dear america: (1093 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 82 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (View user info) at 2010-02-07 09:18:56 EST
Dear America it's SUPERBOWL MONDAY OVER HERE (i'm from the future shoot me i'll just deflect it with my futuristic deflectors) and *I* for ONE WILL BE WATCHING IT THROUGH BROWN COLORED (sic) GLASSES I'VE FASHIONED WITH BROWN COLOURED CELLOPHANE SO WHOEVER WINS IT WILL BE THE CLEVELAND BROWNS!!!!!!
I DON'T CARE FOR BA....INDIANAPOLIS even though they HATE THE RAVENS and I DON'T care for New Orleans even though they had a cyclone sorry - 'huh-re-kane' "oh we're soooo sowwy you got all wetted" but I *DO* CARE FOR SUPERBOWL MONDAY AND I LOVE THE BROWNS so as a mark of respect I'm wearing my away *WHITE* lol ANDRE RISON *BROWNS'* JERSEY EVEN THOUGH THAT CUNT ART MODELL TRADED ERIC METCALF FOR HIM IT'S ALL I'VE GOT BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I-CHASE-PARKED-CARS-PEYTON-SAGEING THROWS THE WINNING PASS OR THE WATERLOGGED JAZZ-FUNERAL NIGGERS WIN ALL I'M GONNA SEE IS CLEVELAND, CLEVELAND FUCKING WHO DAT IT'S CLEVELAND YOU FUCKING FUCKS AND WE'LL *STILL* GETTING FIRST PICK OF THE DRAFT *AND* SUPERBOWL RINGS SO STICK THAT IN YOUR BUDWEISERS INTERNATIONAL RESCUE AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, WHEN THE ADS ARE PLAYING? EVERYONE *ELSE* ON THE PLANET IS CHANNEL SURFING BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY - YOUR SUPERBOWL ADS SUCK!! YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF "HUMOR"(sic) AMERICA THAT'S WHY THE REST OF US WATCH DOC MARITN.
goooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BROWNS!!! EVERYBODY WEAR BROWN TODAY - OKAY!
User Reviews
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2010-02-12 01:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS: She's only had this Dime for about 8 months-- hell it's bigger than her.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2010-02-12 00:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger, want you (everybody) to chk out Jackie. (This isn't really her "best," but damn close.)
http://www.youtube.com/user/Jacqueline92
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2010-02-09 10:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
WOO caps
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2010-02-08 21:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How did you come to be a Browns fan? Have you been to Cleveland? If not, you probably shouldn't. Just saying.
Anyway I'm happy for the Saints on their first ever Superbowl appearance/win. Everybody gets one.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2010-02-08 19:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2010-02-08 00:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to love The Castle, knew all the words and everything, now it just annoys me. The last Australian film I watched was Lake Mungo, it was pretty creepy.
---
youre a fool. thats the best film this country has produced.
Submitted by ndn27 (user info) at 2010-02-08 12:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I lost 20 dollars on that effing game
last night.
F EVERYBODY ON BOTH TEAMS
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2010-02-08 11:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Browns Fan auto +2. Don't worry, one day we'll have a winning season.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2010-02-08 07:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Superbowl? More liek superghey.
God hates America.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2010-02-08 05:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put the prat in prattle.
Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-02-08 01:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I read enough to realize it was about football then immediately stopped caring.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2010-02-08 00:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to love The Castle, knew all the words and everything, now it just annoys me. The last Australian film I watched was Lake Mungo, it was pretty creepy.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2010-02-08 00:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You watch a pair of 80's trendy boots? (I’ll catch up later). Have been watching a lot of Aussie film lately, The Nugget, The Gods Must Be Crazy, Deck-Chair Danny, and one about a fam who lives near an airport but refuses to move and takes them to court, ahmmm, Last Train to Fairo (sp?). Point is, they kick ass. Theyre quirky and funny as all fuck—a bit like Brit flicks but diff, in a...rural way?
I need to watch more before speaking about them, but I love Aussie film. Nothing more.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2010-02-07 22:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Skrap, see post "Saints to win super bowl a tribute"--- you lost our bet, time to pay up on the uberboard.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2010-02-07 22:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't read any of this.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2010-02-07 15:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you play as the Browns, I suspect that merely being Australian, even a particularly android Australian, will not enable you to win.
Adroit, I meant. Not android. No idea where that might have come from.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 15:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You tell him Ducky! Dan Ran has been bleating about how he is naturally gifted at American Football, which utterly bewildered me until I remembered that his number one skill was stamping on blue ringed octopus and shouting 'crikey, there's a fair dinkum snake lolloping along in that there swannee'
and I don't even know what that means
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2010-02-07 15:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Timing the plays only, the actual playing time for the superbowl is between 10-11 minutes typically (somewhere in there)...the rest of the 5 squillion hour event is spent drinking beer and farting and getting fat eating chips. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it makes me wonder sometimes.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2010-02-07 15:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheJesusStrangler (user info) at 2010-02-07 13:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The utter ignorance on this site astounds me. Do any of you have above a 5th grade education?
==============
Yes, many of us do. Sorry if we make you feel ignorant and uneducated.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 14:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Carry on Poots," you said then whispered 'win it for big papa.' Then you wiped a tear from your eye.
"I smile and point at you and give you a head nod in slow motion then turn to look for the tight end who is in position now. My gaze grows tight like a cowboy. I shoot a look at the tight end then at your tight end then back at the tight end. He looks at me and is like, "THROW THE FUCKING THING ALREADY?"
And I unleash a bullet of a throw. It's spiraling like a tornado except it's being driven in perfect trajectory towards the outstreatched arms of the best damned tight end this league had ever seen. But in slow motion that takes like 2 minutes to play through.
Anyway He caught the ball at the 15 yard line and then muscled his way through the stupid weak defenders and scored his 40000th touchdown. And the crowd goes berzerk and little johnny can walk all of a sudden and people are just drunk off of what the were privy to witness as the last second ticked off and the referee shot his gun in the air to signal the end of the game.
Yay we won. woohoo.
Fuck, I blacked out...wtf is all this shit?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 14:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Are you crazy man?" Doctor Octopus asks me. "You must be, rocket rooster 54 blue white on wide center is a gimmick play."
"Fuck you in the beak Octopus. I've got the ball in my hands now run the damn play."
"Ok"
At that moment the loud speakers start blaring There goes my Hero by that band that wasn't as good as Nirvana and we all break with a clap and head in slow motion towards the line of scrimmage. Sweat is just pouring out of us like class 5 rapids and the men look worn but determined. Leather Head Larry looks back and forth a couple of times then so does Hoggy Sline Backer. Then everyone starts looking back and forth with crazy wide eyes.
I look back and forth and point out in the middle in a couple of different places still the middle but different places and bark out my commands in slow motion, 'cheeseburger plastic surgery cheeseburger,' without any commas.
The place goes quite except for a kind of weird ringing sound and I say "hut, hut, hut hut, hut, HIKE."
The offensive line men adjust and wait for the thundering bull rush of the d line in slow motion. Hands go here and hands go there pushing and swatting. I pull back and cock the ball to my ear and pump fake like it was a designed short route play trying to get the safeties to bite up and they do. Then the unthinkable happens. A d line man rushes right past Jerry Mcskippypants and is on his way to crack me in the face.
"Oh shit," I say in slow motion and dart the other way.
That's when you come running back, naked as hell, with a space laser in your hand, crying out,'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' in slow motion.
The d lineman was big maybe 600 lbs but he had a weak spot that was glowing orange and you tagged it a couple of times with your space laser pistol. He went down with a thud and the crowd cheered and then, all but the cheeky gay section who all did a sideways wide eyed look, laughed when they saw your downtown mishap on the huge screen.
"You just got elected sheriff of suck county mr 600lb behemoth why don't you start addressing that nasty unpaid parking tickets issue?" you said ignoring the laughs and taunts while crossing your arms and smiling like a crocodile.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 14:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The crowd pumps and moans with the music. Naked ladies are lighting bottle rockets and small children start throwing molotov cocktails at the field. There is a dancing bear holding a midget on his shoulder and he believes he is jesus christ.
"FUCK THAT THIS IS FOR THE WIN BOYS. I'M ASKING THIS ONLY ONE MORE TIME AND IF I DON'T GET THE RESPONSE I'M LOOKING FOR THEN POOTS IS GOING TO HAVE TO WIN THIS GAME FOR YOU INSTEAD OF MR.T'S ERECTION! ..............ARE YOU WITH ME?"
"SESAME STREET" we say.
You slump your shoulders, lower your head, and set a pace in my direction.
Rocky starts to sing and dance again and I stand erect and take the ball from you, give you a pat on the head and shoulders, and watch with distaste as you slowly grab for my penis. "Woah watch it boy go,' grabbing your slow shaking hand as I do, 'take your sorry ass to the showers but first,....' I say and grab you so tight it takes the wind right out of you. Then I unleash a thousand years of pent up homophobia with the Kiss of the Spider. Engulfed in me you quiver like a droopy vagina and upon release you wipe at your mouth and fling the excess onto the playing field.
You prop a hand on my shoulder and tell me,'give them hell old boy.' then whisper in my ear 'for thy king and thy country."
"Prep the shower and your o face sonny I'm driving this ball right up their asses and when I'm done I expect to be bathed like a king! Now get the fuck out of here. You're on b squad now."
"Give em hell lizard king.' you say with a wink.
"Don't worry,' I say with a quick scratch and sniff to the balls, 'I got this shit!"
"Be careful," you say batting your eyes.
"Get the fuck out of here," I say.
"ok," you say.
"Listen boys, we've got 39 seconds to pull this off. Mr. T, if anyone gets near me I want you to fuck them with your erection. Can do?"
"Yes, I love sex."
"OK then Rocky, I need you to call up blue mickey and get him to play eye of the tiger for you. Tell him not to fuck up on the intro you are gonna need that shit to keep your head together. I'm going for the old rocket rooster 54 blue white on wide center. Got it?"
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 14:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I take a knee between Mr. T and rocky from rocky one as the first down marker plops out of my ass.
"Yo, gimme the ball," says rocky like a dumb Mr. T.
"Shut the fuck up Rocky, you're dumb," you say to rocky.
"But I can dance," Rocky retorts and at that pulls out a racquetball ball and throws it way the fuck up in the air and finishes a jig while singing the entirety of eye of the tiger before it falls.
"See."
"Uh yeah we saw that but there's no time for that shit we got, poots check your ass,'
'40 seconds'
'40 seconds left in this gritty contest of man vs man. Are you willing to put your asses on the line...'
'I've put it on the line, in the line, and around it,' I queasily interrupt.
'Fuck Poots, never interrupt me while I'm talking asses.'
'Sorry,'I say then whisper, 'queer.' And everyone giggles a little bit.
You do a double take at me the second look saying 'listen boy I'm gonna make a man out of you after the game so don't go doing me favors by making this ass pounding your going to receive a religious experience for you.'
"no, right of passage," I say.
"what ever, listen dick holes we gotta shove this ball down their throats and make them enjoy the pig skinned taste of tanned leather......mr.t do you have an erection?"
"Jose say can you see, by the star spangled banner....HUHHHH?" says Mr. T who is caught in an awkward upward gaze with tears in his eyes and a hand on his black mamba.
"Yes, I think you do," you say.
We can run the ball right....no fake right Mr. T pull left then prepare to block for my sheath if I get close to being tackled I'm lateraling the ball to your erection. ARE YOU WITH ME?"
'yes' we say.
Submitted by TheJesusStrangler (user info) at 2010-02-07 13:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The utter ignorance on this site astounds me. Do any of you have above a 5th grade education?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do Australian robots dream of robot sheep?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How about one buys the shirt of the other nation and has to wear it and camwhore on uber?
You'd look WONDERFUL in the St George's Flag Dan Ran.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:36:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88760
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*yawn*
you bored me at 'thus' faggity anne. whatever i'm up for it put your money where your mouth is which is about a hundred feet up from your adams apple. If it was a real bet i'd enjoy winning lucky for you it'll be fun beating you anyhow. goodnight.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry.
America is closed for the day. We have a major concert tonight at around 8pm and we are busy preparing for it.
Try again at a later date.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
incidentally, that 'loss' against you impacted as massively on me as, for instance, Newcastle drawing with Stevenage under the aegis of Kenny Dalglish, to wit, a little embarrassing, but so clearly against the run of play and general form that it can be dismissed as an abhorrence.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:22:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The bet:
England will progress further than Australia in the next world cup.
The terms:
Team in question must beat the other team by one whole level otherwise it is a draw
Thus, if Australia get through the first round and then fall at the next hurdle and england do not go at least one stage further, the contest is a draw.
The stake:
One full tribute post by the other containing at least 10 GOOD pictures of the other team with an appropriate glowing testimony as to how impressed you were with that team's progress and players.
Examples might be "I thought England were desperately unlucky to go out in the semifinals, as they seemed a much stronger team than the opposition. It is a shame that Australia lost all 3 games and were voted worst team at the world cup, even worse than New Zealand"
Up for it Robot? my little liebling? Come on DanRan, but your ePosts where your eMouth is.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
man I need to go to bed it's like nearly fucking morning over here
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what there should be skrap? an online uber Maddens league, even though no other Australians would care except for maybe iddqd and I'd insist we play as the Browns, but we'd still beat you - because we're Australians and by definition much more adroit and brilliant.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:02:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah - bragging about a friendly victory in … 2002? 2001? when Sven changed our entire team at half time.
Next you'll be taking perverse joy from other's failures, as opposed to your own successes…
oh wait…
Craig Johnson was Shit.
Cahill is adequate, but he wouldn't get in the England team, and that's including the misfiring Gerrard.
----------
keep talking it up miniture head. Until you deliver (ie beat us) you're as good as your last result (which was, let me reflect on this, oh yes your first eleven CRYING in the sheds at halftime - your FUCKING CAPTAIN NO LESS, because sven wouldn't send them back out and they felt humiliated).
Jake, let's call a spade a spade. Kracka lol. but wait, back to the other spades. You can't STAND the fact that we beat you, played better football in germany and with a pissant population of 20 million, are ranked 14th or thereabouts last time I checked in the world. let alone that we win all sorts of shit. If we meet you in the last sixteen you will be shitting your pants, but I doubt you'll make it that far and poor old Capello will become the new sven, just in better armani ex-emporer's clothes.
and before you bluster and carry on, let me remind you that you're just repeating yourself, the same, lame duck who had to write me a tribute post four years ago because you.....how should I put this, blustered like a tard, again.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There should be an Uberbowl. There could be a big silver trophy, which would probably be immediately beaten into an urecogniseable lump and henceforth referred to as "The Wad". Teams like "The Trolls" and "The Something-to-do-with-Monkeys" would have fan clubs like "The Basement Dwellers" and "The Zoo". There would be Reefer-ees. Get-a-Life Coaches. Snort-a-Line Judges. I can see it. Can you see it? CAN YOU SEE IT? NOW MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Good talk.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
With Australia:
FIFA Confederations Cup: 1997 (Runners-Up)
With Dinamo Tbilisi:
Umaglesi Liga: 2007-2008 (Champions)
With Urawa Reds:
J. League Cup: 2003 (Cup Winners)
With Borussia Dortmund:
Bundesliga: 1994-1995 (Champions), UEFA Cup 1992-93 (Runners-Up)
uh huh.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 12:02:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah - bragging about a friendly victory in … 2002? 2001? when Sven changed our entire team at half time.
Next you'll be taking perverse joy from other's failures, as opposed to your own successes…
oh wait…
Craig Johnson was Shit.
Cahill is adequate, but he wouldn't get in the England team, and that's including the misfiring Gerrard.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oi, ladderneck. I think our most talented footballer was probably that craig johnson fellow, you should do some research and see just what he did to get to where he was. Then probably tim cahill, who scores every weekend in your county league, and then you should also look up Ned Zelic who single handedly tore apart a Dennis Bergkamp/Marc Overmars/de Boer brothers netherlands but retired because he thought our coach was crap - which he was. Of course you only remember Harry because he did a ned zelic on your lot - 3 nil at halftime wasn't it, ran rings around beckham not that he's a defender or footballer really but also your new, erm....'national captain'.... anyhow none of it's really relevant because the last time we met you we dusted you up and the last time we met the world champions they, oh that's right, beat us one nil with a dubious penalty. Okay well have a nice day in homo land.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Harry Kewell is the most talented Australian footballer ever.
that, my friend, is terrifying.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
imagine if you hadn't decided to be a giraffed neck toss. shut the fuck up bedstainsarewank, your gitlord nancyboys are going to buckle under the weight of expectancy and poor old fabio is going to wonder wtf he was ever doing taking your pasty curry explorers into "the group of also rans".
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Imagine if Christian Vieri had actually decided to be Australian.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
drogba is singlehandedly STUFFING arsenal
that's like 11 goals in his last 9 apps against arsenal.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care how old you are DanRan, I will BUM you.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shut up polly pissy pants
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:28:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DanRan - apparently you are a Bradford City fan. Is this true?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've also done bohemian rapsody -
SPECIAL TEAMS! FUCK, YOU ART we will not let him go
SPECIAL TEAMS! FUCK, YOU ART we will not let him go
SAY NO NNNNOOO! WE, WILL, NOT LET YOU GO
SAY NO NNNNOOO! WE, WILL, NOT LET YOU GO - AH!
go! No, go, NO, GO, NO!!
oh mama mia mama MIA
MAMA MIA LET HIM GO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-ZE BUB
HAS ART MODELL PUT ASIDE FOR ME- EE-EEEEEEE
FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EE-ee
forrrrrrrrrrrrrr MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<head bang>
dunnnnn-DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-DUNNN-DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN DUNN-DA-DA DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:27:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart, please reformat DanRan - this time with English language packs. Christ, even US English will do.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So GOOD - my songs.
bart please delete doodles
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
faggot robo auto -2
Geaux Saints
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's so COOL you have a penis.
If you weren't so caught up in my number one with a BULLET superbowl song, I also found the time to pen something to the tune of hotel california, an oldie but a goodie:
Welllll-COME, to CLEVELAND Monday
it's not sunday
But it's heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaaaaare
WelCOME TO FUCKING Sunday...
as long as yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....
are from yester-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
<do-do, do do do do do>
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poots to get you in the mood (not like i HAVE to) here's a little song I wrote to the tune of Suicide is Painless - you know the mash theme:
It-it's suu-per boe-el Monday
it's not exacty sunday
Ittttttttttt's THAT suu-per boe-EL MONDAY
TImmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme of yeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
<dun dah dun dahhhhhh, dun dahhh dun daaah....>
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 11:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have penis and testicles.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a man, right poots?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is me poots:
POOTS
pOOTS
HE'S OUR MAN....
iF he can't DO it,
well,
we could find some other person.
as long as they're a man.
----
SEE???
GO POOTS GO!!!!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU CAN DO IT POOTS
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well that's not very nice
okay bed for me, ima dream of you poots in neverland where I'm peter pan and you're that sheath I stick my pan short sword into. you run it to the fifty realise we've only one timeout and the clock's showing 43 seconds then you get hit by a safety who remembers everything taught to him at pre-season training, sticks out a hand to try and dislodge my sword from your sheath but you squeeze hard, take the hit but you're still midfield so I madly signal for a timeout but they can't place the down because it's embedded like a journalist in your country's epic and unilateral push into iraq but in your arse so there are guys running around with chains and throwing flags and it's like the cuban missile crisis all over again except for one thing......
i've also shoved the game-clock up your arse, so they can't stop it or more importantly UNSTOP IT if they can't find it, and you're ticking like the aligator in peter pan, and all we need if for you to get into field goal range, so that's ALL you have to do, nevermind that SOMEhow you knew there was only 43 seconds on the clock....see? My reviews are like the simarilion (sp) but fuck spelling, what's important is they don't contradict themselves. Now get that ball within field goal range.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what you're talking about, but you seem very enthusiastic about poop winning this game, so I'm all for it, really.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah DanRan, your obsession with other nation's sports is most endearing.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm back....I'm so sorry.
Can you return punts?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I think I'm over you dude.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
w-w-wait a minute that won't do. Okay how about we line up in the i formation and *I* hand it off right in your number - where you won't fumble.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO FUCKIN WAY! I'll hike/snap the balls into your manly, course from overly working hard metals hands, but I aint catching no mother fucking balls. That's for queers and wall street types that want to move up. I'm satisfied where I am.
I think we can watch a game and fondle ourselves without any problems, NO FUCKING EYE CONTACT QUEER, but..let's just start from there....see how it goes.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah i know, I remember thinking couch had been the gun college quarterback at the time and everything would work out like star wars or lord of the rings or even command and conquer. and now watching this season history's repeating itself. star recruit, no offensive line and a defence that wonders why it turns up to pre-season. poots you and i are now internet bff's forever, it doesn't mean we have to fuck but after a couple of drinks we probably could - but you're the wide receiver.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Couch played 99-05 or something like that and had no offensive line the whole time he was there. Poor guy.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no.
----
no, i didn't think so. i'm across that whole jim brown thing but it doesn't really count, no offence jim. I'm not say no 'offence' Jim i'm just saying...well, you get the picture.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 10:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay THIS time I'm REALLY GOING TO BED
somebody dripped condensation beads down into my keyboard......oh wait that was me.
you know i had this really good G15 logitech keyboard you know the very first iteration the one with the pop up lcd that you can't buy anymore and one day it just stop working - plugged it in and my computer said erm, no. i was pretty fucked off at the time because it had been working perfectly fine up until i'd moved my computer not to mention that everyone who was anyone was like hoo boy you better hang onto that sweet first iteration G15 keyboard they don't make them like that anymore and then all of a sudden - dead. and it wasn't me this time it was....it was............some inexplicable force of nature, that one that fucks me over on a whim - the same one that got me divorced and made the browns buy couch as first pick and convince themselves that they were going to build a team around him.....how long ago was that? sigh...
and thank you Judgement you're a very friendly alter.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:59:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<blinks>
the browns were good in the seventies?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol.
the browns are an awful franchise but my uncles and his seed are big fans because they were good in the 70's and they are about a 5 hour drive away. Also my boy Tim Couch used to get sacked on a regular basis for the browns so yeah, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BROWNS!
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright then I'm going to bed. Fuck everybody in the arse who thinks they're having fun today.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
okay, did you americunts know that over here in the future Jeff Saturday is known as Jeff Sunday?
well did you?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:41:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
EVERYBODY BUT MINI-ROBERT SMITH RESPOND
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes i am, watch.
Oi. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Warren Moon and the entire Oilers franchise leave Houston because warren found out Apollo was coming and said texas isn’t big enough for two entire moons?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay let’s get JOSH HOLME NO WAIT Josh GROBAN to sing FEBRUARY SONG
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nevar wan……blah blah blah go Cleveland yes GO!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No you're not
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm ignoring you morticia
OKAY EVERYBODY LET'S DUMB IT DOWN - GIVE ME AN "EL"!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ew I never watched ANY of those
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay EVERYBODY - give me a C!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whatever valerie you don't know anything outside of that vampire kiddie movie - so insular.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2010-02-07 09:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like football and I didn't really know that anyone outside the U.S. did.