A funeral (629 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CATAL (View user info) at 2006-05-15 19:14:20 EDT
A work of fiction.
I've always had a strange fascination with cemeteries. But oddly enough, this is the first time I've ever been in one. The first funeral I've ever been to.
I think I might enjoy it, if I didn't have to see everyone.
I'm late anyway, though, and decide to hang back.
I perch myself on top of a tombstone and light a cigarette. I can just barely hear the murmur of the eulogy.
I see my dad sitting in the front row. The old bastard looks like he's crying.
I recognize a few other faces, but no one I would want to talk to, my father included.
Everyone is dressed up all in black. I look at my own clothes in comparison. The same oil stained shirt from the station with my name stitched on. The same ratty jeans.
Uncle Jack...
I suppose I should feel something. Sorrow, nostalgia, something. I don't know. He was a good man, but now he's dead. Shit happens, right?
I don't know.
I take another drag of my cigarette and suffer a sudden coughing fit.
Luckily no one turns my way. If I can leave without being noticed it'll be a relief.
Someone is approaching me though. Two women. One looks like she's in her sixties the other late twenties or early thirties. I don't recognize them.
They must not be here for Jack's funeral. They're not wearing black.
I don't look at them as they walk past.
But they don't walk past. They stand right in front of me and look at me as if I just walked over their grave.
I don't say anything. Just scuff the ground with my shoe.
The old lady clears her throat and the young one says, Excuse me.
I look up and raise my eyebrows, remaining silent.
You're standing on top of my father, she says in a slow halting manner.
I look at the tombstone I'm leaning against:
BARTHOLOMEW MARTIN
MAY 11TH 1934 - AUGUST 3RD 2004
With the cigarette still in my mouth I get up and turn to the grave.
Happy birthday Barty, and walk away.
I hear them murmuring as I walk away but I don't pay any attention. I edge past Uncle Jack's funeral.
...had no children but was like a father to many... the priest is going on as I make my way to the other side. Far enough away not to be noticed.
Jack was like a dad. Two dads and no mom. And my relatives will ask me why I'm not married.
I can see the gravedigger just a little bit away from me, waiting to bury Uncle Jack. I make my way over to him and offer him a cigarette. He takes one and I hand him a book of matches.
We stand there in silence smoking cigarettes.
Friend of yours? he asks.
I take a drag and nod.
He nods too and takes a hit from a flask. Offers it to me and I take a swallow.
I make a face as it goes down.
The gravedigger's wearing dirty overalls and muddy boots. He smells of earth and whiskey. He's got a bulbous red nose and small squinty eyes. He wears one of those wool Irish caps and has a Boston accent. Seems strange seeing as Boston is over 500 miles from here.
He leans up against his shovel smoking. Reminds me of a painting I saw once.
Everybody dies ya know, he says suddenly, but not everybody lives.
I stand there a moment, taking one last hit from my cigarette, then step on it and mutter, Yeah.
Thanks for the drink, and I head over as I see the funeral seems to be ending.
I always wondered what happened after a funeral. Turns out nothing.
Everyone mills about for a minute as if confused and not knowing where to go. Then slowly, one by one they separate, say their goodbyes, and head off to their cars and their lives.
I stand off to the side a bit not wanting to talk to anyone, but I'd still like to pay my respects.
My father is the last to leave. He just stands over the grave and looks down. I walk up beside him and he looks up at me.
I'm glad you came is all he says.
He puts his hand on my shoulder as we look down at the coffin. Then as if he doesn't know what to do next he just lets it slowly slide off.
We stand there for a while not moving. Not saying anything. The gravedigger eventually comes over, tired of waiting for us. Makes no effort to engage either one of us. Just starts filling in the grave.
Goodbye Uncle Jack, and I turn to leave.
Stan, my dad says after a few steps.
I stop and pause, waiting. He doesn't say anything else and I just walk off.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-16 23:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good stuff.
I like debating stuff with critics too, so I think I get it. It's not that you're angry or think they're wrong, it's that you like getting across your point of view. It's more interesting to talk to them about it than just to say nothing.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-16 17:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-16 17:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Agree'd formatting was to bomk but great read.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-16 13:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i had trouble with the formating, i wrote it on word with no spaces or paragraphs and it read fine, but if i had posted it like that it would have been an intimidating and illegible block of text.
i tried to put the breaks in appropriate areas, but it still came out weird.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-16 10:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How DARE you leave a review questioning someone's opinion who questions the plausibility of a story based on the assumption that everyone on the planet has visited a cemetery? I swear, CATAL, your audacity knows no bounds.
/sarcasm
Something about the format/style of this piece was a little-- strange. Well, maybe that's not the word for it. I don't know, really. It didn't detract from its readability or flow in the least. Maybe that's what you were going for. Either way, it's a good piece.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-05-16 09:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-16 07:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice one..
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-05-15 23:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this
And want to read more
And for the record, Liar, I agree... you were asking not attacking. I know grown men who have never been in a cemetry too. also my father is quite certain he'd dissolve if he stepped into a church. Ha ha
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-15 22:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
also, i was genuinely curious why he thought it was unrealistic. i just didn't understand. he explained his point of view and now i understand where he was coming from.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-15 22:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, i didn't realize i was flying off the handle.
and just so we're clear, i have never been in a cemetary.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-05-15 21:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crayon (user info) at 2006-05-15 20:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i really enjoyed this i love morbid shit so yeah,....... thanks
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one. ...the first time I've ever been in one.
What grown man has never been to a cemetary? It just threw me off, and I had trouble reading the rest of the story because that (...the first time I've ever been in one) was nagging me. That's all, so calm down.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:22:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but I don't get how that isn't plausible.
-------
i've seen you do this and it aggravates me. (even though i'm sure i probably do it too).
if someone critiques you and you don't agree, there's no reason for a rebuttal. they're offering their opinion, criticism, etc. why would you want to argue?
just read it and say "k"
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but I don't get how that isn't plausible.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i listen to Good Charlotte
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ehhhh...
"I've always had a strange fascination with cemeteries. But oddly enough, this is the first time I've ever been in one."
That just killed the realism for me. A little hint: when writing short stories, make sure the reader can read it all the way through without stopping to question the plausibility of it.
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2006-05-15 19:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bootiful.
Great pic too.