Faggots don’t know how to eat pizza (1945 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.55 on 106 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-08-01 16:49:14 EDT
We had a pizza lunch at the Very Big Bank today celebrating some innocuous horseshit I've already forgotten, and during the lunch I was appalled by the way a faggot ate his slices.
Now, I just picked up my slices and chowed down, as did the other straight guy working here. It's good fuckin pizza. You don't fuck around with utensils and shit, you just grab it with both hands and eat. What does the faggot do? He takes a knife and fork and scrapes off all the cheese and sauce and veggies and meat, pushing them into a glistening ball, and then eats the ball, leaving two large pieces of crust on one side of his plate. He ultimately threw the crust in the garbage.
This pizza is from Goat Hill Pizza and in this town, since the west coast really doesn't know pizza from shit, it is harder and harder to find a pizza joint that actually makes their own crust. Sometimes when you take the time to ask if a pizza place make their own crust they will cheerfully lie and say yes, and when you get the pizza home and look at the bottom of the crust you can see it was machine-made, an atrocity. Who can eat that shit? I want home-made crusts. I want hand-tossed crusts. I want baked-in cigarette ash and fingerprints and knuckle hair.
The sanctity of the crust cannot be overstated. In 1953 there was a small riot when it was discovered that a Liberty Street pizza joint in Trenton, New Jersey was slipping machined crusts to loyal customers. Three people were killed and the state legislature eventually passed a law that no artificial crusts could be manufactured or distributed within the state.
Okay, that last paragraph isn't entirely true, but the sanctity of the crust really cannot be overstated. And when you find a pizza joint that makes their own crust (Goat Hill in the Portrero district is one, Victors on Polk Street is another) you have to protect and honor these noble institutions of culinary bliss.
The faggot didn't care. Oh, he cares about the hippest gym and the hottest dance mix and who's gonna hammer his spine on Saturday night (until his vertebrae are compressed and he can hardly walk, no surprise that San Francisco has a chiropractor on every block), but the creation of real pizza crust, made from scratch and hand tossed, who gives a fuck, right? Let's shitcan those icky carbs! And when you decide to build a house or a place of business, you ignorant ass-bandit, why waste money on a slab or foundation, why not just build as you please, right? The house will be perfect, right?
So two big slabs of lovely hand-tossed crust get tossed in the trash as if they were as palatable as the cardboard box holding the pizza. Fuckin faggot. If he had any brains he could have at least scrapped the topping onto his plate and left the crust behind to be enjoyed by a crustite.
The crust is sacred. The crust is the foundation. The crust is the beginning and the end.
That faggot was annoying. That pizza was damn good though.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just to further my point:
RACISTS/DISCRIMINATORY/ANTI-OBAMA(goes back to racist)ETC... POSTS BY JACK:
1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118305
2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118112
3. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118090
4. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117913
5. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117808
6. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117641
7. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117614
8. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117591
9. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117554
10. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117505
11. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117364 (the very fact that you LIKE scalia)
12. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117316
13. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117303
14. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117258
15. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117174
16. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117136
17. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117084
17 OUT OF YOUR LAST 40 POSTS.
you have issues.
Submitted by woolybob (user info) at 2008-08-06 03:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want home-made crusts. I want hand-tossed crusts. I want baked-in cigarette ash and fingerprints and knuckle hair.
I think I have to give this a -2 just cuz you want to eat knuckle hair...you sick fuck xo~~~~
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-05 09:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-05 00:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just wanted to remind you how bad this is.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-08-04 14:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Now, I just picked up my slices and chowed down, as did the other straight guy working here."
You work in a building full of fags & women, are yourself a closeted homo, and you still have the nerve to force this unfunny diatribe upon us?
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-08-04 14:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe he's one of the 100 people left in the world who didn't give up on Atkins and he CAN'T eat the crust. Ever think of that?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-04 12:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh and I'll put another 10 bucks down if you do manage to beat his ranking! Hilarious!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-04 12:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sarcasm, meet Mitch
Mitch, meet Sarcasm
If you get to know each other a little bit, I'm sure you'll get along just swimmingly!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't care what anyone says, the Boudin's sourdough bread I'm eating right now is awesome.
Submitted by mitchmarron (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, this was almost as fucking boring as the best selling Amazon book "Made in the U.S.A", by Jack McCallum
-----------------------------------
"Best selling" my ass.
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# Average Customer Review: No customer reviews yet. Be the first.
# Amazon.com Sales Rank: #3,659,233 in Books
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I'm going to do an experiment and submit a book to amazon entitled "480 blank pages" and see if I can beat that ranking.
5 bucks says I can.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to get out of San Francisco.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, this was almost as fucking boring as the best selling Amazon book "Made in the U.S.A", by Jack McCallum
http://www.amazon.com/Made-U-S-Jack-McCallum/dp/0738867764
By the way, Jack, you should change the description:
About the Author
Jack McCallum lives in California with his wife and their cats, where he is currently working on both a sequel and a prequel to Made in the U.S.A, as well as other projects.
Free Stuff Alert! To read other samples of Jack McCallum´s work follow this link to the Realm of Redheads, where you can read ten short stories and an entire novella, written under the pen name ´Rufus.´
----
It should read:
About the Author
Jack McCallum lives in California with his 30 cats and the stuffed corpse of his ex wife, where he is currently working on both a sequel and a special hands-free catnip fueled mechanism that will allow his cats to rub their genitals on his face without any additional coaxing
Submitted by mitchmarron (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you were trying to be serious with that post, let me break it down:
You have a problem with how someone else is eating their meal, which has no impact on you, yet you are *grrrrrr* angry.
Conclusion: the problem is you. Get over it and stfu.
If you were trying to be funny with that post, let me break it down:
You weren't.
Conclusion: the problem is you, and your lack of humor.
Aren't you like a ("self-proclaimed") novelist??
wow. good luck with that.
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-08-04 11:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-08-03 18:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe some morons here would rather hear about Caul's dick sucking episodes.
===
based on the number of times you bring this up, i assume you're one of them.
____
Hahahahhahahahhah
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-03 18:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this a joke? Like haha, I'm going to write a bad story for fun?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-08-03 18:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe some morons here would rather hear about Caul's dick sucking episodes.
===
based on the number of times you bring this up, i assume you're one of them.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-03 17:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's still felch central on Polk, but a few streets down. Near Cal and Sac streets not at all.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe some morons here would rather hear about Caul's dick sucking episodes.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate pizza
and i hate your rants about your sad uninteresting existence
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Blue Oyster Cult rocks!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks for the word, Jack. Dunno how it is now, but when I left the area (in 1986) the last place I'd go to or send a friend to is a bar with the words "blue" or "oyster" in the name, or with an address on Polk Street. Maybe it's different now.
Used to shoot pool in a bar called "The Moonglow" in Haywierd. Lesbian place with cheap drafts, good pool tables, and baskets of pretzels and dental dams on the bar.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-02 20:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-02 18:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A guy in my office traveled to SF on Friday to visit friends. He'll be there until Tuesday. He's quite middle eastern and looks absolutely terrorific. I've asked him to enter every bank building downtown on Monday and ask the desk reception/security person to direct him to your floor. When he's inevitably told that they don't know who or where you are, he is to curse in Arabic, look directly at the guard and say "I have not been here" in English, and leave in a hurry.
I'm kidding. Gladly, I don't work with people stupid enough to do that if they look so obviously middle eastern. He is bringing me sourdough bread, though. Not kidding about that.
--
What a bummer. He could always shave off his little Saddam mustache, grow his hair longer than an inch, and then say he's a Jew.
Tell your bud - (Assuming you've been, but if you come back) You gotta do something touristy but cool. On the wharf you can get clam chowder in a bowl made from a sourdough loaf. It's kind of a Chris Farley diet but fuck it tastes good.
Also direct your friend to Swan's Oyster Depot on Polk Street for lunch one day (btwn California and Sacramento Streets). Looks like a shithole, but the food will blow your mind. No tables. You sit at an old marble counter and watch the family that works there shout at each other. The clam chowder and prawn cocktail combo will make you blow your freakin load.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-02 19:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's preeeettty fucked up. Maybe he's allergic to yeast or something, though.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-08-02 19:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, Jack, Jack, you wotty frood. People don't want to hear about people pounding poop. They want to hear about Method eating it. If this story had not been about gay men eating pizzas and HAD been about Method eating poop, you may have had something.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-02 18:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A guy in my office traveled to SF on Friday to visit friends. He'll be there until Tuesday. He's quite middle eastern and looks absolutely terrorific. I've asked him to enter every bank building downtown on Monday and ask the desk reception/security person to direct him to your floor. When he's inevitably told that they don't know who or where you are, he is to curse in Arabic, look directly at the guard and say "I have not been here" in English, and leave in a hurry.
I'm kidding. Gladly, I don't work with people stupid enough to do that if they look so obviously middle eastern. He is bringing me sourdough bread, though. Not kidding about that.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-02 15:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See I would always cut a pizza up and eat it if I was in a restaurant.
Commoner.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2008-08-02 14:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-08-02 12:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-02 11:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and while i'm here, what the fuck happened to those d-backs? supposed to be the fireball team of mlb and they, and the whole division, look like shit
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We've just been playing with you...pretending to suck. We're just about to unleash our fury. We're badass and tricky like that.
Don't you hate guys that refer to their favorite sports teams as though they were a part of the team? Me too. Those guys are knobs.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-08-02 12:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
next time you go to a bakery, buy a few pounds of pizza dough. go home, and turn your grill on to low heat.
take approximately 1 pound of dough, and spread/toss/stretch it out with some flour to prevent sticking on a cookie sheet.
when the grill is hot, place the dough directly on the grill. (no cookie sheet)
wait like 5 minutes until it's crispy on the bottom. flip the dough. add *cooked* toppings. cook aproximatey 5 minutes until it's crispy on the bottom.
take off and eat.
perfect crust every time. better than all pizza joints.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-02 11:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge: started out nice and turned into an A-list sucking asshole.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-02 11:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
aww fuck, lunger...a negative review.
now we're gonna have to look at a bubba review with lots of caps, exclamation points, emoticons, and anti-humour. do we really need any more of those? my vote is no.
thanks a lot, old man. thanks a fucking lot.
and while i'm here, what the fuck happened to those d-backs? supposed to be the fireball team of mlb and they, and the whole division, look like shit
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-08-02 11:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I had something to say. Something terribly witty, I'm sure. Forgot what it was. Cheers.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-02 10:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Don't want to be a fat man,
people would think that I was
just good fun."
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-08-02 10:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you attack overweight people, and then attack people who are trying to cut down on carbs they don't need so they don't offend your precious eyes with their flab... what do you, go out of your way to find things to get annoyed over?
I'm angry because I'm hungry.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-08-02 09:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-08-02 06:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-08-02 05:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pfft even the pizza place I worked at at home in a national park in the middle of the Canadian Rockies makes their own crust. Damn rainbow city.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-02 04:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-02 00:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Christ.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-08-01 23:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chicken spiedies pizza is good
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-08-01 23:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't eat carbs. I guess I'll never eat pizza with you then.
ah well
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 22:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 20:46:38 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm weird though. I'm one of those who like ultra thin crust...
--
*must... resist... cheap... shot...*
=======
For two cents and a stick of gum I'd kick the shit out of you.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-08-01 22:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I couldn't imagine caring that much about how a coworker eats.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I just avoid them by eating in my office.
I don't understand worrying that much about carbs, then eating cheese.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 21:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm weird though. I'm one of those who like ultra thin crust...
--
*must... resist... cheap... shot...*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 21:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As to cutting their pizza into squares, legend has it that came about because Ed used to lay tile for a living and he was always cutting tiles into squares. So naturally, the pizza would be cut into squares too.
--
Now THAT is a cool bit of trivia.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 21:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
now, when you call the gentleman in question a 'faggot' is this in reference to his actual sexual preferences and your intolerance of them? or are you using this in an attempt to demean a heterosexual office-mate call his manhood into question because he doesn't eat the way you want him to?
either way just makes you sound like a big meanie.
if there's one thing i hate to see at ubersite, it's this sort of meanspirited judgment of our fellow man.
i'm ashamed of you, jack.
--
Oh fuck off you sensitive pussy.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-08-01 21:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I think you should step away from the plate," typed The Outsider. "Come back when you grow a pair." He slammed the keyboard tray back into his desk and cracked open a fresh pack of cigarettes, placing one between his lips.
Three female cats, all raging in estrus, surrounded The Outsider and longingly presented their genitals. The Outsider's thin, pale face contorted into a carnal grin. The tipping paper of his cigarette had become sufficiently warm and moist. He pulled it out of his mouth.
"Time for some Tabby Tobacco," he seethed. Picking up one of the cats by the scruff, he pinned it onto his lap.
----------------------------------
Some time later, his ashtray filled to the brim and three exhausted cats sprawled across the room, The Outsider reclined in his chair, boots on the desk and smile on his face.
"I feel...refreshed!" he chuckled. He clicked the refresh button on his browser, leaned forward, pulled down the brim of his cowboy hat, and settled in for another few hours of cyber-vigilante justice. As always, he worked alone. Off the grid. Unknown. Unquantified. Unqualified. Uninteresting.
...The Outsider.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-01 20:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your self image on this site is influencing you in a way that makes you an auto-perpetuating self parody.
You're turning into Fat Tony, and you don't seem to care.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
best pizza I ever had was in Italy.
must have been imported.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly. If I want bread, I'll have a sandwich.
====================================================
my sentiments exactly. i hate getting filled up on bread when the rest of the ingredients are so much better tasting and better for you.
i'm with you. like i said earlier, i like roasted vegetables on my pizza, but i have to have the cheese too. i'll eat pepperoni if i'm hungry and that's what someone ordered, but i generally only like a pizza plain cheese, with vegetables, or sometimes i'll have it with spinach. i'm going to be in Jersey in a couple days. i'm going to have to go back to that place in Princeton and get some of that buffalo chicken pizza. god, that is good shit... i also miss going to Triumph. good beer. mmmm....
i just bought a house in the St Louis area so i'll finally be able to have Imo's whenever i want. i'm so fucking excited.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly. If I want bread, I'll have a sandwich.
Thin crust is also good if you keep one eye on your carbs. I like their sauce too.
I'm weird though. I'm one of those who like ultra thin crust, vegetarian, no cheese pizzas.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hidden, we have an Imo's here in KC as well.
Excellent pizza.
========================================================
see, told you guys. some people don't like a crust that's as big as a house. Imo's has fucking awesome thin crust pizza.
"We can't actually verify this fact, but Imo's could be one of the first pizza parlors in the country to deliver pizza to your home. In fact, pick-up and delivery were the only services offered when Ed and Marge Imo opened their first parlor at Thurman and Shaw in South St. Louis in 1964.
As to cutting their pizza into squares, legend has it that came about because Ed used to lay tile for a living and he was always cutting tiles into squares. So naturally, the pizza would be cut into squares too."
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I go to JA meetings.
(Jackslammers Anonymous)
"Hi, my name is Paymelater, and I'm a Jackslammer."
*Hi, Paymelater!*
"Today I railed that asshole good."
*applause*
hmmmm
I guess it's more of a pep rally type deal.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-01 19:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh who am i kidding?
i should +2 these posts of yours just because they give me an opportunity to -2 you and not seem like some sort of obsessive jack hating 'faggot'.
wait...fuck
DOES NOT COMPUTE
RAHH
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and settle down, Jack. You're going to end up with an aneurysm one of these days.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hidden, we have an Imo's here in KC as well.
Excellent pizza.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
now, when you call the gentleman in question a 'faggot' is this in reference to his actual sexual preferences and your intolerance of them? or are you using this in an attempt to demean a heterosexual office-mate call his manhood into question because he doesn't eat the way you want him to?
either way just makes you sound like a big meanie.
if there's one thing i hate to see at ubersite, it's this sort of meanspirited judgment of our fellow man.
i'm ashamed of you, jack.
Submitted by xakarii (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I work up such an appetite sleeping with my boyfriend that I can't help but stack extra toppings (like foie-gras and scrambled eggs) on slices and push them together top-to-top to create combination pizza-sandwiches. I butter the outside of it, pan-fry the abominable snack, and hork it all down without chewing cause I have no gag reflex.
Anyone who can't appreciate this will contract cancer from suppressing their latent homosexual desires.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Faggots Don't Know How to Write Interesting Posts, either.
--
I think you should step away from the plate. Come back when you grow a pair.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Faggots Don't Know How to Write Interesting Posts, either.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-08-01 14:08:11 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a pizza loving faggot, I am highly offended!!!
You can tell by the exclamation points, that I am indeed a faggot, and offended.
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Like we needed that announcement Shirley. Thanks for coming out to us though...I hope you feel "special"
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I've already seen your stand up, jizbag, trying to make me feel bad with insults is pretty fucking redundant at this point.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 14:14:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever stooped to ordering Dominos or one of the big chain excuses for pizza?
Lift up a slice and look at the bottom. See those track marks? Machined crust. Disgusting.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 14:12:53 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a pizza loving faggot, I am highly offended!!!
You can tell by the exclamation points, that I am indeed a faggot, and offended.
--
If you loved pizza you would realize the importance of a hand-tossed crust and would not be offended.
=====
Actually, I cannot honestly say that I read the post.
To answer your question, I would never actually order from Pizza Hut etc...
I ate it every once in a while when my ex-roommate would smoke me out and make it himself (he worked there, poor bastard). It's also incredibly undercooked when it's made for actual customers, ridiculously so.
I would never eat the stuff sober, my girlfriend sometimes makes it home made with wheat flower, delicious.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and you guys didn't think i could be humble.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 18:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah, well if you think Imo's sucks, maybe you didn't see THIS-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4_DB9bBB4Q
and Apollo is close- i don't know EVERYTHING, but i'm about as close as it gets to knowing everything.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hidden knws everthyhtign
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTg-0aYOsxA
"Imo's pizza sucks"
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes i do
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, make that 5 a 50. Victors is 50, maybe 60 years old now. Great place.
Jesus fuck, could the hour hand be moving any slower?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba- i don't eat a lot of chain pizza either, but Dominoes is one of the ones i like.
if you're ever in St Louis, try Imo's. i fucking LOVE Imo's.
--
You're an okay guy, Hidden, but you don't know pizza from ass.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ham, Pineapple, Double Mushrooms.
--
If you ver go to SF, to to Polk & Calfornia, look for Victor's. It's a tiny 5- year old Itlaina joint. Hand tossed crust, the best Hawaiian pizza you'll ever have. No bullshit, just ham, pineapple, chuncks of garlic, and oregano. Home-made sauce. Fucking incredible.
If you get their home made minestrone soup or a side dish of pasta the buns/breadrolls are made from pizza dough. GAWDAMN!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba- i don't eat a lot of chain pizza either, but Dominoes is one of the ones i like.
if you're ever in St Louis, try Imo's. i fucking LOVE Imo's.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uhg.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like my pizza with a little vaseline on the tip of my cock...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ham, Pineapple, Double Mushrooms.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never delivered 'em, just ate 'em.
Couldn't pass the written, eh?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's a great independent place by us called 'pinks'
awesome pizza.
in fact ima get some now
===============
What do Limey-American's eat on a pizza?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never delivered 'em, just ate 'em.
*waits for foolish comment from Willie*
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's a great independent place by us called 'pinks'
awesome pizza.
in fact ima get some now
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bubba was the best delivery guy they had, too.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden, the last chain pizza I had was from Domino's. It was a thin-crust meat lovers with added bacon and extra cheddar cheese. No grease, just good food. I don't usually get chain pizza, but that one was OK.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah. i've had pizza that could have been good but the makers chose to use a giant, stomach-filling crust that was barely above still being dough. it's disappointing.
or shit, look at crap like pizza hut. big ass crust, not enough sauce, terrible cheese, and more grease on one pizza than i usually consume in a month.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when i find myself caught in that situation, i usually respond with a deep-ass fart with a resonating sound that everyone knows it hasn't been tampered with
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the secret to a good pizza is figuring out how to use the right kind of cheeses to compliment an amazing sauce. the crust is the least important part. in fact, so many pizzas that could have been good have been ruined by their crust. thin and crispy is how i like it. sometimes pan pizza can be good, but mostly i don't like a pizza where you can barely taste the sauce, the cheese is rubbery, and you fill up on the crust because it comprises 90% of the pizza.
i personally like roasted vegetables on my pizza. and i only like pepperoni if it's good and crispy.
the absolute best pizza i've ever had was the buffalo chicken pizza in Princeton, across the street from the university on Nassau. i can't remember the name of the place. holy fuck that was good buffalo sauce.
one thing i hate is people who talk about how you are supposed to eat your food. the only thing worse is when someone wants me to eat something i don't want to eat and they flip out over the fact that i won't eat it.
=============
The crust is the least important part, but many pizzas were ruined by the crust??
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As opposed to the crusty hand job you pay young boys to give you Bubba?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jack McCallum, Faggot Expert.
LOL
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only chain I ever order from is Papa Murphy's. Five pounds of take-home-and-cook-it pizza for $10.95. I watch them hand-toss the crust.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you and Bubba set a date yet?
At which of the marts will you register?
Wal or K?
I have so many questions for Jack McCallum, Faggot Expert.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the secret to a good pizza is figuring out how to use the right kind of cheeses to compliment an amazing sauce. the crust is the least important part. in fact, so many pizzas that could have been good have been ruined by their crust. thin and crispy is how i like it. sometimes pan pizza can be good, but mostly i don't like a pizza where you can barely taste the sauce, the cheese is rubbery, and you fill up on the crust because it comprises 90% of the pizza.
i personally like roasted vegetables on my pizza. and i only like pepperoni if it's good and crispy.
the absolute best pizza i've ever had was the buffalo chicken pizza in Princeton, across the street from the university on Nassau. i can't remember the name of the place. holy fuck that was good buffalo sauce.
one thing i hate is people who talk about how you are supposed to eat your food. the only thing worse is when someone wants me to eat something i don't want to eat and they flip out over the fact that i won't eat it.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob is in Texas, doesn't sound like the pizza mecca of the world but we have italians like the plague and they bring their food. I'd have a good calzone or stromboli over a pizza though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's that review I authored with the list of "people you don't like" on it?
I'm pretty sure I nailed this one.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I couldn't imagine caring that much about how a coworker eats.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really can't tell if you're joking or if you have genuine prejudice against...everyone.
--
No Ace, just you.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever stooped to ordering Dominos or one of the big chain excuses for pizza?
Lift up a slice and look at the bottom. See those track marks? Machined crust. Disgusting.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a pizza loving faggot, I am highly offended!!!
You can tell by the exclamation points, that I am indeed a faggot, and offended.
--
If you loved pizza you would realize the importance of a hand-tossed crust and would not be offended.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, thin-crust, hand-tossed. Apparently it works, because I've never seen HaikuMikkkooo in my favorite pizza joint.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where are you, Bob?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a pizza loving faggot, I am highly offended!!!
You can tell by the exclamation points, that I am indeed a faggot, and offended.
--------------------
Like we needed that announcement Shirley. Thanks for coming out to us though...I hope you feel "special"
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-01 17:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel sorry for you, I can think of many pizza joints around here that not only hand toss, but they also have traditional wood ovens that they cook the pizza in. I ordered a traditional, Sicilian Deep Dish yesterday. Hand tossed, wood oven, you could taste that the tomatoes, onions, and even the fucking basil were fresh and garden grown.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm listening to my Rocky Horror soundtrack.
The timewarp is my favorite.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As a pizza loving faggot, I am highly offended!!!
You can tell by the exclamation points, that I am indeed a faggot, and offended.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to never eat the crust. i'm talking about the edges and corners, not the foundation for the meat and cheese. i feel like one of those hebrew desert dwellers when i eat that dry stuff.
i've lately gotten over it.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really can't tell if you're joking or if you have genuine prejudice against...everyone.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-01 16:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for the tip, Andy.