where there's lots of titty bars apparently.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-25 00:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a good fruit picker. I can also make a mean meatball.
If Apollo is coming to South Carolina, does that mean we can have a CON?
Brendan's coming here next summer, Schlongy. Prepare your liver now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-24 18:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilton Head Island, SOUTH Carolina, son.
That'd be great...I hope you're not here the week we go play in The Squeezer Open, though. We're actually in Myrtle Beach the first week-weekend in October.
Dates?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-24 17:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shlong,
Me and a few mates are going on a golf weekend to South Carolina in October.
I can never remember are you NC or SC?
Either way if you fancy a round and a few beers let me know.
Cheers,
Enormo.
Submitted by cordelia (user info) at 2008-06-24 11:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-22 16:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF is with the shit job market in this fucking state?!?!
It's not really much worse than in any other state....For example, do you know how to pick fruit or mow a lawn? There's PLENTY of jobs around here.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I love nothing more than having 2 Shlongy posts on every front page. Totally devoid of content and sitting on over 300 reviews, 60% of which are his, 100% of which about how great you have to be to write 40,000 reviews in under 4 years.
How is this "devoid of content"?
There's a story...there's a picture...there's an invitation...what more do you want, shithead?
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 04:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow . someones got their cock stuck in a roo
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I love nothing more than having 2 Shlongy posts on every front page. Totally devoid of content and sitting on over 300 reviews, 60% of which are his, 100% of which about how great you have to be to write 40,000 reviews in under 4 years.
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey this is fantastic
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-22 22:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will take pictures of all the naked bridesmaids while they are tripping into an orgy with me...and share.
(20)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-22 17:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-05 12:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
150 more visits and I'll have 300,000 hits, which I will use to trade in for the "Croquet Set" on page 31 of the Uber Hit Redemption Catalog.
------
Reviews like this is why Shlongy is so famous!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-22 16:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF is with the shit job market in this fucking state?!?!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-19 14:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops, forgot to rate
fatty.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-12 09:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Huh.
I'm just surprised you had time to respond in between meals.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-12 09:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture is deceiving because I am a flatbelly. Ask all the Uber chicks.
I have no idea why every other picture I take I look like a fatass. Must be the lighting.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-12 09:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like this:
Study for final, ask for a blowjob, rejected, study more, ask again, somehow accepted, more studying, need break, hope uber will entertain, instead thoroughly disturbed by old red guy with gut, study, head rub, sleep.
Pretty soon you won't even need belts at the pace your belly is expanding.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-12 08:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are you morons on Uber at 2am?
How does that work for you?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-12 02:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're so...so red.
Submitted by Mud (user info) at 2008-06-12 02:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
me first, then do phallic
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-12 02:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should respond to this review about 5 times and call me a dipshit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-11 20:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=16436881
HAMMERHEAD FOR EVERYONE..ON SHLONGY!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-06-11 19:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Keep up the fine work Shlongy_Berg
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The BIG difference is that when people review MY posts, they WANT Shlongy to respond to them, shitforbrains.
And I don't cut n' paste their review before I do so.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-06-11 14:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My oh MY - just look at how many times you commented on your own post.
How very 'Rob Berg'.
Good for you, buddy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-10 21:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hot Uber broads immediately below
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-10 20:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK...I tried again...from a different account.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-06-10 19:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and no it wasn't to a .com address
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-06-10 19:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't get it and it seems you didn't get mine. Let's try again.
manicmother1.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-10 19:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Obviously not, or I would have replied.
I was going to ask YOU the same thing. Sounds like you DID get mine.
I emailed you what...a week ago?
Make SURE you have the address right....it's NOT ".com".
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-06-10 19:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you get my e-mail or what?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-10 19:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Done...But I didn't attach any sexy pictures of me this time, if you don't mind.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-10 18:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo...e-mail me.
Patscheerlder.at.aol.com
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-09 11:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DEAD POST.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-06 00:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While I thank you for the +2, I have to ask...what the fuck are you talking about?
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-05 21:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JESUS CHRIST
DO YOU HAVE A PUSSY OR SOMETHING
VERBAL RESPONSE ONLY PLEASE
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-05 16:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In your dreams, faggoteer.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-05 16:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One more post on the front page and this piece of shit is GONE.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-05 15:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEAT
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-05 12:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
150 more visits and I'll have 300,000 hits, which I will use to trade in for the "Croquet Set" on page 31 of the Uber Hit Redemption Catalog.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-06-05 10:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2008-06-05 02:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I saw a girl on the train today.
I had seen her before, but she had never noticed me because I'm a creepy, middle aged ginger homosexual with a pink scarf"
The car was crowded. I was sitting and holding a paperback novel and she was standing in front on me."
------------------------------------
I would read that
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-04 22:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
13 goals 14 assists, I think Zetterberg gets the Conn Smythe
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-04 22:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this time we'll get the cup! What a fucking awesome goal with the goal tender butting it in.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 22:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boy. This sure died quickly.
Maybe I'll quit Uber, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH SO WHAT LINE ARE WE GOING TO WALK, SHLONGY?
THE REAL ONE OR THE FAKE ONE?
CAN'T DISTINGUISH UBERSITE FROM REALITY, CAN YOU?
You go out of your way to piss me off, Shlongy and you do it daily. Then you have the nerve to send me your address in SC, your employer's address, your PHONE NUMBER and your WIFE'S FULL NAME????
What a fucking lying nutcase.
Whoever is emailing oathmeal- if there really IS someone doing so, and that's doubtful - knock it off before "Mr. Snappo" goes postal on me and the entire island down here.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here oathy....here boy....SIT. SPEAK. ROLL OVER.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-04 15:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GODDAMNIT I almost had him.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 15:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That doesn't sound so bad.
I mean, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU HOMO.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-04 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just put in the tip and then pull it out really quickly.
500 times.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 15:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ummmmm...I think I'll pass on that offer, "Thanks".
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-04 14:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll pretend I'm a woman for a few minutes.
Close your eyes and let me work my magic.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 14:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish that more Uber broads would swing by this post...instead of the group of "D-Listers" that have seemingly set up shop here.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-04 14:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo/Method below..
:D
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-04 13:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post smells lemony.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 11:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you liked the text, the post was even more magnificent, if you ask me.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-06-04 11:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only read the text that was part of the picture so I'll rate that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 10:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not bad, eh?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-06-04 10:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe YOU should take over the Jack McCallum account.
You nailed it.
Next time, do a Shlongy post for me. It's not that difficult.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can just imagine what goes on in those fucking emails between Bubba and Jack
------------------------
Jack: I have a great idea! Let's both use the Charlton_H alter to really confuse people! That way, when people say it's me, I can deny it and not be lying!
Bubba: Oh man that is a GREAT idea!!!! Those ASSHEADS wont know what hit them! STUPID JERKS won't be able to sleep at night, trying to figure out who it REALLY IS!!!
Jack: I'm so glad I'm over 40 and single, without a steady career, It's great having so much time to post my quality novels on a wannabe meme site like uber
Bubba: And I'm glad I'm over 60 and fired from my day job 12 days before retiring because I would come into work all wild eyed, with my hair all disheveled, belligerent and babbling incoherently, frightening the customers
Jack: Yeah, lifes great
Bubba: Yeah. Hey, let's make out. I'll pretend to be my underage niece Sadie, and you can pretend you're Ron Weasley
Jack: Sure thing, let me just put the finishing touches on my latest masterpiece. What do you think of this
"I saw a girl on the train today.
I had seen her before, but she had never noticed me because I'm a creepy, middle aged ginger homosexual with a pink scarf"
The car was crowded. I was sitting and holding a paperback novel and she was standing in front on me."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 07:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Crowbarred"....Buahahahahahahahah classic
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything was going fine till the old cringe-master Bubba crowbared his way into the reviews.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Savannah... river street...alcohol... slutty slutty SCAD bitches.. can't beat that
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you think bubba's going to end up on the news?
i do.
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A 'recycle bin' is not a Proper Noun, DoucheBag. YoU SUCK.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-06-03 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 22:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't come here to hone my writing skills, you tard. what d'ya think this is? a serious writers forum? frikken cuntdrip.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Earl, you have the writing talent of a retard. Bitch.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
showed me my ass?
i s'pose i should be thankful i'm not a 7-yr-old boy.
or your grandson
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep slobbering, Earl. I showed you your ass for not being able to write properly, so
EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu grandalf, you unemployed sack o' shit!
aren't there some teenagers you should be grooming... fucking 2 bit pedo.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey shlongy, are you not yet at the point where you'd rather have michael j fox shave your nuts then read another bubba2341/sadie/charltonh review?
give it a couple more minutes...
=\==============
Not "then," dipshit. The word should be THAN!!!! My God you are STUPID!!!!!
FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey shlongy, are you not yet at the point where you'd rather have michael j fox shave your nuts then read another bubba2341/sadie/charltonh review?
give it a couple more minutes...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure...why not. But I'm still going to take my nap now.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was talking to the Uber politic, in general. Don't correct my spelling. But why is it "condecend," but "descend." No need to answer. I really don't care, and it's nap-time.
-------
Retard above.
Naps are weak. Nevertheless.... I mean it this time.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't really care WHO has the stupid alter these days.
I just know it burns Jack's ass every time I say that.
THAT MAKES IT ALL SO WORTH THE EFFORT.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm about to do the same...Only at this hour, we on the east coast don't call it a nap.
I stayed up WAY too late watching the hockey game that would never end last night.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, Shlongdude, here we go...... Read the crap about the Charlton post and you'll find that Jack gave that up a while back. Believe me, I know whereof I speak.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure...why not. But I'm still going to take my nap now.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was talking to the Uber politic, in general. Don't correct my spelling. But why is it "condecend," but "descend." No need to answer. I really don't care, and it's nap-time.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"pwned" is one of the gayest expressions ever.
I guess you aren't invited, JACK.
Remember, "No Homos".
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 20:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't like the taste of polyester, sorry
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Care to lick the barbecue sauce off the front of my shirt?
You can be third in line to do so.
PWNED SAYETH THE LORD
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 20:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 16:57:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my "you know who you are" post is nothing (literally) except young ones quotes in the reviews.
------------
Things are starting to make sense now.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 20:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i don't like the taste of polyester, sorry
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Care to lick the barbecue sauce off the front of my shirt?
You can be third in line to do so.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my "you know who you are" post is nothing (literally) except young ones quotes in the reviews.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 16:02:23 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:56:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha.
"In 20 words or less-"
Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.
---------
ha! another fan!
-----------------
I knew I'd find at least one around this place.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm quite certain you can flip yourself in four minutes or less...but i'll pass
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's have some cyber sex...I'm grilling chicken and burgers and have like 4 minutes before I have to flip anything.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:56:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha.
"In 20 words or less-"
Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.
---------
ha! another fan!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't feel bad about that...I've read it like 14 times and I keep laughing at it, too.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, Shlongy.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:47:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, Shnozy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy-posts are one of the few ways to bring hairycoo out of Uber retirement.
Still playing cards?
PS. Crystle - WHAT standards?
When I'm drinking, which is pretty much all the time...i HAVE no standards.
None that I could possible adhere to, anyway.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but I don't meet your standards, Shlongy!!
also... Hairycoo! Long time... when you flying over again?
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok i was amused
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You most certainly are.
So, do you want to have some real sex?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a real girl
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 18:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'll give you this much: That's certainly less than 20 words.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 17:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha.
"In 20 words or less-"
Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 17:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I mentioned that this party was "a good deal", I meant "a good deal for Shlongy".
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-03 17:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess shlong invited me, but I don't see how a 2 is worth an a pack of pro-v's
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-03 16:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet! I'm on the list, having received no less than three +2s from Shlongy. I'd bring a bottle of JW Blue but my friend who was traveling back from Afica couldn't be bothered to remember to pick it up in the Amsterdam Duty-Free and if I'm dropping $300 on a bottle of hooch I'm damn sure drinking at least half of it.
Also: I was in your area (I think) the other weekend, as it happens we stayed right in the middle of Spoleto at the hotel they made out of the Old Citadel. Very artsy, very fartsy. Brdn_Nkd would have been impressed with the mosaics and encouraged at how much rich idiots were dropping on them.
if i could just finish one. nearly there though and progress will continue tonight. i'm so close i can taste it. though grout doesn't taste all that good, especially with the additive in it.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SSS* below
Shit Stirrer Shlongy. :D
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY NOW- There will be no FIGHTING in my post.
Well, unless I'm involved.
We can start by having oathy eat shit.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut UP, Hadley. Fucking motor mouth.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, who does Shlongy hate this week?
==========
Silly Wabbit. Shlongy hates everybody!!
-----
STFU Bubba
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, who does Shlongy hate this week?
==========
Silly Wabbit. Shlongy hates everybody!!
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, who does Shlongy hate this week?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you like me.
ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
---
dandelions are my favorite flower.
i don't remember disliking you. it's good that you're keeping up with it for me. otherwise, how would i know?
____
I could provide a service. It's a new market, a new niche. I can keep track of peoples grudges for them.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, are you still gonna be unemployed soon?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 13:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wrote while drunk.
It's a crazy world...
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 13:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I reread this post while sober. Shlongy make funny.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-06-03 13:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheez-Its are AWESOME.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet! I'm on the list, having received no less than three +2s from Shlongy. I'd bring a bottle of JW Blue but my friend who was traveling back from Afica couldn't be bothered to remember to pick it up in the Amsterdam Duty-Free and if I'm dropping $300 on a bottle of hooch I'm damn sure drinking at least half of it.
Also: I was in your area (I think) the other weekend, as it happens we stayed right in the middle of Spoleto at the hotel they made out of the Old Citadel. Very artsy, very fartsy. Brdn_Nkd would have been impressed with the mosaics and encouraged at how much rich idiots were dropping on them.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola is an ugly lesbian creature.
Leave it alone -- when you instigate it, it likes to spew forth senseless emo gibberish.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations to you two adorable kids. I take it you're registered at Bass Pro Shops again, just like the last one?
PS I'm pretty sure her real name is Scotch. Or um. Vodka. Something like that.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you like me.
ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
---
dandelions are my favorite flower.
i don't remember disliking you. it's good that you're keeping up with it for me. otherwise, how would i know?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-06-03 11:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115857#2681920
I've got a taste for livin'.....
I'm drinkin cold Blue Ribbon....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 11:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
buhahahahahahahahah Orgasmo made a funny
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-03 11:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, it looks like Vern Troyer finally got his Make-A-Wish Foundation date with Dolores O'Riordan.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:03:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you like me.
ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ghola = isn't alone.
lol
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bosh- I want that sign, too.
It would look SWEET in the bedroom.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:16:53 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
ever since (TToM I think) posted about you & Freddy Krueger, that's all I can think of when I see your face.
It's creeping me out, honestly.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86191 A Shlongmare on Uberstreet
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking bosh
hey steal me that PBR sign and mail it to me.
I'm not a good golfer but I shot the best round of my life last weekend (84).
since i'll probably be broke after paying for gas to get to SC, all i can promise as a gift is maybe a 6 pack of PBR and any rolling stone issue from 2007, when i was a subscriber.
Actually i'll just make photo copies of it, i'm not parting with any of them.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ever since (TToM I think) posted about you & Freddy Krueger, that's all I can think of when I see your face.
It's creeping me out, honestly.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
102 here yesterday.
last summer wasn't so bad but this one is shaping up to be hotter than methods underpants.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you like me.
ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember that post, TTOM. I LOVED Shlongy, P.I.
Thought it merited a series.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-03 02:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's going to be 99 degrees here on Wednesday. Stock up on beer now. And crack your windows. :(
It's hotter than Toby's touchhole here, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-03 03:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well this was boring.
REALLY? Even more boring than your own last 14 posts?
Wow.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85200 is why i should attend.
Shit, for that I should be fucking best man.
...
Not FUCKING the best man but fucking best man.
Uh...
or something.
Plus I can bring Whisky. The real stuff, not the watered down crap most colonials produce.
PS Show us her hole
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
931 hits? The counter must be broken.
I'm getting bart on the dork phone immediately.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect.
AND I have gotten a bunch of +2's from you.
AND I can afford the Gas.
AND...I...Uhhh....am not a homo.
....And I like PBR?
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-03 08:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-06-03 07:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck yeah! i get an invite!
thanks for that +2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116502#2705005
--------
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya Gary?
Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-06-03 07:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck yeah! i get an invite!
thanks for that +2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116502#2705005
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-03 06:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A veritabe lolapalooza.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-03 05:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is Gola one of these people that has a long body and short legs?
She looks the sort.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
beastiality legal in SC?
joke.
it's nice that her being handicapped (blind) doesn't bother you
just don't let her "see you" with her fingers.
joke again!
congrats.
another joke, i could care less!
fuck, i'm rolling here
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-03 03:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well this was boring.
Submitted by kristy (user info) at 2008-06-03 03:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Great.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-06-03 02:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-03 02:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's going to be 99 degrees here on Wednesday. Stock up on beer now. And crack your windows. :(
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-03 01:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Last night I watched an episode of Home Improvement where Tim bought Pistons season tickets. Jill didn't like the purchase thinking it too expensive so Tim started selling some to his friends.
One asked how they would share playoff tickets and I laughed and laughed and laughed.
In fact, I laughed all the way into commercial, so I never figured out how they split those.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Penguins FTW
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey pen_name: 18-1!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sonofabitch
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Shlongy - Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Wait for it.
Remember Zee Vedding Present.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe they are playing Relax at Joe Louis Arena right now
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well break out the little letters chart, because (s)he is a boy whose eaten too much hormone chicken to me.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and this is about the same damn call
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny post and you guys are very cute, even if Shlongy has a pants boner.
Anybody who thinks ghola looks like a boy needs an eye test.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A lot has changed since I graduated from college, I see...
---
there was college in the mesozoic era?
ill be here all week.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, that would have been a good call but it wasn't made, the call was after the first shot in that series of 3 shots.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They escaped that mess...there will be more calls in OT as these guys get tired.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which was the bs call...the one where the detroit player was kicking the goalie with his skate?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bullshit call by the nhl who wants this to go 7 games
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
should have been game over right there
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This feels like a boxing match
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-02 23:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuckin' d'backs