WLGF: Box (950 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.89 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ballare (View user info) at 2008-06-27 17:07:22 EDT
A man in a brown shirt brought it to the door, two hours ago. Knock, knock, oh hello. Here is a box for you.
I took it. I wrote on his piece of paper, and brought it inside. It didn't move, didn't make a sound, and I didn't want to rip the brown paper to open it so I put it on the table and went downstairs to find the old photographs my father took when my brother and I were kids.
"Let me out."
It didn't start to talk, not right away, but after I brought up the brown folder full of pictures and sat at the table with them, looking at them, it started to complain.
A blurry shot of my old sweater, a dribbling white stain all down the front. It said, "Hey! Hey."
Thomas, on his knees next to his old tricycle, a hand on his shoulder and half a man, his left side all cut off. It pleased, "Let me out! I want to see them, too." And I shook the box and said loudly, "No."
The two of us, heads pressed together, smiling hard for the camera, a tall dinosaur behind us. The box whined, "Please? Let me out."
I frowned, and stood up, pushing the box off the table where it fell to the ground. "No!" I said again and threw all the pictures back at the floor.
I stood there for a minute, and then felt bad and picked up the box again. I put it back on the tabletop, but told it that it wasn't to talk any more or I will throw it out into the dumpster.
"Not the dumpster!" The box hollered, and I shook it and heard it rattle. "Please stop that." It asked.
I took the box outside and stood on my tip-toes to put it in the big green dumpster. A piece of gum stuck to my shoe, and I took my shoe off and put that in the dumpster, too. When I turned to go back inside, I heard the box calling for me to come back.
As I slammed the screen door closed, I shouted, "Shut up, Mother!"
User Reviews
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-07-01 13:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A blurry shot of my old sweater, a dribbling white stain all down the front.
Way to go Monica.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-30 23:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES, YES.
Submitted by The-Armed-Samurai (user info) at 2008-06-30 14:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-30 11:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-30 03:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-27 11:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If I wanted to read pre-pubescent level bullshit, I'd read a ghola post.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-29 21:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I think ghola's mother might have been insane/died when she was an infant - mothers and children seem to have some kind of special significance.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-06-29 12:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It would be awesome if someone came to my door with a box of weed and whiskey right now.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-29 09:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mother= ghola staple.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-28 17:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:09:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BUBBA!! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR SHITTY HATE REVIEWS ON MY BEAUTIFUL POST
COCK.
=====
I didn't read this, I prefer when you write like Ballare, but this made me giggle.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2008-06-28 14:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more ponytail
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-28 14:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-28 14:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to agree with HBTS.
The only question I have been asking myself about this whole WLG shit is 'why?'
Circle seems to have answered that point of this post.
Mostly I think it's people sucking up to someone purely because the Shlongmyster thinks she's cool.
Still, at least she doesn't get all bent out of shape over it.
It's pretty embarrassing to watch (in my opinion) all these people trying to emulate mediocre writing.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-28 12:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117389#2734870
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-28 08:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good morning, dearie.
:)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 01:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's not morning for me yet.
but good night to you.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 01:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would say so yes.
I think I might finally be able to get some sleep.
Good evening, or really good morning for both of us.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 01:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, then that's just the flat-out wrong place to look for art historical references, isn't it?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 01:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba uses dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/beuysian
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 01:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just......one.......more........thing:
-------------------------------------
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 19:08:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No results found for beuysian.
heh.
=========
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4RNWN_enUS278US279&q=beuysian
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if all reviews are pictures
and bubba a dead hare
it's really pointless to explain, isn't it?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd hope to not be on uber once i'm bubba's age to be honest.
By that i mean I hope to be retired, I don't plan to spend my entire life working only to come out at the end with nothing to show for it.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles is a little shit high school kid.
But I'm sure he'll grow up to be a fine asshole some day like his Uncle Bubba.
Okay, experima, I checked you out.
Which one?
There's a bunch of them.
If you weren't talking about Germans then I don't know what you meant, either. :(
I would hate to be as stupid as Bubba.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I am amazed, and know not what to say."
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That really didn't make much sense in context at all did it? Really I just need sleep, yet it eludes me at the moment.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've taken to using this to be ble ot keep up with all the new reviews. It makes keeping up with conversations much easier.
http://www.ubersite.com/test2.html
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's okay, doodles. better to say so than to hurl rocks and call names like a spoilt child.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get it either. However, I'm fine with admitting that.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, pml, you're in the right ballpark but i'm afraid it's a bit more specific than that darling.
you can just email me if you are who they say you are.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA experima.
Beuys was a pacifist, I thought.
Feuerbachian, perhaps?
Sorry I got Bubba all riled up all over your 'beautiful' post, Ballare.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-28 00:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BUBBA!! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR SHITTY HATE REVIEWS ON MY BEAUTIFUL POST
COCK.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, indeed, apollo.
i don't tend to respond to drunks who call me twat, bubba. it's deliciously devilish in its wit, if you understand the reference, though.
too bad the only education you have is that 9th grade english class you throw in everyone's face.
and though you may think calling for the death of people on a website is quite cosmopolitan or worldly, it is just wrong to most of the world.
as is spelling humour without a "u."
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba is starting to wear thin with even the nice people on here.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU LYING TWAT!! It don't mean nuthin. Show me!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not an academician. Imo go to bed, I is drunk. Bye bye.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's cute you googled it though
i'm sure you thought if you only understood it, you'd have something smart to say about it
sorry for your trouble though
i was certain you didn't care what i thought of you
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a term only those in certain circles of academe would understand.
heh, indeed.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No results found for beuysian.
heh.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 22:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my god, it's almost beuysian
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I lost it long ago. I'm ALMOST done here.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, you're losing it. I think you fried a couple of microchips.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cool. You have no sense, let alone one of HUMOR---< spelled correctly.
kiss my skinny white ass. I don't care what you think, bitch.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117387#2734689
If someone would put that on Uberboard I'll be their friend.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and it's charming how you insult anyone who disagrees with you in the slightest, or those who find paymelater's comments amusing at your expense.
"it's called a sense of humour, you should get one, they're nice."
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you think everybody's willie.
i'm not willie, just a willie fan.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 21:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Experima claims to be a female. I think he\she is a Willie. Just my opinion. . .
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
re: hotwillie being banned
-------
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-05-31 12:41:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-31 12:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you miss him?
aren't you pleased?
..............
Yes.
No.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA
That's one of Bubba's alters below trying to fix this 'contest.'
Jesus that's funny.
----------------
Jesus, Willie, you're such a shithead. I don't care WHO WINS!!!!!!!!!
As long as you get killed by ANYONE... Fuckhead!!!!
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Bubba sees every post as a contest of some sort.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't think this was a contest. If I had only known, I would have come up with my A material.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But that's pretty hilarious, you have to admit.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i <3 ballare
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey dude, that's Bubba.
He wants the other guy to win this contest.
Is this even a contest?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
billrhine, what did I ever do to you
:(
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA
That's one of Bubba's alters below trying to fix this 'contest.'
Jesus that's funny.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2008-06-27 20:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Colse, but no giggar.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-06-27 19:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-27 17:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we have a winner!!!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-06-27 19:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 18:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-27 18:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A winner? I don't think so. I think Kaos_King had the best so far. This is, however, a +1.5.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-27 17:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we have a winner!!!
Well, I mean, there was no contest... but still.