A Few Days Ago I Made a Series of Poor Decisions Mostly Influenced by My Own Stupidity and a Fair Amount of Alcohol (plus bonus camwhore as I have noticed that my chin and my Adam’s apple are incredibly phallic and just knew that Uber would be the place t (1532 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.23 on 86 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Haiku Mikoo (View user info) at 2008-08-12 19:04:40 EDT
QuinnTheEskimo, a good friend of mine for the past four years invited me over to his duplex to smoke weed and watch old episodes of Rocko's Modern Life. I had not been around anyone besides my girlfriend for a couple of weeks, so I decided to make the twenty-minute or so long drive to his place.
Uncharacteristically, I grew bored of Rocko and weed after sharing only one bowl, and decided alcohol combined with some random activity should take place. So, having incredibly low standards and being poor, I walked to the local Albertson's and brought us back a gallon of Carlo Rossi.
For those of you that don't know, Carlo Rossi is very much so what most would call bum wine, as evidenced by the fact that they sell the awful stuff by the fucking gallon for about nine U.S. dollars.
At any rate, Quinn and I finished the bottle over a game or two of Munchkin and considered our options for the night. I wanted to go to a bar, but alas, Quinn is not twenty-one. Eventually we decided on going to a strip club, mostly because he wanted to and was also the only one willing to drive anywhere. Possessing the poorest of decision-making skills even while completely sober, I got into the passenger seat of Quinn's truck and made the potentially moronic decision to buy us another jug of Carlo. Armed with a fresh gallon of ghetto swill and my trusty bankcard, we made what seemed like a fairly long trek to the strip club. I wasn't quite sure why it was taking so long, but it didn't matter to me much because it gave us time to put a nice dent in our jug of Carlo.
We arrived at the club feeling rather sloshed, paid our entrance fees and sat a comfortable four aisles back from the main stage, but still were almost immediately assaulted by scantily clad strippers. No doubt the money grubbing cunts had designated us as easy targets due to our inability to walk straight and perhaps by the smell of our cheap, vino tainted breath.
I think I asked for a Manhattan about four times before they finally successfully explained to me that they didn't serve alcohol, but that they ran a bar next door that I could walk to. This was about two times less than it took for them to explain to me that I was in Idaho, which was confusing to me as we live in Washington State. I'm not sure exactly how the topic kept coming up, but, "Idaho...how the fuck did I get here?" managed to draw greedy laughter from all strippers within a twenty foot radius with my every drunken slur.
I shrugged it off and meandered next-door. I have no idea how many Manhattans I had, but my online bank statement says that I spent seventy dollars there. There's no way I drank that amount in Manhattans, since Quinn says I was only there for about half an hour or so, and seeing as I didn't black out I highly doubt I could have pounded that many in such a small amount of time. Perhaps I was simply taken advantage of, but judging from how the rest of the night went, I assume the tip I left was just the first step in releasing the iron grip I tend to keep on my wallet.
I made my way back to the club, ostensibly at the peak of my drunkenness for the night. It wasn't long before a few strippers made their routine passes offering dances in exchange for legal tender, and when a petite blonde girl with an incredible ass came by to try her luck with us, I uncharacteristically followed her into a dark area of the club with oddly sectioned off black leather chairs.
This decision conflicted heavily with my usual behavior, which typically involves a lack of desire to be around most people of every kind and definitely does not involve a desire to spend money to have the recycled, moist gash of a stripper rubbed on the leg of my favorite pair of pants. In fact, I had gone to strip clubs with Quinn a few times in the past, each time easily refraining from paying for anything but my entrance fee due to a mixture of girlfriend induced guilt and an indifference toward sweaty mammaries being rubbed in my face.
I cannot put a face to this girl's body for obvious reasons, but I hope she was damn attractive, because according to Quinn I apparently spent one hundred and ninety dollars to have stripper ass rubbed on my crotch for the next two hours.
As some of you may know, one of the perks of being in a relationship is the ability to grope one's partner without fear of repercussion. As some of you may also know, the opposite is true of strippers. I'm not sure if it was because I am used to being able to grope at will in the privacy of my own apartment, or some kind of latent creepiness drawn out by booze and strippers, but without even thinking about it I continually tried to feel up her legs and ass. Each time I was thoroughly embarrassed and apologized profusely, but eventually she stopped pushing my hands away and some light leg stroking and cheek cupping became acceptable.
After finally realizing I was being a huge dick, I decided to end the dance, and let them charge my card for the one hundred and ninety dollars in stripper groping I had racked up. Yet, for some reason, after the stripper put her skivvies back on she decided to plop ungracefully onto my lap. After explaining to her that I didn't have any more money to spend and that I should probably be going, the vixen remained unmoved. Minutes later I somehow ended up giving her a back massage while she babbled on about how she only did this for school, the typical stripper lies. She eventually whispered something about how she had to do one more dance on the main stage, and then she would be done for the night. For reasons completely beyond my comprehension, she told me she wanted to "go somewhere" with me when she was done. I was not to move from my seat, and she would be back in a matter of minutes.
Maybe I was being presumptuous, but I assumed this was an opportunity ripe with stripper sex. For the next minute I weighed getting my money's worth against potentially forever scarring my relationship and my genitals at the hands of this stripping harlot of sorts. Luckily, I didn't have it in me and ultimately decided to flee, providing Quinn with no reasonable explanation as to why we had to leave right away.
I woke up the next morning on Quinn's coach to the sound of him leaving for work. I crawled into his bathroom and vomited extensively into his less than clean toilet. After a few minutes I managed to pull myself up to the sink to wash my face off and the inside of my mouth out. While staring dejectedly at my own reflection, I saw something I had never noticed before. When facing my image from the front, my Adam's apple and chin work together to form what uncannily resembles a massive cock.
I'm honestly still not sure which is worse, having the outline of a giant flesh baton on my face, or having to explain to my lady how three hundred dollars has disappeared from our joint account, which usually does not have more than nine hundred dollars in it at any given time.
I feel like a total asshole, Uber, and I look like a cock.
Fucking wonderful.
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-09-29 23:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fat goth cunt I know, but who the fuck are you?
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2008-09-24 03:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't read the post, but you need to be punished for posting the most homosexual picture I believe I have ever seen on this website.
BAD
Also, GTFO, you nitwit. There, I used a word you can fuck with, have fun.
Nice title tho, so -2 mildly feel pain but in no way die.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-22 02:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is that the look you had on your face when you realized that "Daddy's Special Touches" were actually supposed to be BAD things???
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-02 20:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah it would have been easier to email you
my mind was altered at the time
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-09-02 20:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not on uber every day, I do check my email pretty regularly, shot you an email regardless.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-30 20:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
waiting......
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-30 20:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What would you like me to write?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-30 19:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
write to me motherfucker
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-08-19 16:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I guess I love you too. But I'm not happy about it.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-19 16:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Definitely erection inducing rage.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-19 15:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Siren's rage is making me erect.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-08-19 15:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, you know I have a vag, as I blatantly described in my last post, which you rated. Don't act like you drew some intelligent conclusion yourself based on my review, you arrogant dick hair.
What makes you think this is retaliation? If I truly wanted to retaliate, it would not have been with a -1, and I wouldn't have pointed out anything positive about your post.
Your rating on my post lead me to investigate who you were. I almost gave you a +2 solely on the Rocko-watching. The fact is, the rest of the post sucked my ass, long and hard, with tongue insertion and vocalizations of pleasure.
Stop whining about a shitty -1.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-19 14:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably the gayest retal I've ever received below, I'm assuming you have a vagina.
Just leave a -2 no comment next time.
Here, I'll link you to some positively rated posts so you can *really* do some damage:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113778
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115531
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111583
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110606
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110295
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-08-19 09:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Another -1 because I just saw your Uberdirectory camwhore, and you actually look nothing like my ex, but are nearly a carbon copy of this small town politician that I know who is in the closet but won't come out because of said political career and his Catholic mother. And you dress like a douche.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-08-19 09:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+2- Rocko's Modern Life
-2- Title said it all, no need to read uninteresting story.
+1 Camwhore
-2 Ugly camwhore
+2 Cock face
-1 You look like an ex of mine
-2 Joint bank account with a girlfriend?
+1 Booze
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-16 20:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually meant to rate this the other day when I read it but forgot.
By the way, this rating is in no way connected to our most recent exchange.
Cunt.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-08-15 04:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds familiar. Especially the dreaded bank balance check the next morning. I think my worst was £350 ($650) and I was left with a fanny batter stain on my work suit. I had to spray it with half a can of deoderant to mask the smell at work the next day as I had nothing else to wear.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-14 22:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-14 16:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-08-14 08:55:38 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm still having difficulty with believing you have a girlfriend.
=====
Hmmm...perhaps if I go bald and grow the goatee of a pot dealing sixteen year old you'll be convinced?
=====
What's funny is these two douchebags look like brothers.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-14 16:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-08-14 08:55:38 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm still having difficulty with believing you have a girlfriend.
=====
Hmmm...perhaps if I go bald and grow the goatee of a pot dealing sixteen year old you'll be convinced?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-14 12:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You got off easy.
Booze and bad decisions landed me in the joint and cost me 10's of thousands of dollars.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-08-14 11:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm still having difficulty with believing you have a girlfriend.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-14 05:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-13 05:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did you do to get banned?
--
I just happened to fill my pint up while the bartenders were'nt looking. It's sorted, I had a tab that night.
Submitted by chitowngirl (user info) at 2008-08-13 23:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i feel old :( having friends that are under twenty-one. wow! post.script. your story was gay. ghey.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-13 18:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-08-13 17:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the stripper "going to school" lie. This was well-written.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-08-13 15:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-13 04:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A fine story from a fine fellow.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-08-13 14:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny little cock throat : )
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-13 14:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EI - That reminded me of a girl that had a crush on me when I was a freshman in high school. She sent a creepy email about how she could stare into my eyes all day, so the next day I wore cop sunglasses. I don't think she got it, but I found it amusing.
Toe - I would ask what you did to get banned, but my guess is you don't remember. Reminds me of a day where rum drinking started at 6 AM, as opposed to ending at 5, having a ridiculous day followed by dinner with my mildly prudish father and step-mother. I liked that day.
FJ - Yeah, you're also allowed to go die in pointless wars before you can drink, legal age is 21 for drinking, I turned 21 last may. Ugh, that reminds me of the onslaught of calls from the marines I got from different recruiting officers for like two years.
Shirt says "I did wildcat volleyball", I got it at the goodwill the same day I bought a green shirt that has a black guy in a martial arts pose with a kick ass afro, standing behind a race car with a giant rainbow behind him.
Berty is hitting on me?
I'm cool with that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-13 13:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-13 17:54:04 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah...you look terrified..and guilty. what does your shirt say?
------------------------------------------
'I dig lapdancers' with the name and phone number of the strip club he went to underneath. They gave it away as a free promo.
not the best way to disguise his dirty secret, huh?!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-13 12:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah...you look terrified..and guilty. what does your shirt say?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-08-13 11:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The point of this post seems to be "I'm an idiot," and I really have nothing constructive to add to that. By your own admission, your financial situation is shit, yet instead of doing anything to improve it, you generate even more ways to slur your judgement and hemmorage cash. Then you go and and blog about it, indicating that you actually enjoy having something to bitch about (how exciting is prosperity after all?) My advice would be something like "stop being a fuck up and go do something productive," but that would most likely trigger some misanthropic Green Day-esque response, so let's not and say we did.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-13 09:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the most entertaining thing I've read in a while.
-P
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-08-13 08:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking wonderful, indeed.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2008-08-13 08:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I feel like a total asshole, Uber, and I look like a cock.
-----------
I concur.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-13 08:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only slightly retarded.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-13 05:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My Valentines present one year was a furry heart on a rose stem brought home from a strip club... Romantic huh?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-13 05:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-13 09:43:16 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love drunken random boozey nights. Last Friday was my birthday, and on that one night I managed to get banned from my local pub for six months, scored 8 free shots, and woke up in some random place in Blockhouse Bay with some english guy at 5am, got emmbarrased, decided to walk out of there, caught a cab to my exes house and got him to drive me home just in time to meet my mum at 9am to get our hair done.
I also have a fringe now.
----------------
What did you do to get banned?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-13 05:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So in the States you can be too young to drink but old enough to go to a strip-club?
That's wack.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-13 04:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love drunken random boozey nights. Last Friday was my birthday, and on that one night I managed to get banned from my local pub for six months, scored 8 free shots, and woke up in some random place in Blockhouse Bay with some english guy at 5am, got emmbarrased, decided to walk out of there, caught a cab to my exes house and got him to drive me home just in time to meet my mum at 9am to get our hair done.
I also have a fringe now.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-13 04:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A fine story from a fine fellow.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-13 04:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too funny.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-13 04:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uncharacteristically, huh? Bollocks. (emoticon)
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-08-13 03:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you look like my friend steve about 20 years ago.
he would have waited for the stripper though.
so you sir, are no steve
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-13 03:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes, those murderers eyes make someone CUTE
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-08-13 01:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm honestly still not sure which is worse, having the outline of a giant flesh baton on my face, or having to explain to my lady how three hundred dollars has disappeared from our joint account
_____
DUDE, you were going to fuck the stripper you just wasted 190 dollars on and it was coming from a joint account that your girl has access to?
man you are stone cold.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2008-08-13 01:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're actually kind of cute.
I always thought you were a chick. Good to know...
Submitted by Clamato (user info) at 2008-08-13 01:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
kinda chode-ish
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 23:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was mildly eerie, because Quinn really does enjoy choking during sex.
And one can accomplish the reach around with a clit, it's just a different technique is all.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-12 23:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You need a penis to get a reach around.
If he's not satisfying you, diddle your clit or have him choke you a little.
Or a lot.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In all seriousness though, how should I ask my boyfriend for a reach around? I mean, the sex is great the way it is, but I can't help but feel it could be so much *more*
I just don't know the right way to ask him...
(where's bubba when I need some emoticons)
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks like a coked-out version of Voldemort
=====
Awesome.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I doubt you were anywhere close to having sex, unless it was with your teen-age boyfriend.
======
HAHAHAHAHAHA I GET IT, BECAUSE I LIKE PENIS AS OPPOSED TO VAGINA, WHAT A MAN WOULD NORMALLY PREFER, BUT NOT ME, I LIKE THE PENIS, YOU GOT ME PEGGED PERSON HAHAHAHAHAHA GAY SEX, OH MAN
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
SEE?
http://thesuperficial.com/2007/11/jonathan_rhys_meyers_arrested.php
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I crawled into his bathroom and vomited extensively into his less than clean toilet"
Haven't we all?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It could have been a lot worse dude. Seems like you got out of this one a lot cleaner than you could have.
You have crazy-eyes like Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*her* customers
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Stripping is a sales job. A girl makes more money when their customers walk out thinking they could've fucked her.
I doubt you were anywhere close to having sex, unless it was with your teen-age boyfriend.
More likely she was laughing to the house mom about how she took Archie and Jugbreath for two bills in 45 minutes.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2008-08-12 22:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strippers are a scary kind of fun. I don't see the peener on your face, but I believe you if you say it's there.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-12 21:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look more frightened than anything. And good on you for bailing on the stripper sex. If you had stayed, your face might be the only thing you've got left resembling a dick.
Kidding.
Sort of.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-12 21:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
coo
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-08-12 20:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-12 20:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh god, do i have a million stripper stories...
strip clubs are really fun when you can afford to spend lots of money in them. who cares if you could have bought a brand new car instead of going to the strip club every weekend for the past month? brand new cars don't have tits, do they now??
i really need one of those people like drunks have that i can call when i'm about to fall off the wagon and go to a strip club and spend an entire paycheck.
fuck, it's time to load up a bowl and grab a cold one out of the fridge.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:36:43 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
It was the only time I thought about someone on uber without actually being logged in.
-----
<is honored>
And as it happens, I do agree with you.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:48:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The incredible slapping sound of wet, naked flesh on flesh, coupled with the sick crunching sound of the bully's ribs was so manly and homoerotic at the same time, that while experiencing the premature dropping of my tiny, eight year old balls, I had to suppress the urge to ass rape this kid as he lay crumpled and crying in a pathetic heap on the wet grass.
====================================================
Okay, now I really doubt that the coach was a female...
=====
At first I was highly confused, and barely remember writing most of that.
They're not drapes, just apartment blinds, although buying hotel drapes is something I would probably do if I could get away with it.
exp- haa, I keep having dreams where I'm fighting mountain lions now, except that I'm trying to keep this giant one from entering my sliding glass door, but he manages to get it open and maul my hand.
Hasn't progressed any further than that.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:36:43 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was the only time I thought about someone on uber without actually being logged in.
---------
you're not counting dreaming, then, obviously
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The incredible slapping sound of wet, naked flesh on flesh, coupled with the sick crunching sound of the bully's ribs was so manly and homoerotic at the same time, that while experiencing the premature dropping of my tiny, eight year old balls, I had to suppress the urge to ass rape this kid as he lay crumpled and crying in a pathetic heap on the wet grass.
====================================================
Okay, now I really doubt that the coach was a female...
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you steal your drapes from Motel 6 ?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the post, viewed the pic, read all reviews, logged in, got distracted by a bird that crashed into my window, and still beat you too it.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not worried about it, I just realized it was a good thing you didn't come over tonight. I've been up since 6 AM Monday morning and I'm sure I would have passed out the second alcohol touched my lips.
Which would have been nice for me, potentially boring for you, save for the extra surplus of booze in my absence.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and i ruined your perfect two. what an asshole i am.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn it, bobsandwich beat me to it.
also, you were at that bat for more like 45 mins, maybe an hour.
also, that night was ridiculously fun. i got free titties and booze merely for driving around the city for a few hours? done.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't made the point. But you did.
=====
I was just being nonsensical, anytime one discovers a man with a penis chin, they are pretty much required to spam insults.
I cannot remember if it was the same day, but I drunkenly ranted at a guest of Quinn's a few days ago about how everyone should have a garden at least once. In the middle of doing so I had the thought, "That skrapmetal fellow would agree with me!"
It was the only time I thought about someone on uber without actually being logged in.
Well, except for pleasuring experima with my chin, of course.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up the next morning on Quinn's coach to the sound of him leaving for work.
========================================
I certainly hope this coach was a female
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe I remember those days.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pointy-throated ass grabber
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't made the point. But you did.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot take all this experima abuse, I think I will retire to watch Sex and Fury...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070085/
Torrents are wonderful.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:23:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:21:11 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you think your adam's apple is phallic, then i feel sorry for your girlfriend
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ahaha, I mean I would argue, but what's the point?
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pointy is right. ouch!
oh, you said point
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har
you look less scrawny somehow
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 16:21:11 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you think your adam's apple is phallic, then i feel sorry for your girlfriend
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ahaha, I mean I would argue, but what's the point?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is truth a child could see. And be traumatised by.
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I KNOW MY CHIN LOOKS WEIRD, YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN SKRAP
Exp - That's because my facial and regular hair is constantly changing based on how lazy I am at the moment, couple that with a giant chin, freakishly long neck, and a protruding adam's apple and I can make myself look terrifying at will.
"Yeah by looking in the mirror! HAR HAR HAR"
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you think your adam's apple is phallic, then i feel sorry for your girlfriend
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always wondered what the maximum title length for a post was.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is truth a child could see. And be traumatised by.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you look different in every picture
i like your scruffy look best
scruffy
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-12 19:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
to cheer me up"
Heh, uber cut off my super cool title.
I've been awake since 6 AM on Monday, insomnia is awful, and I spent all my weed money on a whore...