The ice cream serving industry is both confusing and frightening (2604 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.26 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom (View user info) at 2006-09-19 01:45:42 EDT
To my customers at least.
Yes, I took a job as a SHIFT LEADER! at Coldstone Creamery, a somewhat unknown ice cream chain. SHIFT LEAD! is essentially the same thing as day shift manager in my case. My responsibilities are making sure the store is well stocked, taking care of the ice cream production, and making sure the customer gets loaded on the horribly overpriced ice cream.
All in a day's work, really. I put in overtime each week, something like 50-60 hours a week, depending entirely upon the schedule, who calls off, essentially I've no obligations to anyone anywhere, except for my job, so I work a large number of hours. I'm pretty tired, but I'm making more than enough to support myself in my independent living.
All in all, my job is simple, it's just the number of things I'm responsible for keeping up, I'm sure I could train a monkey to do my job, it'd just be as stressed out about its job as I am about mine. One of the lighter things about my job is the customer, as the customer is often really stupid. I understand that side of the counter at Coldstone to be a pretty intimidating thing. I mean, first you have the ice cream flavors to choose from, then something like 30 different mix ins? I don't even have to psych out my customers half the time, they manage it all by themselves. They stand there looking scared and confused, nervously scratching their heads of holding their arms and sighing.
Okay, so it's a bit of an exaggeration, but I do get a few like this. It's actually kind of funny. Then you have the kind of customer that just flat out isn't smart about what they're doing, whether it be that they've never been to a Coldstone and don't understand that I don't have a soft-serve machine, or they just want to know what the chocolate sprinkles are made out of.
Oh I'm not even kidding about that one. I got asked what the chocolate sprinkles were made out of. My response was something like "Processed cane sugar with artificial chocolate flavoring." I honestly doubt the chocolate sprinkles are really chocolate. I understand the inner workings of this business, kinda.
Another request I seem to be getting a lot is for regular ice cream.
Just a footnote for the world, I don't sell that flavor.
In all my ineffable knowledge, I have for the life of me been unable to track down this elusive regular ice cream. I just don't know what a regular ice cream flavor is. Chocolate? Vanilla? Funny, I have both of those in plain sight in the freezer simply feet from your face. Just request it. If you want it soft, too bad. I don't sell soft-serve ice cream.
Nobody understands this.
Nobody includes this guy who came into work today. I hesitate to call him a fatass because I'm just sensitive to people's feelings like that, but this guy was fat and an ass. So, I'll just dub him Fatass. Fatass waddles over to my ice cream loaded freezer, glances at it, looks at my ice cream maker tucked away in the back a bit and says "Hey, is that a regular ice cream maker?"
Well, I looked back at it for a moment, just to be sure that my ice cream maker didn't become irregular when I wasn't looking. I noticed no special antennas, it didn't have a TV implanted into it, it wasn't wearing a tophat and singing us fucking Broadway showtunes, so I think it's just a regular ol' ice cream maker.
"Yeah, I guess it is."
"Well just get me some regular ice cream in a cone."
"What do you mean, regular ice cream?"
"You know, regular ice cream!"
What part of "what do you mean, regular ice cream" indicated that I did in fact know what regular ice cream is? I don't stand at the counter of an ice cream shop so I can play grab ass with my customers all day.
"You need to choose from one of these flavors right HERE." I pointed to the freezer. I forget what he ended up getting in the cone. All he said was "I thought this was like Wendys."
I didn't get this at all, because if he wanted a frosty, there's a Wendys about two blocks from where I work.
"It isn't like Wendys."
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-23 16:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went out for a little din din with the local crew and what did we witness?
At Chipotle, two horrifically obese persons (a couple, no less!) each having TWO GIANT BURRITOS. That's right, they each had ONE CHICKEN and ONE STEAK and consumed both while sitting.
How does one even eat that much? Those burritos are HUGE! I find myself hard-pressed to finish the one burrito, let alone packing a twin down in the belly! Often I am forced to sacrifice a third or more of the burrito's delicious contents to the Tin God.
We have little contests to see who can eat the most (hint, the big-mouth roomie gets it every time). What do you win? Nothing, you've already lost your self esteem at the bottom of the burrito.
I bet you're wondering what the hell this has to do with Coldstone. I'm getting there...
After the ginormous burritos, we decide to stop off at the Coldstone for smoothies and shakes, yum, and what did we witness?
The exact same fatass couple getting the LARGEST size ice cream. They each had a pint (or more, whatever that size is) and were stuffing their craws like it was Ambrosia laid out for them by the gods.
Suffice to say, we did not eat ice cream that night.
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-06-02 19:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No way. I am a Shift Leader at a Cold Stone Creamery too. And I feel your pain...
"Can I get it in a cone?"
"Yeah, what size?"
"In a cone."
"You still pick a size, you fuck."
Or.. even better...
"What do we do?"
"well, you pick a flavor of ice cream, and pick shit to go in it."
And don't forget!!
"Is this gellato?"
"No."
People have asked me if the stone is hot or cold. I kind of just looked at them...
I could probably just go on and on about this. Anyway, I was thinking about posting my very first post on something like this, but now I can't. So thanks for that. On a lighter note... I put my 2 weeks in and I have one day left to work there. Good bye, stupid customers.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-06 18:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, you assholes need to start carrying Irish Cream again, because it was the best flavor you ever had.
What happened to peanut butter??
You don't even know how pissed off I am at you guys right now.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Now I want Coldstone.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-19 21:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, you messed up and forgot to post the rest. it got cut off right when it was starting to get interesting... i mean come on, we're talking about ICE CREAM here. the subject is rife with...
oh wait, that was it? hmmmm.... well.... uh.... thanks? ....for the story?
oh fuck it- THIS POST MADE ME EVEN MORE BORED.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-19 18:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coldstone is the BOMB - I always only get one thing - chocolate with penut butter mixed in.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-19 12:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I stock three types of water that go by three different names and have three different prices. The fact that they all come from the Nestle isn't important; the fact that customers won't get any water at all if it's case doesn't have the right ink on it is.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-09-19 12:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotta agree with shandy on that one. I just suck at choosing titles, totally my downfall.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-09-19 09:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:31:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work at a steak house. I got the "I just want a regular steak" order at least twice that I can remember.
I used to get that at McDonald's too.
"I'll just have an order of fries."
"What size?"
"Oh just a regular."
"We have Small, Medium, Large, or Supersize."
"Oh...uh...just the regular size."
FUCK! I'd just pick small or medium. Fucking morons.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-19 09:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think 'the icecream industry is both comforting and frightening' would be a better title
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-09-19 09:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to see you back and writing again, you floppy-haired munchkin.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2006-09-19 09:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do in some way understand where those morons are coming from. Over here in Europe, whenever tehre's an ice-creammaking machine, it produces soft, creamy ice. Whenever we want flavours like chocolate, banana, or backward-parked hillbillyjuice with added sprinkles, the salesman scoops the ice cream out of their respective containers, which I assume is what you're doing.
For a man, I enjoy ice cream just a little too much, though. Somewhere on the level of PMS-induced gluttony, only all through the month.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-09-19 08:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thers blog sites for crap like this
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-09-19 08:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would eat so much if I worked there.
anyone who doesn't get the gotta have it has no testicles.
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-09-19 08:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:28:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
Nobody includes this guy who came into work today. I hesitate to call him a fatass because I'm just sensitive to people's feelings like that, but this guy was fat and an ass. So, I'll just dub him Fatass. Fatass waddles over to my ice cream loaded freezer, glances at it, looks at my ice cream maker tucked away in the back a bit and says "Hey, is that a regular ice cream maker?"
_________________________
From now on, you can just call this type of person jgreening.
__________
nah jgreening would be all: "i'll have your everything make it a double scoop because i enjoy food in excessive amounts IM NIT SKINNY"
i mean not skinny
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-19 05:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that's what you get for working in retail. You should patent an irregular ice cream maker and then you will be rich. You'll be able to walk around town in an expensive suit and hang out in retail outlets; waiting for people you believe to be stupid to reveal themselves so that you can approach then and buy their trousers off them for $5000 dollars. The trick is that then you say for an extra thousand they have to run around the parking lot in their undies.
After they do that they're hooked. Just keep offering them more money and they'll do anything. By the end of the week you'd have a man having sex with his own daughter for three grand. I imagine the taste of power you'd get from doing that would be sweeter than any free ice cream you taste at the moment.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-19 04:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work at a steak house. I got the "I just want a regular steak" order at least twice that I can remember.
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nobody includes this guy who came into work today. I hesitate to call him a fatass because I'm just sensitive to people's feelings like that, but this guy was fat and an ass. So, I'll just dub him Fatass. Fatass waddles over to my ice cream loaded freezer, glances at it, looks at my ice cream maker tucked away in the back a bit and says "Hey, is that a regular ice cream maker?"
_________________________
From now on, you can just call this type of person jgreening.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
................ and?
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-09-19 02:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
plus one for the title
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-09-19 01:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I'm incredibly bored tonight, so I shall make my aim screen name known to the world once again:
Fat Hoe Rodeo
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-19 01:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Tom
User id: 1129
Registered on or around: 2003-05-18 01:51:21
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