Episode 3: Terry the Turtle Amphibian - "The Debriefing - not the VIP room, or a frat party." (875 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger Ranger <harveyra.at.iprimus.com.au> (View user info) at 2005-06-18 07:48:56 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68358 - pilot (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68377 - pilot (episode 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68389 - pilot (episode 3)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68404 - pilot (episode 4)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68493 - pilot (episode 5)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68631 - series (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68753 - series (episode 2)
Gary the Glass Tank Aquarium paced the floor of the control tower. He was very worried. Debriefing was at 13:00 hours, and there was still no sign of Rainbow Roger Delta Force.
"Gury," sudd Wally Water, "Ah'm vurry worried. Rainbow Roger Delta Force should 'ave bun buck an 'our ago.."
"Oh, stop fretting old chap," sudd Gury in his bust Flight Brigadeers voice, "Rainbow Roger Delta Force are the pride of the aquarium, highly trained specialarsts who would cut your throat as soon as you sat down in the barber's chaar."
Flight Brugadeer Gury raised 'is binoculars and scunned thar horizon. "There's nothing to worry about, Wally, you old nana, Rainbow Roger Delta Force is in good hands. Squadron Leader Terry's top drawer, Eaton, Sandhurst, he's from fine stock. His father is a very important sea turtle, an admiral no doubt, and his mother, a comely wench, is from the aristocracy, her blood's bluer than a jerry scat film."
"Wull, that IS a relief." Wully replied. "Shud Ah tull thar lads to guther in thar debriefin' room, thun?"
Flight Brugadeer Gury lowered 'is binoculars ahnd wutched thar rugiment below. Stickio the Log sat in ah firetruck, shieldin' 'is eyes frum thar sun ahnd chewin' 'is bark.
"Yes, Wally, tell the regiment the debriefing's a go, go, go."
"Rarrt you are, Sir." But instud of leavin' to issue thar order, larrk, Wully stood ahnd watched the Brugadeer.
Flight Brugadeer Gury 'alf turned 'is 'ead and sudd, "Speak your mind, Wally, we're all friends here."
"Wull, it's just thart... wull, lut me just say thart you ahnd Ah are thar only people 'ere, in thar control tower, larrk, ahnd thart's why we're all frunds 'ere.."
"Go on, man, say your piece.."
"Wull, mar Ah also add thart as far as thar rugiment's cuncerned, wull, thar's just Stuckio, whuch, wull, doesn't make for a rugiment as such, more larrk an induvidual, Ah'd say.."
"Bollocks. This is my adventure, and I'm in charge. Now, tell the men to gather in the debriefing room, on the double."
"Yus, Sir!"
Flight Brugadeer Gury continued to scun thar horizon for thar telltale specks of thar retunin' 'ighly trained spucialarsts...
"Thank god, here comes Batfink, jolly good. Hello there, Batfink, I trust the mission was a success?"
"Yus, Sir, all prusent ahnd accounted for! Jerry is a surry sight ahnd wull done for."
"Good show. Where's Cockroach?"
"Oh... wull, if 'e wuz prusent, we'd be all accounted for, larrk, but Cockroach wuz cuptured, Ah'm afraid.."
"Damn shame, and double-damn Jerry!! Poor blighter, oh well, where's Terry?"
"Turry? Oh, Turry's on 'is way, he wuz talkin' about Crete but..."
"Crete!!?? Oh, he's a terrier, that one. One front at a time, I say, what, what!! Well done, Batfink - well done! Right, let's join the regiment in the debriefing room, Turry can take Crete and make his own way home.."
Thar debriefing room wuz a hive of actuvity. Thar was actuvity in thar corner at thar buck ahnd also at thar other corner directly opposute ahnd even towurd thar front.
"Right then, chaps," sudd Flight Brugadeer Gury, "I'm sure you'll all be very pleased to here that Rainbow Roger Delta Force's mission was a complete success!"
"HOOR-RAY!!" sudd thar regument.
"Settle down, settle down. Right - Jerry's on the back foot and suffered considerable losses, to our none!"
"HOOR-RAY!!" thar regument was evar so 'appy.
"Everyone is present and accounted for, except for Cockroach, and Turry."
"Where'sa Cockroach?" asked Stuckio.
"Wull," sudd Butfink, "Cockroach was captured at thar bridge over thar river Kwai..."
"By thar Japs!!?" asked Wully.
"Nooo.. bar Jerry." sudd Butfink.
"Whata wasa Jerry doin' ata the river Kwai?" asked Stuckio.
"Wull, Stuckio, Jerry is ubiquitous, comes wuth the territory, you know, world domunation an' all.."
"Oh 'er.." sudd the regument.
"Right, well, we'll just bust him out, then.." sudd Flight Brugadeer Gury.
"Wull... you cun't, Ah'm afraid.." Butfink replied.
"Why evar not, chappy?"
"Wull, 'e's, larrk, dudd."
"DEAD?? Speak sense, man. Is he captured by Jerry or dead??"
"Dudd. Dudd as HadToBeDone's uncy wuncy peener without the tublets, Sir."
"Gentlemen - hats.."
The regument removed thar hats evar so respectful larrk...
"He shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old,
age shall not weary him, nor the years condemn.
at the going down of the sun and in the morning,
we will remember him."
"Sir?" sudd Wully.
"Yes, Wally?"
"'E mussed 'is mum."
"Ahnd debriefing.." added Flight Brigudeer Gury.
Ahnd wuth thart the regument luffed ahnd luffed.
User Reviews
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2010-02-09 04:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Writer’s block is an "illusion," self-induced. Why? Because, for whatever reason, at this particular time, you would rather not write than write.
Examine that, and the reasons.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-09 04:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't had sex in years. If by cure you mean stop my old heart and as a consequence death stop my my 'writer's block', sure - I guess sex could work. It could also cure anxiety attacks, my insomnia, peanut m&m cravings and my needing to compulsively obsess over whether I should fold my t-shirts sleeve against sleeve or sleeves across back.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2010-02-04 07:55:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sex could cure your writer's block.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 06:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
see you De.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2010-02-04 06:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The dialogue was not difficult to understand, what I said was, it was a bit difficult at first to get used to, like after about 3 sentences, then I just started listening to the words, and they flowed effortlessly. I liked the uniqueness of it; it wasn’t at all something to be “overcome” but simply to adjust to.
Don’t change the dialect or the turtle patois if you ever continue the story—that’s part of its soul. Well, enough of my advise—even I could be someone’s character/alter, but that would be for the best. Why? Like Oscar wilde says, “Give anyone a mask and they’ll tell the truth.”
Actually that’s the essence of Ubersite, everyone here wears a mask.
--later, and take my advise about listening to your characters when you're not trying to write, that's when they're really trying to break on through--- if you'll listen.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 06:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 06:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I asked him if he meant 'shifted' and he said no he definitely meant lifted.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 06:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hm i'm not so sure they're very difficult to understand even for me and people kept calling me incoherent all the time which was quite frankly hurtful.
besides I've moved onto pasting heads onto little bodies it requires far less dialogue and as snark once pointed out the general, overall mood of uber seemed to have 'lifted' since I'd contracted serious-writer's block.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2010-02-04 05:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The “eye dialect” was a bit difficult at first, then it simply flowed when I stopped trying to read, but just listened. If that makes sense.
Now, something similar can unblock you: when you’re lying in bed, showering, etc, --doing anything but trying to write -- try the same. Don’t think, just listen to the characters talking, about ANYTHING. Soon they’ll be talking so much you’ll rush to your pc or notebook to scribble down some of the better lines.
Don't try to write, just let them talk-- toss them a subject to discuss to get them started --and listen.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 05:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i can't continue it
i have serious-writer's block :(
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 05:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2010-02-04 05:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn’t start halfway through, I read all and picked out a fave line from one episode to leave as a review representative of the whole. (Rob directed me to pic he’d used to make drawing, which I’d looked for days earlier, days earlier is when I began reading.)
I'd like to see the story continue. Outstanding.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-04 04:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cakes why did you start Terry halfway through the first season
that's like only watching the third season of Doc Martin and not realising he once had a different receptionist
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2010-02-04 03:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old,
age shall not weary him, nor the years condemn.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-06 17:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-08 20:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Hadley.. he's taking it in this series, isn't he?
well.. maybe that's just to even things up for selling my pictures on the internet
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-06-21 00:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha...ok now that I actually read it it's pretty good. Hey people, check out my Photoshop contest entry: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68953.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-20 23:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-18 19:57:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 19:37:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 11:05:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68821
Terry Camwhores!
--------------------------------
And you reckon his tank's an adequate size. Isn't that what you tell Williamson about your dick?
------
Ranger! a bit below the belt!
-==--=-=-==-
That's just fucking low full stop.
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-06-20 22:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
mandatory -2 for linking to Goatse
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-18 19:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 19:37:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 11:05:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68821
Terry Camwhores!
--------------------------------
And you reckon his tank's an adequate size. Isn't that what you tell Williamson about your dick?
------
Ranger! a bit below the belt!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 19:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 11:05:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68821
Terry Camwhores!
--------------------------------
And you reckon his tank's an adequate size. Isn't that what you tell Williamson about your dick?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 11:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68821
Terry Camwhores!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-18 10:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only look at the pictures. This series is way to exciting for me.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thirty seconds, beat my record..
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY!!
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucktard.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:53:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
The most endearing thing about this entire series is the narrator speaks in accent.
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The most endearing thing about this series, is, from a seri-arse writer's point of view, you don't have to worry about typo's.
Here ends teh reviews..
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you throw enough rocks at Terry's head you I reckon you could make Thorpe cry. I nearly did it once.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dachsie burped on my head the other day.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 08:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I heard Terry burp once.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do they talk all kiwi/ringo to ya?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The funny thing is, I'm actually sitting in a room RIGHT NOW with Gary Glass Tank, Walio (whatever) Water and Terry the Turtle Amphibian.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dudd as HadToBeDone's uncy wuncy peener without the tublets
-------------------
You got issues.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The most endearing thing about this entire series is the narrator speaks in accent.