Go outside right now and take a picture (893 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.56 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2008-07-17 16:21:07 EDT
I did. It wasn't very interesting. The picture wasn't interesting either. A double-tap of Fail to the forehead.
So instead here's another outside shot I took. Just not today. I'm sure you understand.
Besides, maybe it was today. You don't know. Maybe I was lying at the beginning of the post. Maybe I'm lying now. Maybe I've been outside all day and therefore it was impossible for me to "go outside." Maybe we should be thankful that we all have "insides" to stay in all day. Walls and ceilings are really underrated. Consider, if you will, what life would be like with no more office buildings. Oh office jobs would still exist, we'd just do them outside without walls around us. Think of the sunburns and the sweat-stink. Think of office chairs + hills, and the accidents, the skin-bust bones and the adrenaline rush. Oh and we'd all be nude, too. No more shelter for our bodies. Clothing is just a wall. Sacrifices must be made. A country full of naked office workers, sitting at little desk-islands on concrete and grass, flicking beetles off of our nipples and hoping that the falcons don't come diving down again. That the bears don't come back to sniff out the comptroller's honey stash. Could you take your boss seriously if he or she was trying to reprimand you in the nude? Could you concentrate on your important spreadsheets while ants crawled over your hangdown? "Oh, the 2pm meeting? Yeah I gotta go take a shit behind that pine tree...y'all start without me though." Would every office have its own shit pile? There would be no port-a-pots. Walls, you know. No good. "Hey, this is Fuddrucker employee shittin' territory, get your own bit of grass to pop a squat on." Think of the dead grass. Think of the animal smells on the wind. Outdoor laborers would keep their clothes, since they know the value of a good wall, of outside time vs. inside time. Consider the class friction, the shift. The hard hat Hanks and the bulldozer Bernies looking down at the nude savages with their computers and their desk trinkets and their stupid nameplates. Consider it, then maybe appreciate the walls you have after you come back from your little outside break. The walls are all that stand between us and dumping a few feet away from the watchful eye of our corporate neighbors, suffering hardware damage every time it rains, and really having a hard time trying to find a place to bang out the new office intern who just simply refuses to stop wearing those too-tight tops. The walls are all we've got.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-11 17:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
feety lee maxin' and relaxin' awri!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-27 06:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-02 11:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Virginia and VT.
GO DUKES!
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-02 11:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The suicide rate at UVA is well above the national average. Now we just need to get Tech up there, too.
_____
How tactless.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-18 10:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117683
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2008-07-17 19:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feety.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-07-17 18:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like this bandwagon. auto +2.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well that's ok. I'm a character.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, that's right.
I clearly see that he's "real".
It's YOU I hate.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was ready to auto -2 until I saw that fucking Feety character that I hate so much...and I laughed.
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He's not a character. As you can see in the attached image, he is a real boy.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feety!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Feety
GODDAMN YOU BART!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Feety looks pregnant.
How odd.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was ready to auto -2 until I saw that fucking Feety character that I hate so much...and I laughed.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nipple-tassles are easily bested by Vaghands and Penisfingers.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
piss that was supposed to read "in a world full of naked people the nipple tassled man is king." Sorry man.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In a world full of naked people nipple tasseled man is king.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
feety!!!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Feetus Alreetus Alrightus
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Note the natural curve of the seat. It's good to have support that works with your body.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
feety.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-07-17 16:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fee-teeeeee