I want to be Chad. (504 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.44 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 8 bit hero (View user info) at 2008-08-08 15:43:24 EDT
Alas, it can never be, I do not use Alltel. I am a subscriber of AT&T against my will being a former Cingular customer.
Chad. He's so fucking cool. The chicks dig him.
Then, I hear a commercial on the radio from Verizon with some guy saying that he gets the girls because he uses Verizon. He said they like him more than his friends because Verizon is a smart choice.
Now, I'm conflicted so I go have a beer. The billboard has some chick with a guy dancing sexy-like and they are drinking Budweiser, so I guess I'll drink a Bud.
After arriving at the bar, I glance at a television screen and see an ad for Corona.
Man, those people are so cool with their fuck the world attitude. They don't let nothin' get to them. Forget the sexy-like Budweiser, I want a Corona.
I place my order and wait for the "Problems Can Suck My Dick" beer when I see a man wearing Abercrombie clothes. He has some friends with him and they are all wearing the same thing. They are also hitting on and being rude to all the women around them.
I want to wear Abercrombie. I want to be the frat guy that hopes he will get a job based on greek letters.
After idolizing the Abercrombie guys and finishing my Corona I go to my car.
I drive a Hyundai. I wish I drove a Ford. The guys in the ads are tough. I bet they do stuff like bale things, smash hot steel with hammers, know how to change the oil of their cars, and chew tobacco.
*Sigh*
I'd settle just to be like Chad.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-08-11 05:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Chad and Fuck you
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-11 04:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Advertising and capitalism have ruined society.
...from Dan in Marketing.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-08-10 14:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what about mike?...god he's so cool and you can buy a pair of his shoes for a decently priced $999.00 usd. That's of course the the higher end model lower ends only run around about 150.00. That aint half bad especially if they make you jump higher and look as cool as him. I also want to drink gatorade like him and play unevenly matched basketball games against people who will be getting dunked on while I play viscious defense on a lackluster 3 point shooting game. HAYNES FOR LIFE!
I also now want to be black and have corn roles or is it corn rows? Ah shit just corn my hair up and let me jump around with my pants half way down my ass and a swisher sweet hanging out of my mouth. Yeah that would be super awesome. Maybe I could finally smack a ho too. Is that too much to ask america?
But if I do that then how will I fit into my swilling budweiser sleaveless t-shirt wearing crowd every sunday. I will have a shrine to D.E. Sr. DAMN IT and nobody will stop me from buying up every bit of memorabilia with his name on it. NOBODY!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-08-10 11:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got it.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-09 03:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2008-08-09 00:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice try, but weak.
Go die.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-08 19:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He looks like a fag on a cellphone. You probably already ARE Chad.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wanna be me.
Although a big fucking pile of free money would kick some serious ass.
Me and 27.4 million would be extra tasty awesome.
Submitted by icanbecool (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Put on just a little thick
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah. Wait a minute. It's the guy from TV. My kid's
hero...Cruddy...Crummy...Krusty the Clown!
-- Homer Simpson
Krusty Gets Busted
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-08-08 16:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those commercials crack me up now that Verizon actually owns Alltel.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-08 16:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No cats were used in the making of this post.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-08 16:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to be Bjork.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-08 15:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WIZZZZARD!!!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-08 15:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Chad lives only through the transmission of digital information onto a screen. As, to me, do you.
Therefore, whatever you may keep as your personal self-image, to me you are Chad.
Be at peace.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-08 15:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
who the fuck is chad?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-08-08 15:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate chad.