RE: a question for people in retail or customer service jobs (1027 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Apollo (View user info) at 2008-08-06 14:39:26 EDT
"Thanks chief!" the faux-perky store attendant shouted after the curiously magnificent, and splendidly dignified gentleman with piano players hands.
He never broke stride.
Waves of doubt washed over him, was the modern day chimney sweep mocking him or being friendly? Was even his apparent friendliness mocking him by its prematurity?
It's a complicated thing, especially when one wields as much power as the protagonist in our story.
The complex interplay between the master (customer) and servant (shop oik) relationship, throw in generational differences, perhaps ethnic differences and it should take the finest minds in the world to come up with a complete answer.
Fortunately our hero knew just the resource.
Hurrying home in his cheap, efficient, babe repellant car his mind raced.
Striding purposefully through his domain, swatting his overbearing wife aside with a rolled up newspaper, pausing only to slap her bottom, he booted up his machine.
Ubersite.com, that's where I'll find the answer to this condundrum. Some of the most socially advanced creatures on earth, they respect my terrible power too, they'll not see me use it unwisely.
Meanwhile, back at the Petrol Station, the greasy oik glibly went about his business, not a care in the world.
"See you later, boss!" He cried to a man barely a year older than him, whose left eye promptly gave an involuntary twitch.
Could this be his last 'boss'?
Back to our leonine saviour's hovel....the request for information was up by the Top Dog as he was affectionately known, his transformation from Uber Bad Boy to avuncular Top Dog had been Fonzie-esque. Outrageously though, his ratings still didn't count - a hang over from the Bad Boy days.
Page refreshed.... Uber's advice came flooding in.....
"""Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-05 23:56:20 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, even though the question was directed at the slave class, i'll offer up an answer anyway.
definitely b.
time to break out a cat-o'-nine-tails and some pliers. maybe a blowtorch."""
Yes, that makes sense he thought.
But then:
"""Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-08-06 00:03:33 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would figure A in Australia, anyways do you really need to show your authority over a kid who works at a petrol station?
If you are the kind of petty middle aged prick that does, maybe the kid was coming from B and totally hit the nail on the head.... """
Clearly this locksly fellow would have to go.
The next comment settled it:
"""Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 00:04:20 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think anal rape is called for. """
Director had confirmed our hero's inital gut reaction, anal rape was the solution.
As it so often is on ubersite.com.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-25 06:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hA
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-07 06:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anal is so overrated.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Appeasing.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-07 03:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JTLCH worthy
PLUS FUCKING TWO
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-07 02:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it's anal, it's not rape.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
anal rape is always the answer!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All right. Who let Bubba out of his cage? Get back in there, you. Bad.
==================
You didn't lock it, twat. :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-06 19:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm guessing that this was an "inside joke", partly based on that OTHER post I didn't read.
Email me, EnormoMelon.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-06 19:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really wish I knew what this is all about
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-06 18:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, why not.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-06 18:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is perhaps the best post (Apollo has submitted) on uber in the last (2 years)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All right. Who let Bubba out of his cage? Get back in there, you. Bad.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you'll find that anal rape is the solution to most issues in life.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Bubba.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh jeez.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how fucking old are you bubba?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shovel face, below.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm just calling a spade a spade here, bub.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no, you fucking geriatric, toothless, humourless, hillbilly, i have no taste for you.
move on, unclean one.
===================
Your paltry little brain is stagnant. Those so-called insults are getting pretty old. Can't you do any better, retard?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no, you fucking geriatric, toothless, humourless, hillbilly, i have no taste for you.
move on, unclean one.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is perhaps the best post on uber in the last 10 months
===================
Sure, if you have a taste for shit.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
(shop oik)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is perhaps the best post on uber in the last 10 months
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Needs more rape
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i mean this did have a target audience of about 5 people.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.
Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You are the vulgarian, you fuck.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of want to ironcialy congratulate you on some fabulous writing but I don't think the sarcastic distdain would come across well in print.
This was BRILLIANT.
See?
by the way, what the fuck are you babbling on about?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drive a babe repellent car.
The insincere servantile work voice is 100 times different from the regular voice. It's usually very easy to pick out.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thank you for putting the original post into context.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a bit over-descriptive for my liking but leagues beyond my potential nonetheless.
Eat shit!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure it did.
But it is the right course of action.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Doodles, that review sucked the first time.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should cum in the cunt's mouth like he was your son's hungry hungry hippo game for being a cunt.
If he had said TOP DOG, however it would have been out of respect and you should have cum in the respectful fellow's mouth like he was your son's hungry hungry hippo game to show your dominance.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you say I'M not funny.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just the right amount of rape.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is kinda gay.