Worm Jerky (421 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: -1 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nick (View user info) at 2008-07-15 08:18:03 EDT
One of the things I look forward to each day is taking our dogs Ben and China for walks. China is a fourteen-year-old Shih Tzu (pronounced "shit zoo") and Ben is a thirteen-year-old Yorkie (pronounced "your key"). Waking up is easy each morning because as soon as I open our bedroom door I get this huge hero's welcome, both of them standing side-by-side, tails wagging frantically as if to say, "It sure is great to see you!" What they are really thinking is, "It's about time you got up. We've got some serious business to take care of outside."
China is in great health and so is Ben with the exception of major cataracts and being seriously hearing impaired.
Our walks used to be routine until this afternoon. A pair of Mexican Mockingbirds (a.k.a. Tequila Mockingbirds) decided to build a nest in the oak tree in our front yard. Judging by their behavior, we think they are in the family way.
As Ben trotted down the sidewalk checking for worm jerky, Jose and Maria started squawking and dive bombing, coming within inches of him. Ben of course was oblivious not being able to hear or see them. What happened next was amazing. I wish I had my camera.
After numerous attempts to get Ben to leave their territory, the birds flew to a nearby mailbox and I swear, it looked like they were talking to each other. I could almost hear Jose saying, "Hey, what's up with that Yorkie?" and Maria replying, "I don't know. Doesn't he get it?"
Oh yeah. Worm jerky. Ben has acquired a taste for worms that, how can I say it, have reached a state of dehydration that resembles what you might find on the counter of a 7-11, only curlier.
User Reviews
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-07-18 06:12:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
For a second the title led me to believe there would be a picture of a chinese man with a small dick wanking. Fuck that's unsettling.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-15 11:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE, NICK!
I would have rated higher if you had described their shit in a bit more detail.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-15 11:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you were getting better, and now this?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-15 11:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Ben is a thirteen-year-old Yorkie (pronounced "your key")."
Are we supposed to be fucking retards?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i eat dogs
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go stab your own hole
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had it on authority from a Crufts class breeder, 'Shy - sue' is the preferred pronunciation.
What is this shit anyway?
Submitted by Harmon (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You might just be the most boring motherfucker on the planet.
I haven't actually met EVERYONE yet, but I'm pretty confident about that statement nonetheless.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dont go asking for miracles, you crazy cat.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now if only you could write them, EI.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-15 10:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You write really well but not all user ubers are as retarted as Australians, we know how to pronounce words properly.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-15 09:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-15 08:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't get passed you telling me how to pronounce dog species
hahaha
passed != past
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-15 08:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stopped at shit zoo - spastic.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-15 08:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-15 08:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Little dogs are gayer than the gayest cat. Two little dogs are gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys (stolen joke there). Your key to the shit zoo, indeed.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-15 08:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't get passed you telling me how to pronounce dog species