Lawyers, Jesus, The Secret Service, Self Publishing, And Rizzo's Chew (8413 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.76 on 230 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bart Cilfone <uberuser.at.cilfone.com> (View user info) at 2006-08-30 23:17:33 EDT
How do I love Ubersite? Let me count the ways...
1) Making fun of people's chidren.
This past Friday, I got a call from someone at Voxel, the company that hosts the Ubersite server. He was very polite and detailed to me how he had gotten a notice from some lawyers in Missouri accusing one of his clients (me) of copyright infringement. The lawyers were representing a company named Growing Family that has a site which allows people to upload pictures of their newborn babies and share them with family and friends. It seems that some miscreants on Ubersite had copied some pictures from that site and uploaded them to Ubersite as part of an unauthorized derivative work. Specifically, the derivative work was to take pictures of babies and add comments regarding their appearance, race, and legitimacy.
The lawyers also noted that people were leaving tasteless comments on their client's website which were causing emotional distress to the parents' of the babies, violating their own Terms of Service, and threatening their business.
Whether their business succeeds or their users are happy is of no legal consequence to me, but there's a certain morality involved with promoting the idea that people should go and make fun of pictures of strangers' babies. I don't really want to be associated with that kind of thing, so I don't want to see any more posts on that topic.
The copyright infringement part of it is legitimate in that neither I nor anyone here has any right to reproduce the photos and other copyrighted work (logos, backgrounds, etc.) from their site. Because of this, I had to write some new uber code that strips the attachment from a post and puts a note at the top describing why the attachment is gone.
That said, I actually laughed out loud while reading part of the lawyer's letter. Below, I am quoting two paragraphs from the letter: the first is fairly common legal text and the second is the kind of legal text you would only ever see in a legal letter about Ubersite.
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Growing Family demands that you cease and desist transmission of the above-identified web pages and all images from those pages. Growing Family also demands that you provide all information that would identify the original posters of these three postings, including but not limited to names, physical addresses, email addresses or IP addresses. Do not destroy any evidence of the posters' identities, as this would amount to destruction of evidence and may subject you to additional liability.
These concerted attacks on Growing Family's business cause injury to Growing Family and are a hateful and shameful insult to the parents of and children on Growing Family's website. In addition to violating Growing Family's rights, the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies.
----------
2) Jesus is my homeboy no more
Not as exciting as #1 but is a nice reason to mention Jesus. I got another letter, this one from an artist who has a website of drawings of depictions of Jesus doing whatever it is that Jesus does.
Turns out that there was a post on Ubersite that again contained various unauthorized reproductions of these images as part of a derivative work. The post was actually very funny, but probably not to the kind of person that would spend the time to paint sixty different pictures of Jesus.
Anyway, since I had to make the "illegal attachment" code for #1, I also used it here.
3) The United States Secret Service
This one is from a couple months ago now. I got an email one day from someone claiming to be from the US Secret Service and they wanted me to email or call them. They didn't say why and I was pretty sure they hadn't found out about my massive counterfeiting scheme, so I figured it was spam or someone fucking around.
Imagine you get an email like:
----------
Bart,
My name is Dave Smith from the United States Secret Service. I'd like to talk to you. Please call my office at (703) 555-1212.
Dave Smith
United States Secret Service
----------
I read it like a Nigerian money scam or one of those "UPDATE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AT http://www.citibank.com.stealyourpassword.kr/" emails. So naturally, I ignored it, but I kept around because it was a unique kind of spam.
Separately from this, I was having a problem in my condo with water leaking through the bathroom ceiling. It was the upstairs neighbor's bathtub leaking, but I had called the building maintenance guy to come over and take a look at it.
Now we fast forward a couple days. It's a Tuesday morning, maybe 9am and I am in bed. I hear a knock on the door and think "Damn Bob [maintenance guy], why are you hear so early?". I walk to the front door in nothing but my boxers, no glasses on so I can't see, open the door and... there's nobody there.
What the hell? Then I hear another knock. Now I realize it's coming from the back door. I walk through the place to get to the back door and I open it up expecting to see Bob.
Instead I see a badge attached to an arm attached to a suit.
"Hi, my name is Joe Smith from the United States Secret Service, do you mind if I come in?"
Well this isn't good. I run through the list of things in my head...
* Taxes paid? check
* No drugs laying out on the table? check
* Firearms all stored safely? check
* Briefcase of cash and Thai child slave labor locked up in closet? check
I tell him he and his partner can come in.
"Is there anyone else here with you?"
"No."
"Do you have any weapons in the house?"
"No."
I walked into the bedroom and put my glasses and pants on. He asked me to take everything out of my pants pockets and put it on the bed. I noticed he had a gun on his hip. His partner walked through the rest of the place to make sure there was nobody else there.
"So are you the owner of a website called Ubersite?"
[to self] "what the fuck now" Yes, I think in lowercase and without punctuation. "Yes."
We proceeded to talk about general things for a few minutes and then got to the reason why they were here. It turns out that someone had posted on Ubersite a message title "Kill George Bush" in which they advocated that GWB was such a bad president that someone in the US should kill him. For all those reading this, I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS ADVOCATION. YOU WERE NICE PEOPLE BUT I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
He handed me a printout of this post and then I read it and sure enough, it was advocating assassination which even jokingly is generally considered a no-no in the US.
They wanted to know what I knew about this person named "shitfuck". Unbelievable. The Secret Service is at my home saying the word "shitfuck".
I don't know him. His email address is on the site. The only thing I was actually able to supply was an IP address and a cursory lookup of that revealed that he was not in the US. Had it been something debatable, I could have requested a subpoena, but it seemed that since they had gone out of their way to go this far in the first place, they would have taken the extra step to get a subpoena and then probably planted a kilo of cocaine in my toilet tank. JUST KIDDING GANG! THE SECRET SERVICE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING! USA!
All in all, they were very nice and didn't make any outrageous threats or anything like that. I had hoped that my first encounter with the feds would be a little more dramatic, eg. "Where's Razor? You know his underground network! WHERE IS HE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" with guns drawn etc., but that wasn't the case. I guess that means there's room for improvement.
4) Ubersite Inspiring Self Publishing
For those of you who've been around here for a while, you may remember a user named Mac who posted a bunch of good stuff over a few months and then hasn't come back in a couple years. Well, I got an email from him telling me that he had written and self published a book, partly because of the experience and feedback he got from posting on Ubersite. That kicks ass.
He sent me a copy of the book which I've been reading and it's very encouraging to me for the first official Ubersite book looming in the near future. His book is a series of short stories of first person recollections of interactions with friends, roommates, family, etc. "All stories are 100% completely true recollections with absolutely no embellishment, whatsoever. I promise."
Everything I've read so far has been entertaining and I would encourage anyone to check it out as long as they are not offended by pretty much anything.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?path=ASIN/0977992608&tag=ubersite
5) Rizzo's Chew
The trip I took to Atlantic City and NYC last fall was awesome for a lot of different reasons. This is not one of those reasons. This is unrelated to everything above but is worth a couple extra paragraphs here.
I went to AC to meet up with a bunch of friends. At one point in time I would have called the "people from Ubersite", but as of now, they're pretty much just friends. Loren, Nicole, Jared, Apollo the Brit, and someone else I'm forgetting... ah yes, Rizzo. Rizzo. That name would take on a new meaning by the time this trip was finished.
It happened one night at the bar in the hotel. We were sitting around drinking, laughing, having good times. After a couple of hours, different people were buying rounds of drinks and your next drink was always sitting on the table.
I was drinking mine peacefully and Loren's boyfriend made a comment like "What the hell is this? This tastes like shit!" in reference to his drink. I looked at it and it had a bit of a reddish tint to it making it look a little fruity. I told him I would try it to see what it was.
I noticed that it was a lot darker at the bottom of the cup, so I mixed it up and couldn't really tell what this extra ingredient was. After mixing, I took a sip and said out loud "This is fucking disgusting. What is this? Seriously, what the fuck is this?"
At that point, someone who hadn't been paying attention said "Oh, that's the cup that Rizzo used to spit out his chew. I wouldn't drink that."
What?
Yes, that magical ingredient was snuff. Chewing tobacco. Chewing tobacco spit out of Rizzo's mouth into a cup that had a drink in it.
There was a brief delay in our reaction, but Loren's boyfriend and I simultaneously had the same look of disgust on our face and yelled "Agh! God, what the fuck, holy shit, this is sick" etc. trying not to vomit on the spot. He left and went up to the room to brush his teeth and gargle some Drano. I did what any self respecting drunk would do and finished the drink that didn't have any chew in it. When Rizzo came back down and I told him what happened, he laughed so much I didn't think he would ever stop. He patted me on the back and said "How'd I taste?" and I replied "Fuck off".
I ended up being alright, everyone had a good time, and I won about $1000 playing poker while I was there, but to this day, my most powerful memory is the taste of Rizzo's chew.
And none of this would have been possible without all of you. Assholes.
User Reviews
Submitted by Harmon (user info) at 2008-11-21 14:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha!
Submitted by langstrom (user info) at 2008-11-21 13:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
how did rizzo taste?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-14 14:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-30 16:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the best website in the world.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-30 16:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-04 12:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. Long live the First Amendment.
And Long Live Bart!
and o by the way, I was at AC too. I know, I know, I'm like a ninja.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-17 18:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilarious.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-17 17:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, wonderful.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-04-05 21:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The example is done.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-12-19 00:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-09-21 01:19:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking awesome. Bart, you rule.
******************
The Secret Service. Jesus.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-12-16 07:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92461#2172038
Bwahahahahaha.
I wish I had been the one to tell him that.
Submitted by DonSturgeon2003 (user info) at 2006-11-02 02:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-10-23 17:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY SHIT ITS LOREN
How the hell you been woman?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2006-10-23 16:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss you Bart.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-15 22:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it possible to ban reviews unless the user has had a single post?
Not necessarily a positive post, but anything? No need to become too much like pulsehead.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's awesome.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorpe, you're a fucking twit of epic proportions.
Hold down "control (ctrl)" and scroll your mouse wheel up and down
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-06 09:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
QUICK THE FRONT PAGE IS DOING IT NOW
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-05 08:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A one-and-a-half spaced smaller font?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-05 08:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me or at a certain time for a period of maybe a few hours does Ubersite change to a smaller font?
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the updates.
Funny stuff.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-09-21 01:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking awesome. Bart, you rule.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-21 00:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rizzo:
You reckon anyone would be up for Texas?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-21 00:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He sent me a copy of the book which I've been reading and it's very encouraging to me for the first official Ubersite book looming in the near future. """"
I want in!!
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-09-20 23:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm STILL laughing.
When are we all going to hang out again?
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-09-20 16:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Disclaimer for the benefit of the Secret Service:
All comments made by cuberat within the forum known as Ubersite are for satirical purposes only and are not meant for human consumption.
</end disclaimer>
Whew. Now back to my liberal rantings...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-15 04:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what if I promie to be good?
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-09-14 09:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Bart...
Really it wasn't that popular a post. I didn't even bother posting the already completed sequel cuz I figured the original was subpar. Still, I wonder how the original artist even found it?
I think someone narc'ed
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-09-12 14:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
youcancreateawebsitebuttryingtofeelpowerfullbyplayinggodtothesimpleminededearnsyouthis.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-09-06 03:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ Method, ODU is in Virginia, not West Virginia.
BART, COULD YOU PLEASE GET MY FRIEND JOHN AN ACCT?!!?!??!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!
FOR FUCKS' SAKE.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-06 02:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-09-02 23:46:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2006-08-30 23:28:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
"These concerted attacks on Growing Family's business cause injury to Growing Family and are a hateful and shameful insult to the parents of and children on Growing Family's website. In addition to violating Growing Family's rights, the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies."
Best legal document ever. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the room with whoever had to type that up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go look at the legal brief Tucker Max posted regarding his Anthony DiMeo lawsuit a few months back. He was sued for harassing this guy over the internet (read: making fun of him on his message board) and the brief contained comments left by users on that site about this stupid Christmas card with his picture on it that he sent to all his friends.
"What was the photographer saying to cause those facial expressions? Okay, pretend you're being raped by a gang of angry gorillas! Yes! Now pretend a leper is stirring your drink with his cock!"
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-05 18:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like you've made ETS cry Bart.
BAD BART!
BAD BAD BAD BAD BART!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-09-05 16:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the secret service? i knew it had to come to this. good laugh.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-05 12:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92670
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-05 12:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-05 00:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
D'oh!
I miss all the good stuff.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-09-04 18:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty fucking funny.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-04 15:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GODAMMIT MY NAME IS ERIC D. RICE OF WEST VIRGINIA, ALUMNI OF OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY
GET IT RIGHT YOU ASSHOLE
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-03 21:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Below me, George.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-03 20:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fag below
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-03 20:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92596
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-09-03 19:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, they ask you about shitfuck and not ETS?
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-09-03 19:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOHOOOOOO!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-09-02 23:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2006-08-30 23:28:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
"These concerted attacks on Growing Family's business cause injury to Growing Family and are a hateful and shameful insult to the parents of and children on Growing Family's website. In addition to violating Growing Family's rights, the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies."
Best legal document ever. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the room with whoever had to type that up.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Secret service guys actually have a sense of humor, which is cool.
Not like those punks at FAA.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-09-02 21:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I asked Bart "How'd I taste?" I wasn't talking about the chew.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-02 19:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Some people make mundane moments into long, overly dramatic posts. "Oh my god, I was at this party one day and this girl said..." type stuff.
You do the exact opposite. You make exciting and amazing things sound ordinary. Quite odd.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-09-02 00:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, you did the best thing you could do after drinking someone else's spit and chew (Jesus, that's nauseating)--chase it with the closest glass of strong alcohol to kill the germs. I would've wanted to do a few shots of 151 after that. Gross!
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-09-01 21:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You handled those government bastards very well.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-01 20:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this site.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
always worth it
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha nerd
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:57:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:24:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Secret Service have ZERO jurisdiction in Canada.
----------------------------------------------------------
Bull shit. They can expedite anyone they want on legitimate grounds. And with internet law - if Shitfuck has violated any American laws, technically he did it IN American as Uber is based out of the States. Fucked up - but true.
See also the Patriot Act.
--------------
The patriot act has no constitutional basis. That act is and was doomed from inception.
---------
Shut up, cocksmoke. Even I'm against the Patiot Act, but as long as it's on the books, it's law.
And since the server holding the threat is based in America, the act is under American jurisdiction.
Submitted by Faith (user info) at 2006-09-01 18:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unbelievable. The Secret Service is at my home saying the word "shitfuck".
I can actually picture the scene. Classic!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:24:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Secret Service have ZERO jurisdiction in Canada.
----------------------------------------------------------
Bull shit. They can expedite anyone they want on legitimate grounds. And with internet law - if Shitfuck has violated any American laws, technically he did it IN American as Uber is based out of the States. Fucked up - but true.
See also the Patriot Act.
--------------
The patriot act has no constitutional basis. That act is and was doomed from inception.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-09-01 16:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Secret Service have ZERO jurisdiction in Canada.
----------------------------------------------------------
Bull shit. They can expedite anyone they want on legitimate grounds. And with internet law - if Shitfuck has violated any American laws, technically he did it IN American as Uber is based out of the States. Fucked up - but true.
See also the Patriot Act.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-09-01 15:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry Bart but the Growing Family shenanigans was bar none the funniest thing I have ever seen on this site. I laughed until I wept. I also helped add quite a few of those magical comments on their site.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-09-01 14:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I keep expecting to get sued (or worse) for what the idiots do on a couple of my websites, so I feel your pain.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2006-09-01 13:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart,
Thanks for the mention of the book. Glad you're enjoying it. Did you get the info I emailed you on publishing? If not, I'll resend it.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-01 10:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I +2 your criticism Bart. It was impersonal and to the point. I am honored to have you had take my post off the front page.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-09-01 10:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-31 23:59:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Baaaahahahaha, only in America.
Anywhere else (errr.. ok, in the "westernised world"), you would just tell the lawyers AND Secret Service to fuck right off because freedom of speech laws mean you can say pretty much anything you want. Oh, except the copyright stuff, but even that's pretty minor and comes under the category of "satire" I would think even most judges would throw that shit the fuck outta court.
I astounds, and somewhat worries me that American govt agencies are so willing to use "terrorism" and the anti-terror laws to completely circumnavigate free-speech laws, even in cases like this when it's ridiculously obvious that it's not even vaguely serious.
---------------------
Umm, the secret service has always investigated claims like this, has nothing to do with terrorism, or bush taking away your freedom of speech.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-09-01 09:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
poor Bart Bart
I hate to tell you this, but I still think the baby thing was really funny.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2006-09-01 07:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my god.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-01 05:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-01 05:03:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart, you need to seriously join the ACLU right fucking now!
http://action.aclu.org/site/PageServer?pagename=FJ_donationhome
$20 and you'll be a card-carrying member. They have lawyers that might help with any rights infringement cases. It's worth it.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-09-01 04:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92521
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92521
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92521
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92521
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92521
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-09-01 03:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:23:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a fuck?
Save it, NOOB.
---
gold... in a predictable kinda way.
Expected... yet enjoyed. That cranky fucker is an enigma.
God bless him.
Submitted by 2004Dreaming (user info) at 2006-09-01 00:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-01 00:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got to #1 and giggled like a school girl.
Bart...seriously...if I HAD to fuck a man...it'd be you.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-01 00:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:12:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
I'd feel bad about the AC snub but you forgot Tim and Jonukah and Shadow and EatMeCompletely too. ""
he was only mentioning A list bambi.
p.s STOP PHONING ME ALL THE TIME I HAVE NO MORE ADVICE ON HOW YOU CAN LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-08-31 23:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Baaaahahahaha, only in America.
Anywhere else (errr.. ok, in the "westernised world"), you would just tell the lawyers AND Secret Service to fuck right off because freedom of speech laws mean you can say pretty much anything you want. Oh, except the copyright stuff, but even that's pretty minor and comes under the category of "satire" I would think even most judges would throw that shit the fuck outta court.
I astounds, and somewhat worries me that American govt agencies are so willing to use "terrorism" and the anti-terror laws to completely circumnavigate free-speech laws, even in cases like this when it's ridiculously obvious that it's not even vaguely serious.
Of course, whoever mentioned ubersite on that growingfamily site is a fucking retard.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-08-31 21:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll end up saying it again.
Marry me, Bart. You've turned me deh ghey.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have to love to hate Ubersite. Or something. I don't know.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart, Although I'm sure this tops the list for 'exciting uber-world meets real-world occurances", has anything like this ever happened before?
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2006-08-31 20:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still love this place...
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies."
Nice, real nice.
It is incredible what one idea several years ago has lead into...early morning run ins with the SS....fun times.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This entire thing is true as well. It wouldn't be very funny if it was made up and if I were going to make something up, it would have been a lot more exciting than the way it's described here, probably with a big grandstanding monologue speech by me in which I used the line, "I'm not going down for you, I'm not going down for ANYBODY!"
Ok, that was funny.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the funniest thing I've read in ages.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
I'd feel bad about the AC snub but you forgot Tim and Jonukah and Shadow and EatMeCompletely too.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-31 19:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:47:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually happen to know enough about this to tell you that youare full of shit.
Try again.
-----
Who cares if it was bullshit, it was hilarious.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-31 18:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! We got bart served with letters!
Um...
Sorry, dude. :-)
Submitted by Aeneas (user info) at 2006-08-31 17:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I love this site. It'd be hilarious if this received any media attention. Perhaps you should send this to a couple of papers or what have you and that's increase traffic.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-08-31 17:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WAS THAT SOMEONE!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 16:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:47:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually happen to know enough about this to tell you that youare full of shit.
Try again.
-------------
I wish this spooge-minion would just die already
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually happen to know enough about this to tell you that youare full of shit.
Try again.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-31 15:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart my last post contains something along the line "Well we here at ubersite love to make fun of babies."
So no more of that stuff. Sorry I didn't pick up on this earlier.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if we should apologize or call shennigans...either way, I can't stop laughing.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe more than half of this, but it still made me laugh.
-Dave
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the only way this could have been funnier is if they had asked to speak with Professor Fuck Face.
Secret Service asking for Shitfuck.
Oh my.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best post ever. It's official. I simply cannot believe that the FBI was in you house asking you the whereabouts of one shitfuck. That is too sweet.
Hey Bart, will you please hook my buddy John up with an Ubersite account, he's been hounding me for months. Get him off my back if you can.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't you just want to laugh in their faces when they said 'shitfuck'...I would've cracked up!!
Hows that finger man?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-08-31 13:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rock n roll into the future!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:46:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:26:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like Indoninja finally ratted us out.
Fuck you Indo, you fuckin' spook! Pussy-ass little bitch. Fuckin' punk. I oughta bitch slap your candy ass. Fuck you.
------------------------------------
Yep brad, after several years of psy-ops and spying on Ubersite I finally played my card to try and get shitfuck.
As to why they came after him and not you. He was deemed a threat, but you are just clown shoes. You are a bad fucking joke.
What kind of threat could you be? You are a thirty year old whose greatest accomplishment is getting a ticket and being brought to the police station.
You sit around and write grand manifestos on living off the land, fighting the man, revolution and yet you still have a dead end job in a shitty town with no hope of ever leaving.
---------
HAHAHAHA - Poor Bradley.
HE lost...to a Canadian! delicious irony.
(of course, this means that we will be subjected to nonstop manifestos against GWB, etc, etc.)
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about putting me on double secret probation?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:58:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Can this be filed under 'Unnecessary Answers to Incredibly Stupid Questions'?
===
My question was purposedly phrase in a naive way but still, Canado-American authorities often combine operations and both countries have plenty of treaties of extradition.
I'm suprised you aren't talking about cocksucking. Did you cure your obsession?
--
Nice dance, pal. You specifically asked if an American gov't organization could have any kind of power over a Canadian citizen. The answer is an obvious 'no,' and vice-versa. Of course if the SS cooperated with Canadian officials or shitfuck crossed the border, that would be a different story.
As for the whole cocksucking thing, I believe you started it by admitting you chowed down on some guy's meat.
"What is the purpose of your visit to the United States, Mr., uh, Shitfuck."
"Fuck you."
"Okay, have a nice day, sir."
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, the Secret Service is not monitoring this site. They are actually pretty busy doing stuff and they get all kinds of reports from regular citizens about various potentially illegal things. They do their own analysis first and then investigate things that meet certain thresholds, just like pretty much any other police type of force. That means that somebody saw that post, thought it was serious enough to warrant an email to the SS, and they thought it was serious enough to come talk to me.
This is not a free speech issue. Freedom of speech does not give you freedom from liability from the damage your words cause. Political dissent is the oldest and strongest form or free speech and pretty much the reason why the First Amendment exists. Going on a public forum and saying that people should kill a specific person - a celebrity, an abortion clinic doctor, or particularly the president of the United States - is going to warrant some kind of attention from somebody.
It would be very difficult to find someone guilty of a crime on something like this, but it doesn't mean that someone couldn't try.
As far as the other stuff, there's nothing illegal about anything that was posted on Growing Family. It's not illegal to break a private Terms of Service contract, but they could justifiably prevent you from using their website in the future. It doesn't matter if you posted a comment there, there isn't anything anyone could do to you unless you were saying something otherwise illegal (death threat, slander, plagiarism, etc.) and even in those cases, there would need to be a trial and what not to assign any kind of penalty.
This entire thing is true as well. It wouldn't be very funny if it was made up and if I were going to make something up, it would have been a lot more exciting than the way it's described here, probably with a big grandstanding monologue speech by me in which I used the line, "I'm not going down for you, I'm not going down for ANYBODY!"
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2006-08-31 12:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The reason I attend law school is to be like those lawyers in #1. I'm looking forward to it already. Three years to go!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Can this be filed under 'Unnecessary Answers to Incredibly Stupid Questions'?
===
My question was purposedly phrase in a naive way but still, Canado-American authorities often combine operations and both countries have plenty of treaties of extradition.
I'm suprised you aren't talking about cocksucking. Did you cure your obsession?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can this be filed under 'Unnecessary Answers to Incredibly Stupid Questions'?
-
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:36:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:45:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious stuff all-around
do US secret services have jurisdiction on canadians like shitfuck or must they combine some sort of ninja operations with the RCMP?
------------------
Secret Service have ZERO jurisdiction in Canada.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The next time some loudmouth asswipe wants to trash Bart, tell them to top this before opening their hole...
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:06:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
And money from ads? No. Or at least very little. The ads net about $100-$150 per month which doesn't quite make up for the hosting cost of the server. The uberboard brings in a little more to about even it out, but I think I told Habeeb Thomas that the total "profit" from the two combined is about $20 / month. That number counts me personally as making $0, so I'm not quite ready to leave the day job.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:47:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a lot of reviews for a bullshit story.
Bart, you should be proud. You have followers.
Your very own cult.
Let's get the koolaid rolling.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
probable stupid question - so... are we not allowed to attach stuff?
and probable stupid comment - you made this all possible, not us.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
# 3)
What the holy fuck of all mother fucks?
It's called Freedom of Speech.
Send em' my way, while you're at it
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-08-31 11:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Six degrees of awesome.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When my kid comes out I'm going to use growingfamily.com and tell them that ubersite was basically advertisement for them
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since they were already there and all, you would have thought the Secret Service would have asked into ETS. I guess this just proves that they enjoy reading his posts just as much as we do. Plus he works his contact info into every other post.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a lot of reviews for a bullshit story.
Bart, you should be proud. You have followers.
Your very own cult.
Let's get the koolaid rolling.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it weren't for this site, I'm sure you would've killed yourself out of boredom long ago.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 10:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If I was ever forced - at gunpoint - to see bart's ass, I would then stick pencils in my eyes...and spend the rest of my life SELLING those pencils on a streetcorner...nowhere near Chicago.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-08-31 09:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the funniest damn things I've ever read.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-08-31 09:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too fucking good to be true!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2006-08-31 09:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear...
You know, more people should see me while I'm up here in these United States. My party was fun. And I didn't threaten to kill any presidents. Good for me.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-31 09:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Further proof that you lead a very interesting life thanks to Uber...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-08-31 09:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:46:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, everyone...you can all crawl out of bart's ass now and get to work.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But have YOU ever seen his ass? It's really nice and I can still get work done while in it.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh lord.
Yo, don't forget JACK MCCALLUM'S BOOK, MADE IN THE USA, which fucking rocks and you can also buy on amazon but shouldn't because it will take years of your life to get it - hit up xlibris.com.
I miss you fuckers. When are y'all coming to Mass?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agent Smith, eh?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, everyone...you can all crawl out of bart's ass now and get to work.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:26:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like Indoninja finally ratted us out.
Fuck you Indo, you fuckin' spook! Pussy-ass little bitch. Fuckin' punk. I oughta bitch slap your candy ass. Fuck you.
------------------------------------
Yep brad, after several years of psy-ops and spying on Ubersite I finally played my card to try and get shitfuck.
As to why they came after him and not you. He was deemed a threat, but you are just clown shoes. You are a bad fucking joke.
What kind of threat could you be? You are a thirty year old whose greatest accomplishment is getting a ticket and being brought to the police station.
You sit around and write grand manifestos on living off the land, fighting the man, revolution and yet you still have a dead end job in a shitty town with no hope of ever leaving.
I don't read your shit to debate you (it is useless), or to educate others (if they have a brain they can figure out how full of shit you are), and certainly not to report on your actions to the govt, I read it because it makes me feel good about myself. It is a guilty pleasure, and maybe a little bit wrong, but to see a useless sack of shit like you froth at the mouth and jump at imagined govt shadows it makes me feel good about my life.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"They wanted to know what I knew about this person named "shitfuck". Unbelievable. The Secret Service is at my home saying the word "shitfuck"."
===============================================
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:31:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Secret Service don't ask to come in.
Secret Service open your door, pull out their guns, shoot you twice in the face, search your house, and leave all before your splooge has hit the tissue.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.........why are you hear so early?".
An error? The BartBart makes errors...??
This is too much.
*explodes*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a fuck?
Save it, NOOB.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you'd be the first
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it too late to make a call for Shenanigans?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-08-31 08:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm inspired.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Jesus.
Like, really. Holy Jesus.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:13:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
ignored :(
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Make a petition and I will sign it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!! SOUPS ON BITCHES!!!!
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it would have been just a teeny bit funnier if it was PFF.
"Don't lie, sir. Do you, or do you not, know a man by the name of professorfuckface?!"
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A real man would have finished the drink.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ignored :(
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-08-31 07:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh this is good stuff.
'The Secret Service is at my home saying the word "shitfuck".' Milk came out of my nose, and there was a Cheerio in it.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-08-31 06:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry Eric D. Rice of West Virginia, that lady and her husband will take care of you soon enough.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-31 06:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I'm not totally convinced that ETS isn't the government spy in question. No one would ever suspect him.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-08-31 06:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you didn't give them my IP address.....did you? Me, Eric D. Rice of West Virginia?????
This was awesome. Sorry for all the trouble
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-08-31 05:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am in some pain from the laughter.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-08-31 05:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for taking the proverbial bullets, bug guy.
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-08-31 05:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carol Richards came to be in her alter induced self and told me in a dream brought upon by drinking 32 Black Cherry Vanilla Cokes that SHE was the one who squealed to the secret service about Bush.
Fuck I need to pee. Damn Cokes
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-08-31 05:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i believe everythign except the part about the email from the secret service
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-08-31 05:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why are you hear so early?".
*here
Excellent post, and ETS' outrage is hilarious!
Submitted by pastacheese (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a bit bored today, and it's the last day of the school holidays. I wouldn't mind the secret service paying me a visit. I live in Ryde on the Isle of Wight now, officer.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92461#2122811
Nothing's more democratic that calling for the death of elected leaders you don't agree with the policies of!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear Ayn
"but there's a certain morality involved with promoting the idea that people should go and make fun of pictures of strangers' babies."
"These concerted attacks on Growing Family's business cause injury to Growing Family and are a hateful and shameful insult to the parents of and children on Growing Family's website. In addition to violating Growing Family's rights, the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies."
I am not laughing at the above two quotes, but merely laughing at how terrible they are. There's a difference.
I really hope that Secret Service part was real.
Customary link to D-PRIME MADNESS III: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92455
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So are we not allowed anymore GWB murder talk? Because now that I know the secret service is watching I could totally out do shitfucks post, and I also live in the great white north, so what the fuck could they do?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-31 04:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my goodness.
I can't believe this all came out of Ubersite. That's madness...
Just be glad you weren't naked when you answered the door.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Out of curiosity, can you link me to that law?"
http://www.senate.gov/civics/constitution_item/constitution.htm#a1_sec8
"To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;"
followed by the more detailed:
http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#103
Kracka, let's do it.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:06:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Kracka - as soon as I saw the Secret Service, the first thing I yelled was "His name is Kracka and he lives in Vegas!" When they asked what I was talking about, I said "You're here for the black guy, right?"
-----------
That's some bull.....anyways you gonna meet me for a drink when i get to chicago?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:21:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no actual lawsuit. Nobody has sued anybody and it does not appear that anyone is going to sue anybody.
The moral problem for me is that if I take it down, there is no lawsuit. If I don't take it down, there could be a lawsuit, even though realistically there probably wouldn't be because I don't have enough money to make a lawsuit worthwhile for anyone. Given that I know the thing in question violates federal copyright law, should I force their hand, make them sue me, and then have a court award them damages and force me to take it down? Me thinks not.
-------------------
Join the ACLU. Maybe they'll take your case.
Out of curiosity, can you link me to that law?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:45:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious stuff all-around
do US secret services have jurisdiction on canadians like shitfuck or must they combine some sort of ninja operations with the RCMP?
------------------
Secret Service have ZERO jurisdiction in Canada.
This ordeal will not be a problem for shitfuck. Considering there are Americans practically everyday calling for the death of Ahmadenijad (Iran) and Chavez (Venezuela) on national television, i'm assuming calling for the death of a foreign leader isn't illegal.
Either way...shitfuck was right. We'd be far better off if Bush were dead. While we're at it, Cheney and Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and a whole HOST of PNAC members could disappear without so much as a tear from me or anyone I know.
Considering they're all treasonous swine that sold the American people out on 9/11 for the likes of Exxon/Mobil, they deserve public hangings in my eyes. Every goddamn one of them. Bring on the new Nuhremberg!
Fuck them. Might give me something to watch on the news worth watching. Anything's better than seeing Karr and that polygamist for teh 1000th time.
Come to think of it, while we're at it, you could throw just about every irresponsible reporter from CNN and Fox News in the above list too. They're all useless to society. They have failed their country and are an utter disgrace.
And yea, I hope the DO see this! And I hope they fucking CHOKE on it.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't interested in the growing family thing, but now there is lawsuits involved I might have to do a post
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, so, keeping us hooligans in check has offically become hazardous to your health and well-being, on more than one front. Yet, the site is still here.
Thankyou Bart, for giving us assholes someplace to congregate, make fun of babies, the presidency and each other.
I'm gonna remember this one for years....
"These concerted attacks on Growing Family's business cause injury to Growing Family and are a hateful and shameful insult to the parents of and children on Growing Family's website. In addition to violating Growing Family's rights, the posts refer to rape and masturbation in reference to newborn babies."
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no actual lawsuit. Nobody has sued anybody and it does not appear that anyone is going to sue anybody.
The moral problem for me is that if I take it down, there is no lawsuit. If I don't take it down, there could be a lawsuit, even though realistically there probably wouldn't be because I don't have enough money to make a lawsuit worthwhile for anyone. Given that I know the thing in question violates federal copyright law, should I force their hand, make them sue me, and then have a court award them damages and force me to take it down? Me thinks not.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And here I was thinking Shitfuck loved George of the Bush.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is brilliant. Absolute gold.
Give scourge his constant +2 ratings so he stops whining about it, for the love of God!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IP range ban domenad so he can't even read the site, the shitfuck thing is his fault
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:47:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure would be nice of you to give me my ratings back...
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hahaha! I almost spit out my soda.
I'm sure if you gave Darko his ratings back, he would be more responsible. Plus, I think he's asked nicely a few times. What's the worst that could happen? If he was doling out unnecesary ratings, you could just take them away again.
I'm just saying...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure would be nice of you to give me my ratings back...
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a very long time ago i quit those assholes, three days after i had recieved my shield, when i was
informed that all of my dutys would revolve around the new(then)Public Law #90-331
sixty days later i joined a much nicer "company", on the left-coast, with which i spent 24yrs
now...i don't know what that means, or how it relates to your most recent experience, but at least
someone (you) has reminded me, yet once again, that i made the correct career choice
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious stuff all-around
do US secret services have jurisdiction on canadians like shitfuck or must they combine some sort of ninja operations with the RCMP?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:13:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know the sites big time when you get cease and desist orders.
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That, or this is the Secret Service equivalent of traffic duty.
I can't believe Growing Family filed a lawsuit. Amazing.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking love this place.
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoa
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just realized something.
ets is the john mark karr of uber: He wants attention and will say anything to get it.
(also, ets, i agree that their probably is a government spook on uber. most likely, though, he is one of the nameless people that don't post.
wait. i don't post...OH NO!
COVER BLOWN! COVER BLOWN! BASE, I NEED AN EXIT!)
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know the sites big time when you get cease and desist orders.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kracka - as soon as I saw the Secret Service, the first thing I yelled was "His name is Kracka and he lives in Vegas!" When they asked what I was talking about, I said "You're here for the black guy, right?"
Kaelic - if you consider "obeying federal law" to be caving, then yes I caved. There is no "gray" in derivitive work. A derivitive work is where you take someone else's copyrighted work and add your own copyrightable material to it. If you do not have permission to use the original work, you do not have legal right to make a derivative.
A parody is not a copy of someone else's work, rather a artistically-meritted recreation of it. For example, altering song lyrics, making a picture of GWB that looks like the Mona Lisa, etc. You can't just take a movie, add your own DVD commentary track, and then resell the whole thing as an original work of art.
My amateur lawyer self researched the legal definitions and usage laws around these things before deciding to take down what I took down. You can't answer questions around copyright and trademarks without really knowing the details of the specific case, so I have no reason to comment on whatever Something Awful has done. I can say that there are many more instances of me ignoring or rejecting requests to take things down then there are actually of me taking things down, but those are less interesting. "Hey, take this post down." "No." Not a very good story.
Also, it may not have been clear from what I said, but I didn't give the Growing Family lawyers any of the information they requested. They have no right to that information without a warrant which I don't believe they would be able or willing to get.
I did give the Secret Service shitfuck's IP address, but I was pretty sure they would have gotten a warrant considering that they had at least three different agents in contact with me multiple times. If they didn't think they could get a warrant, they most likely would not have started working on the case in the first place. Still, without them having a warrant, I would have been completely within my legal rights to tell them (a) that they couldn't come in the door and (b) that I would not give them any IP address information. My thought at the time was that that would be a bad thing to do and would not amount to any net benefit for anyone other than giving a legal shield to me should shitfuck decide to sue me.
And money from ads? No. Or at least very little. The ads net about $100-$150 per month which doesn't quite make up for the hosting cost of the server. The uberboard brings in a little more to about even it out, but I think I told Habeeb Thomas that the total "profit" from the two combined is about $20 / month. That number counts me personally as making $0, so I'm not quite ready to leave the day job.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny Kracka.
Bradley, the gist of his post was about not doing what you're doing. No prob, yet, but like one of your friends shoulda said at that back-and-forth party, chill. Seriously. (Even tho you were right!) I say this as someone who respects you, and is looking out for you. Most everyone here knows what you really want to say, just don't. Say it. Have a smoke and take it out on me if you like, just change directions. Bush will be a bad memory soon enough.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it a silly question to ask why Method hasn't made a comment on this post?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:32:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
as long as they aren't looking for the black dude i am good to go.
----------------
It's only a matter of time, Kracka.
Shit, G... They just gonna force you build the prisons to put all the rest of us in.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90197
Bring on the Gestapo.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're either with us or you're with the babies
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as long as they aren't looking for the black dude i am good to go.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like Indoninja finally ratted us out.
Fuck you Indo, you fuckin' spook! Pussy-ass little bitch. Fuckin' punk. I oughta bitch slap your candy ass. Fuck you.
Speaking of spooks, keep in mind that if it's not Indo, it's SOMEONE on this site. I guarantee you motherfuckers there is at least one infiltrator in our midst.
Guaranfuckingteed!
If they'll infiltrate the motherfucking Quakers and PETA, people, not to mention little old ladies and their knitting circle or whatever the fuck that was, you bet your asses their all over this site like stink on shit.
You have two options now. Back down like a bunch of fucking cowards or WWII era Jews, or stand up for your motherfucking rights and keep on doing what you're doing...even going further if need be.
Fuck 'em all. That's right...FUCK. YOU.
PS: Bart...don't give out anymore information