A piece of paradise (809 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.51 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2008-08-06 12:06:27 EDT
Here's me offshore again and I'm still not bored. I love this place. Fresh air, plenty of exercise, hard work, up at the crack of dawn and sleeping five minutes after my head hits the pillow. I'm totally exhausted but that's alright because it's a good kind of exhausted.
I'm incognito, no mobile phone, no work phone blasting me before I've had a chance to think, no pressure. Jumping in and out of my boiler suit, no hairdryer, hair straighteners, makeup or drinking. Wandering around in my trackies and t-shirt exploring a big piece of metal machinery... bliss!
I love standing on the edge of the platform looking out to sea. The cold air tingles every nerve ending in my face as I watch two oil platforms silhouetted on the horizon. Seabirds duck and dive out of the water on this flat calm day which is totally uncharacteristic of the North Sea.
I've been down in the control room watching all the schematics of separators, hydrocyclones, diesel pumps and so on and so fourth go about the business of extracting oil from deep within the earth. It's incredible! I could stay here forever watching all the pressures, temperatures and flowrates go up and down. I could watch the decisions they all make e.g. will they open the coriolis to route a small amount of produced water from the test separator to the atmospheric separator because there's not enough of it to warrant starting up the test hydrocyclones. Or will they bring another well through the test separator with a high water cut because the coriolis isn't responding to let the water through and the test separator is overflowing? Or will they send the maintenance guys down to see why the coriolis valve is not opening? This shit is so all intriguing to me. Amazing!
I've written about this before how overwhelmed I am by everybody who works and lives out here. It's like a parallel universe so different from my everyday life. I'm out here again for environmental reasons and again I'm bowled over by how willing the guys are to listen to what I've got to say, the fact they really do care and how much care and attention they do pay so as not to upset the environment they impose on.
Not that I'm a fan of oil and gas but I've come to the conclusion it's a necessary evil until we move forward into something new. Probably fifty years from now the world will be a very different place but for now, it is what it is.
I was beginning to hate what I do, in fact, loathe it with passion. Coming out here makes it all seem worthwhile. I see the results of hard work. I see what battling with project engineers, government regulators and managers accomplishes and it's a good feeling. It is an ongoing battle trying to get multi-billion pound companies to invest in the environment and lets face it, if they really wanted to spend the money, they could probably sort most of the issues in a few years. But, the progress is being made and I can say wholeheartedly I'm glad to be a part of it.
And please don't think for one second I'm some tree hugging global warming preaching hippie because that couldn't be further from the truth. My stance on global warming is that I don't think we're helping but the planet heating up is by no means our fault. We are but an insignificant blip in its history. I do believe in keeping things as they should be and not making a mess though, not killing the pretty birds and fishes, evolving ourselves but not at the expense of something else.
Well, I just thought I'd mention all that seeing as I'm here and full of the fresh air. Have a picture of the platform I'm on at the moment.
User Reviews
Submitted by branimal_08 (user info) at 2008-10-14 17:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are not popular.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-10-12 12:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could go for a bit of anonymity right about now.
Submitted by Tjhom (user info) at 2008-10-12 10:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how you've juxtaposed an oil platform to 'paradise', kinda made me feel good, happy for you
goodtimes
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-11 19:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a geologist, I...
Fuck it.
Submitted by psikosismc (user info) at 2008-10-11 14:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by aquagirl (user info) at 2008-09-08 17:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-05 18:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91211
Submitted by Bixbybrat14 (user info) at 2008-09-05 17:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by devildog (user info) at 2008-09-04 15:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Naplander (user info) at 2008-08-30 14:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Nigeyboy666 (user info) at 2008-08-27 07:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118166#2765364
LOL
Submitted by bubba69 (user info) at 2008-08-24 15:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by spidy (user info) at 2008-08-18 15:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Linus is a jerk
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-18 15:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 BOOM -- Dunno how much this is gonna do since I've +2d most of your posts anyway =P
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-07 15:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah well, I've got me a nasty Beano rash.
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Never too far from your thoughts eh Munter.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:37:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, indeed I am. I have something at the moment as it happens but you've made it bad timing. I'll email you.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Banjo, what's happening dawg? Still throwing in the sponge?
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah well, I've got me a nasty Beano rash.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 10:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:38:42 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a debate on The Great Global Warming Scandal please. We all think different things so there's really no point.
In response to a couple of comments below. I'm not just an observer but most of my work is done onshore. I work with engineers during the design stages to ensure that the environment is considered. E.g. arey the using energy efficient combustion systems, can they re-inject produced water back to the reservoir instead of dumping it at sea, do they have sufficient drainage, are subsea structures fishing friendly, what are the sensitive times of year and so on and so forth.
I was out looking at a few things e.g. a new Compact Flotation Unit designed to reduce oil in water although I'm not a huge fan of this one as to achieve reduced oil in water more chemicals are required. I was seeing if there was anything we could do to improve the platform drainage so that less went to sea. I go off as an environmental consultant basically doing assessments to see if there are more favourable environmental options which can implemented. I then go onshore, persuade an operator to pay for it and set about the project. Its good fun, but the onshore bit sucks.
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I thnk this post has gone better for you than the last few previous.
Deserves a higher rating.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-08-07 09:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 07:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a debate on The Great Global Warming Scandal please. We all think different things so there's really no point.
In response to a couple of comments below. I'm not just an observer but most of my work is done onshore. I work with engineers during the design stages to ensure that the environment is considered. E.g. arey the using energy efficient combustion systems, can they re-inject produced water back to the reservoir instead of dumping it at sea, do they have sufficient drainage, are subsea structures fishing friendly, what are the sensitive times of year and so on and so forth.
I was out looking at a few things e.g. a new Compact Flotation Unit designed to reduce oil in water although I'm not a huge fan of this one as to achieve reduced oil in water more chemicals are required. I was seeing if there was anything we could do to improve the platform drainage so that less went to sea. I go off as an environmental consultant basically doing assessments to see if there are more favourable environmental options which can implemented. I then go onshore, persuade an operator to pay for it and set about the project. Its good fun, but the onshore bit sucks.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-07 05:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like a cool Job.
How does one get into such a position?
-You sound like a bit of a hippy though, "I'm not a hippy..... don't kill the pretty birds"
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't even know they let women on oil rigs. What about the sexual tension?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm totally exhausted but that's alright because it's a good kind of exhausted.
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As opposed to the bad kind of exhausted you get from, say, childbirth or forced labour?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-08-07 03:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What Rig are you on?
Maybe you got a link from us on board, we have a lot of connections on Rigs.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-06 20:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...but the planet heating up is by no means our fault.
---
Oh "we" have most certainly contributed in some very key areas - and while it's not ALL our fault, or even mostly "our" fault so the fact that we are malignantly contributing to the process is conveniently marginalized or outright ignored.
Did you see Brangelina's twins though? OMG! SO cute.
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-08-06 19:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Amen to that, although I would not consider religion "bollocks"--whatever that means I forget.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
My stance on global warming is that I don't think we're helping but the planet heating up is by no means our fault
--
I love how global warming has suddenly become one of those things like religion that people feel they can have a 'stance' on rather than being cold, hard, scientific fact. When the fuck did that happen? It's fucking retarded.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-06 18:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you for being happy.
Submitted by Naplander (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beano sighting below.
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Where? That dude is famous.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beano sighting below.
Submitted by SandiB (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah like its wishy washy as fuck.
it's like your 'belief' of evolution. it's not something to believe or disbelieve it's something to prove or disprove.
the hypothesis is there, backed by data, research, fossil record, observational evidence (fruit flies etc) to not 'believe' you have to disprove the hypothesis/theory. That's what science is. Last man standing is probably correct.
Don't let 'theory' throw you off either, the concept of gravity will always remain a theory, it doesn't stop us sticking to the floor though.
That's why religion is such bollocks, sure you can't DISPROVE a god, but you can, and we have, disproven all the claims of his work. Age of the earth, universe, creating humans, noahs ark, etc etc so the best we can say that if there IS a god, he's a lazy cunt who's done nowt.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
My stance on global warming is that I don't think we're helping but the planet heating up is by no means our fault
--
I love how global warming has suddenly become one of those things like religion that people feel they can have a 'stance' on rather than being cold, hard, scientific fact. When the fuck did that happen? It's fucking retarded.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:43:44 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you ARE a cocktail waitress on an oil rig. I knew it.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you ARE a cocktail waitress on an oil rig. I knew it.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is it that you're actually doing out there? You post details your fascination with the workings of the rig but you're watching rather than doing or helping, though you hint at an environmental function.
No sarcasm, just interested.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's awesome!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to offset the toolpouch below.
Oil rigs *are* cool. Used to have friends who lived and died on them in the Gulf of Mexico. Fascinating.
Can I fuck your mouth now?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto sybian +2
========================
HAH
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My ex's uncle was an inspector of sorts in Anchorage, Alaska. He flew his little plane out to various rigs for enviornmental inspections and was paid generously for it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only time manbearpig will ever be 'drilled'.
BA-BADUM *CLASH*
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wanted to say something like tie a 10' pipe to your neck and jump off
but I'm feeling nice.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you ARE a cocktail waitress on an oil rig. I knew it.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have a scoobie what you're talking about.
I'm going to assume its some sort of new-fangled, superpowerful sex machine.
Auto sybian +2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE COVERED COCONUT, BITCH??