Why I like Holidays (486 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.86 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <greywolffe.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-30 02:18:01 EST
A week before Easter I was angry.
"God Damn stupid floating holidays! There oughtta be a friggen law! Easter should be in April, and April only!"I yelled this lustily to anyone who would pay any attention.
A stupid goody goody tried to use reasoning with me.
SGG: "A holiday is a holiday. Use it to your advantage."
Me: "What friggen advantage? I have to work it, and my company is too cheap to give Easter as a payed holiday. This bites! Not to mention it just slips up on you, and there is no football on to make it better! Family, annoying friends, it just sucks!"
SGG: "Well, you can st..."
Me: "YOU CAN SHUT YER MOUTH!!!!"
As Easter loomed, closer and closer, my mood got worse and worse. Family about, people to speak to, all hell in my house! All I had to look forward to was working, and I hate that! Well, at least I would get out of the house...
That is until Good Friday. On good Friday we had a Spiral cut ham. Normally I hate ham, it is all salty and nasty, but this one was the best damn ham I have ever had! Fricken moist, not salty at all, and literally fell apart. Now me, being a pessimistic optimist(is there such a thing?), decided to look upon the bright side. Since I have started bringing my lunch to work so I can eventually buy a motorcycle, I knew this ham was a god send. So on Saturday I packed my lunch with relish.
Saturday night, in better spirits than I had previously been in the entire week over, I came home and saw, to my surprise, a huge fricken roast of beast! Now this roast beast was also very moist, full of flavor, and slid down the throat like water. a great tasting meaty water. Now I had 2, count them, 2 types of lunch meats to use when bringing my lunch to work, no more "balogna again?".
Sunday I awoke with a light heart. I wouldnt let the fact that I work fer a cheap company that wont pay for a HOLY DAY get me down. Or the fact that I would have to work period on a holiday. I go to work, didnt kill anyone, and come home. What is waiting for me when I get there? A buttery fresh turkey! It, of course, was done perfectly, and had all kinds of "fixins", dressing, cranberries, beans, everything. To top everything off, we had chocolates, and a foine desert.
I ate my share, and then had a dilema.
What to have for lunch tomorrow?
Thanks fer dying, so I may partake of these fine repasts, Jebus!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
cute
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-30 11:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
boo - beans
yay - this post
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-03-30 07:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Which raises the question, What Would Jesus Eat?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-03-30 06:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Easter was the worst EVAR. I didn't get an Egg, I didn't get to see my family, I didn't get a roast lunch. I sat on my own and watched crap tv whilst all my friends went to their families and ate chocolately eggy goodness and meaty based tastiness.
Now I know how Jeebus felt.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-03-30 06:06:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought roast beast was only a ficticious food from Whoville.
?
And how can you hate ham? Why am I +2ing this, you jerk!?!
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-03-30 05:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even in death the Big J helps us by giving excuses to have delicious meat. It isn't a holiday unless there you eat something that had a mother damnit!
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-30 05:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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