UberMadness IV - Round 2 Analysis (3602 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.36 on 185 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2006-10-16 09:47:39 EDT
Ah, round two. They'll be talking about this one for a while. The wheat separates from the chaff. The men separate from the boys. A lot of good writers were up against pictures or forfeits. Ah, round two. In all of its glory, shame, and mayhem. Presented for your approval, the results:
WHO WROTE WHAT? WHO WON?
Presented in the following format:
Entry one author
Entry two author
Title
(WINNER IN CAPS)
JOEYG
Calbearspolo
Paragon
PENTAMETER
Shaun_Rocks
Rise or Fall
Coyote
STEVIE_SAYS
Breaking News
GHOLA
Chroniclysm
Mercy is for the Weak
The_Yellow_Dart
MANDAPANDA
The Last Shot
DROGOROCH
Brdn_Nkd
Grave Danger
domenad
CHARMINGLYBEEF
House of Cards
Stagger_Lee
SPAM
The Preacher
AsshOly
FUNNYASCANCER
Slow Bleed
Somebody_Else
JACK_MCCALLUM
Summer Breeze
coley
JOEDADDY
Twist
NERFHERDER
thorpe
Insidious
method
JMG114
Universal Loathing
HIRILNARA
Crystle
Little White Lie
Genko
DONKEYONTHEEDGE
Purity of Essence
Bigmike
BART
Between Enemies
strwbryfanatic
CAPTAINTHORNS
Intelligent Design
AXOLOTL
Electrictoothsyndrome
Material Witness
DonovanMD
DAVROS
Count the Stars
Wiggles
LOKI
Last Exit to Babylon
maiorano84
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Weeping Willow
scourge
BUBBA2341
Perfect
apollo88
IMPASSIVE-DIGRESSIVE
Whole Again
jgreening
ORGASMATRON
Undefeated
COLESLAW_MURPHY
sicosemen (invited back due to unique time issues)
Eve of the Feast
KAOS-KING
darko
Moment of Glory
Siren
CIRCE
Deconstruction
GOFERFORHIRE
polyamorousaj
Silent Omen
MAGICADDICT
William_Q_Percy
Wrath of God
AWESOME_FACE
viciousness63
Safe Passage
FuckTheArmy
PARLORTRICK
Washed Up
JMG's BEST OF AWARD
Once you wade through all the forfeits and crap and forfeits, this round had some damn good writing and some amazing match-ups. Entries of note:
ParlorTrick's Washed Up (Entry two)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94250
Intense and playful, this story of a window washer with a dirty secret is well worth the read. This post comes alongside FuckTheArmy's interpretation of a classic pirate exchange, also worthy of your time.
Jack_McCallum's Summer Breeze (Entry two)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94211
A post-apocalyptic scenario about companionship and danger in dark end times. It's a long entry, but the story is great.
Orgasmatron's Undefeated (Entry two)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94272
A Russian Roulette player who's just a bit too lucky is the focus of O-tron's latest opus. It's one of the most suspenseful pieces I've ever read in the contest. Be sure to check it out.
THE NAILBITER AWARD
Back and forth, back and forth. The four way winners are Coyote, Stevie_says, Coley, and JoeDaddy, the writers of Breaking News and Twist, respectively. Where else can you see lesbians against POWs and superheroes versus the falsely accused? It's amazing to see what different people can do with a single title, and you ought to take the time to check out these match-ups.
THE ELECTRO AWARD
BLITZKREIG_BOB's Weeping Willow (Entry two)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94365
Entry two of "Weeping Willow" told the heartfelt story of friends, international geography, and grand larceny. It was up against Maiorano84's forfeit, but go ahead and read the story that contained this glowing review: "But I LIKED BOTH OF THESE!" - Shlongy
THE "TWAT WHO MADE ME THINK THAT I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING HALFWAY DECENT BUT ENDED UP POSTING A PICTURE OF SOME FLIPPER BABY" AWARD
Goes to METHOD for his expert handling of "Universal Loathing." I see you rollin'.
ROUND III INFORMATION:
Round 3 titles should be up noon EST Tuesday October 17th or whenever Bart has time.
Deadline for submissions is noon EST Tuesday the 24th.
Voting ends noon EST Friday the 27th.
From here on in, please consider all deadlines in UNITED STATES EASTERN STANDARD TIME. Why UNITED STATES TIME? Because we have NUCLEAR WEAPONS and MCDONALDS. We keep you PROTECTED and FED.
This past round was the last time that the UM committee will make allowances for people due to the EST / Bart time confusion. From this point forward, if you submit at 12:00:01 EST, you're out of luck.
Also, one person has been allowed to continue even though they revealed their post inside of the posts reviews. This was done due to a perceived inability to continue by the contestant, who has since realized that they can. This was a UM committee decision.
"No more Mr. Nice Snark." - Snark
For those of you in round three: write SOMETHING. It's unfair at this (or ANY) stage in the game to agree to enter and not post anything of substance. Some people are working very hard on their entries. UM is a contest that you don't have to enter. Still, many of the people who do enter take their writing very seriously. Give yourselves some good competition. Play fair. Play fun.
Good luck to all players this round!
New bracket:
User Reviews
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-10-20 22:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Methinks my career may be in the way by next UM. Pity, because despite the apparent ratings drag, I coulda been someone.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-20 20:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:24:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:20:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm ALSO assuming that you're gonna want to get together for a few cocktails. You wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world, I'm speculating.
--
Well my heart is all aflutter at the mere thought, kind sir.
_______________
I have it on good authority that Shlongy is a cool dude in person. Well, at least that's
what I saw on the wall of the john in the bath house....
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 19:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have friends up there, but I don't know of any uber's .. of course, they don't want to meet me, so they wouldn't have necessarily told me they were there..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I read that some Uber loser lives near Reno/Tahoe?
I'm going to Tahoe in February for a week to ski...I'd like to either have a few drinks with a Uberer or smash a glass on some Uberers head.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, there is an indian reservation north of there..
I think it's something like Black Joe's Casino or something. I'm not much of a gambler, but I have driven past.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This booklet they sent us ALSO says withing an hour of TWO casinos.
And I already know about the big poker room outside of SJ/SF...Bay101
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
by close enough I mean close to wineries, tours, probably even decent golf courses, and about 2 hrs away from the Bay Area proper
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's sort of "off-Broadway"
but that's a good thing in Napa. It's all close enough that anywhere in the greater valley is good. Beautiful, really.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
add a "d" in Healdsburg.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah Crystle...we're staying at some 5 bedroom monstrosity in or near Healsburg...wherever the fuck that is.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
also, Shlongy - one of the best places I've stayed at in Napa.
http://www.napavalley.com/cgi-bin/new_mont_frame.cgi?return=www.napavalley.com/lodging/spa_resort.html&target=www.meadowood.com
sounds like your plans are already set, but just thought I'd throw it out there for you.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:20:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm ALSO assuming that you're gonna want to get together for a few cocktails. You wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world, I'm speculating.
--
Well my heart is all aflutter at the mere thought, kind sir.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope - just my commentary on ubersite.
Jack's a big boy, he can defend himself.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Crystle- If that was your attempt to "defend Jack", all I can offer out there is "go eat another fucking Twinkie".
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Jack...no bullshit. Enough about your lack of action with all the hot, asian broads in the Bay Area.
Next July, Mrs. Shlongy and I - and 8 invited guests, some of who I even like - are heading to the fucking Napa Valley for 9 days...It's for her birthday so I rented some mansion for the week.
I guess while the broads are touring wineries - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - the boys will be hitting the casinos, golfing and heading up to the bay area for a few A's games...ASSUMING they're home during the week.
I'm ALSO assuming that you're gonna want to get together for a few cocktails. You wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world, I'm speculating.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As opposed to trolling "Ubersite" as if it were Wal-Mart?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:56:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
If "UberMadness" was a coffeeshop, fucking Jack would spend all his waking, non-taking-a-shit hours there.
He LOVES these posts and this contest.
Of course, he'd be there TROLLING FOR COCK.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 18:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:56:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
If "UberMadness" was a coffeeshop, fucking Jack would spend all his waking, non-taking-a-shit hours there.
He LOVES these posts and this contest.
Of course, he'd be there TROLLING FOR COCK.
--
You know what's great about an ethnically diverse city full of dykes and homos, Shlongy?
Hundreds if not thousands of incredibly beautiful women of every shape, size and color...
TROLLING FOR COCK.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If "UberMadness" was a coffeeshop, fucking Jack would spend all his waking, non-taking-a-shit hours there.
He LOVES these posts and this contest.
Of course, he'd be there TROLLING FOR COCK.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
awwwwwwww.... poor Jack.
That's like totally harsh, dude..
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what I hate? When co-workers bring their 17 year old daughters in to the office to say, "Like, hi!" and the mixed emotions I feel afterwards when I try not to focus on the fact that somebody I joke around with every day is the mother of this 'kid,' and this 'kid' is so goddamned stunning in her tiny halter top and tight jeans that I can feel fuses blowing in my mind and I have to really struggle to focus on the boring paperwork in front of me.
Of course, this is just a hypothetical situation.
I really a really nice guy.
Honest.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have got to be shitting me...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That came from THAT?
How is that possible?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-19 17:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fucking Christ...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-19 08:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-18 00:48:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:54:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
So instead of going against JoeyG, I'll be fighting Spam? (LOL PUN)
Tomorrow needs to come so I can stop being confused.
-------------------------------------------------------------
WTF is going on? One minute I'm up against FAC.... the next I'm up against Spam.... and now the 2 people that could have been my opponents are against each other?
Please forgive me for being a little confused, but there are too many reviews for me to go sifting through at 6am (Brit time) with a hangover.
If someone can explain the situation in nice, simple, single-syllable words, it'd be much appreciated.
Will a new opponent mean I get a new title?!
*fingerscrossedpleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease*
----------------------------------------------
Obviously it will for someone, because otherwise you'd have two opponents going up against each other with different titles. So theoretically you could, and probably will, get a new title, though I'm not sure why you've had your opponent changed after receiving a title.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-10-19 08:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to everyone in round 3. May you get a title that is more than a word which barely exists in the English language.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-10-18 00:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:54:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
So instead of going against JoeyG, I'll be fighting Spam? (LOL PUN)
Tomorrow needs to come so I can stop being confused.
-------------------------------------------------------------
WTF is going on? One minute I'm up against FAC.... the next I'm up against Spam.... and now the 2 people that could have been my opponents are against each other?
Please forgive me for being a little confused, but there are too many reviews for me to go sifting through at 6am (Brit time) with a hangover.
If someone can explain the situation in nice, simple, single-syllable words, it'd be much appreciated.
Will a new opponent mean I get a new title?!
*fingerscrossedpleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease*
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-10-18 00:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I just realized this is the first thing of yours I've ever read.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-10-17 19:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, it's bad enough that I have to go up against Orgasmatron this round... but for the love of all that is holy and smothered in sour cream, who the dithering fuck came up with these titles?!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-17 15:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the tite are the fuckles?
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-10-17 11:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have this inexplicable craving for beef.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!Jon Stewart! JON STEWART!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-17 08:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:34:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, where are you? I demand you show up so I can pwnt you.
_________
Right here, kiddie. Some of us aren't allowed Uber at work. Some kinda Karma shit.
Pwnt away, youngster...
"And so the child is once again my guest. And why is this? Was Bart Bart unimpressed?"
Where is that from?
=========================
JEBUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR!
TELL US THAT YOU'RE WHO BART SAYS YOU ARE!!!
__________________________________
Jebus Krist, Uberstar, tell uncle Bart who you think you are...
"If you post today you will be a whole nation, show us all the pics of your masturbation..."
"What then to do about McCallum mania, what do we do with the Good writing King,
How do we deal with this old banker mania, just like when Kaos did his new Sci-Fi thing."
"Fools, you have no perception, the stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high,
we must crush him completely, so like Bart before him, this Axolotl must die. So like Bart before him, this Axolotl, this Axolotl, this Axolotl must die!
For the sake of the Uber, this bozo must die...."
=====================================================
"I don't know how to raaaaaaate hiiimmmmmm.....
Zero, one, minus twooooooo hiiimmmm.......
I couldn't post, just couldn't pooost.....
And I've seeeeen so manyyyy posts before,
In verrrrry maaaaany waaaaays, it's just one mooorrreee...."
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-17 05:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These matchups are wrong, but I guess Snark'll post a link here or something.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-17 00:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Team Wonderbread
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-17 00:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:23:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:30:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:50:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
Dude, let's put our troubles behind us and go into this epic battle not as enemies, but as friendly adversaries.
Whiche'er path you choose, goatse or tubgirl, I wish you the best of luck, friend.
I'm just kidding. No matter what you do it's going to suck and I'll win by default.
Can I have my title for round 4 now, too, so I can get a head start?
--------------------
Bring it, bitch. I WILL make you cry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding our Uber War,
Does it extend to fantasy football as well? Because I'm about to go on a rampage in that league too.
==========================
Which one are you? I know that I'm the one that is still undefeated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I picked up my second win in a row tonight...to go to 2-4 on the season.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:30:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:50:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
Dude, let's put our troubles behind us and go into this epic battle not as enemies, but as friendly adversaries.
Whiche'er path you choose, goatse or tubgirl, I wish you the best of luck, friend.
I'm just kidding. No matter what you do it's going to suck and I'll win by default.
Can I have my title for round 4 now, too, so I can get a head start?
--------------------
Bring it, bitch. I WILL make you cry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding our Uber War,
Does it extend to fantasy football as well? Because I'm about to go on a rampage in that league too.
==========================
Which one are you? I know that I'm the one that is still undefeated.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fade:
Used in the dice game craps. It means to cover the shooter's bet, that is, bet that he will lose.
***
Usage time-line:
1860's to present
<Class Dismissed>
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 23:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't be mean
don't be mean
aww fuck it!
IT MEANS YOUR BET'S COVERED, IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:29:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:21:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got $10 that says I will kick Axolotl's butt, kid that he is.
***
you're faded
________________
That REALLY made a whole bunch of sense, Dad.
Why don't you just fart??? Your reply was realy dumb....
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:18:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I predict Genko will go down in a blaze of failure. Smelly failure. He can't write, and smells bad. And he's going to lose.
---
It's time for you to go.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 22:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:21:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got $10 that says I will kick Axolotl's butt, kid that he is.
***
you're faded
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:38:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wrongo, anyways. :) He's too new for his votes to count in UM anyway though, so if he WAS mine, why would I bother using him? My blunt opinion is that PokeyMen reeks of jam, if you get my drift.
-------------
He does NOT...
Serious, with Mister gone, I now have no other accounts, at all, whatsoever.
Unless I can get STOS re-upped so I can finish the Top 10 porn stars thingamajig.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, where are you? I demand you show up so I can pwnt you.
_________
Right here, kiddie. Some of us aren't allowed Uber at work. Some kinda Karma shit.
Pwnt away, youngster...
"And so the child is once again my guest. And why is this? Was Bart Bart unimpressed?"
Where is that from?
=========================
JEBUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR!
TELL US THAT YOU'RE WHO BART SAYS YOU ARE!!!
__________________________________
Jebus Krist, Uberstar, tell uncle Bart who you think you are...
"If you post today you will be a whole nation, show us all the pics of your masturbation..."
"What then to do about McCallum mania, what do we do with the Good writing King,
How do we deal with this old banker mania, just like when Kaos did his new Sci-Fi thing."
"Fools, you have no perception, the stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high,
we must crush him completely, so like Bart before him, this Axolotl must die. So like Bart before him, this Axolotl, this Axolotl, this Axolotl must die!
For the sake of the Uber, this bozo must die...."
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Might I add "Universal Loathing" to the best-of list? kthxbye
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:05:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:41:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
And what is your bet?
*****
ok, let me pull a Bubba on you for a minute...
if i'm the one that says the window is open, would it not seem reasonable that i am taking bets rather than placing them?
______________________
OK, old dude, I got $10 that says I will kick Axolotl's butt, kid that he is.
I must suggest that you are an old dude, because I have a sneaking suspicion that you are slightly older than I. But not by much.....
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I predict Genko will go down in a blaze of failure. Smelly failure. He can't write, and smells bad. And he's going to lose.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 21:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:41:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
And what is your bet?
*****
ok, let me pull a Bubba on you for a minute...
if i'm the one that says the window is open, would it not seem reasonable that i am taking bets rather than placing them?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:17:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO DA FUCK CAN YA BELIEVE ANYMORE??
=======================================
Apparently very few around these parts, given all the drama currently on the front page about alters and such.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, where are you? I demand you show up so I can pwnt you.
_________
Right here, kiddie. Some of us aren't allowed Uber at work. Some kinda Karma shit.
Pwnt away, youngster...
"And so the child is once again my guest. And why is this? Was Bart Bart unimpressed?"
Where is that from?
=========================
JEBUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR!
TELL US THAT YOU'RE WHO BART SAYS YOU ARE!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:19:50 (#)
Ranking: 1
the betting window is now open
_________
And what is your bet?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the betting window is now open
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:54:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
For those who didn't notice the exchange between Coyote and myself, don't get too fond of these matchups. The numbers are right but the top winning % person should go against the bottom and so on.
I'll post a revised list tomorrow with the starting gun.
What can I say... took me to midnight to get this done.
__________
Waitaminute... Does this mean shit will change again?
Fuck shit hell puke snot damn piss crap.
WHO DA FUCK CAN YA BELIEVE ANYMORE??
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:18:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:08:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
~~~~
:(
There's no need to embarrass me, Jack. We all know you kick all sorts of ass and I've barely scooted by. Hell, there's even a move named after you, and it certainly won't help if I pull a Jack McCallum this round. Take it easy on me, please? I like cats and Canadians.
:(
--
A thousand apologies. I was being an asshole in general, not making fun of you.
Besides, I could end up against myself if this shit keeps up...
_______________
You end up against yourself in the bathroom, just like the rest of us...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:51:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just stepped out of the office for a haircut, walked right up to the barber shop... and walked on by. I ended up getting an iced coffee at Starbucks instead.
Some strange force seems to be compelling me to keep growing my hair.
Wtf, man?
I'm too old for this shit.
Gonna have to start tying it back like some hippie douchebag bike messenger if this keeps up. It just isn't right.
What's that?
UMIV?
Oh. Right.
____________
Hey!! Yeah, you, punk. Shut the fuck up and grow your hair. And knock off the fuckin' hippie jokes or I'll feed you your own ass. Sent in by bicycle messenger.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:49:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS - terminated.
All right, Bubba, prepare to be taken down.
_________
"Take me down 'cause I'm goin' to, Uberry fields..."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-10-16 20:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, where are you? I demand you show up so I can pwnt you.
_________
Right here, kiddie. Some of us aren't allowed Uber at work. Some kinda Karma shit.
Pwnt away, youngster...
"And so the child is once again my guest. And why is this? Was Bart Bart unimpressed?"
Where is that from?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MY PREDICTIONS FOR ROUND 4 COMPETITORS
Pentameter
JMG114
JoeyG
FunnyAsCancer
Ghola
DonkeyOnTheEdge
Jack_McCallum
Nerfherder
Mandapanda
Stevie_Says
Drogoroch
Hirilnara
Spam
Charminglyfbeef
Joedaddy
Orgasmatron
Awesome_Face
ParlorTrick
Kaos-King
Axolotl
Stagger_Lee
Bart
Goferforhire
Bigmike
Coyote
Genko
The_Yellow_Dart
Chroniclysm
Blitzkrieg_Bob
CaptainThorns
Sicosemen
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:18:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:08:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
~~~~
:(
There's no need to embarrass me, Jack. We all know you kick all sorts of ass and I've barely scooted by. Hell, there's even a move named after you, and it certainly won't help if I pull a Jack McCallum this round. Take it easy on me, please? I like cats and Canadians.
:(
--
A thousand apologies. I was being an asshole in general, not making fun of you.
Besides, I could end up against myself if this shit keeps up...
~~~~~
Ohhh, no. I meant don't embarrass me by pulling a Jack McCallum on my ass. You could write something HORRIBLE and you'd still win. There's no need to sweep the floor with me.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 19:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU TOO SHLONGY
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
it will be an honor to lose to BigMike.
Don't count on it. People are getting sick of my twisted ramblings.
I'LL say.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THE NURSE WILL BE RIGHT IN WITH YOUR MEDS, BIGMIKE
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
it will be an honor to lose to BigMike.
Don't count on it. People are getting sick of my twisted ramblings.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I DESERVE THE FUCKING ELECTRO AWARD AND YOU KNOW IT YOU FUCKING COCK ASS MONKEY SPUNK GOBBLING DOUCHE BAG.
THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT.
I AM PISSED.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:08:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
~~~~
:(
There's no need to embarrass me, Jack. We all know you kick all sorts of ass and I've barely scooted by. Hell, there's even a move named after you, and it certainly won't help if I pull a Jack McCallum this round. Take it easy on me, please? I like cats and Canadians.
:(
--
A thousand apologies. I was being an asshole in general, not making fun of you.
Besides, I could end up against myself if this shit keeps up...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then again, Swiss StyleAElimination beats the hell out of a French Style Elimination, which would have results like this...
WHO WROTE WHAT? WHO WON?
Presented in the following format:
Entry one author
Entry two author
Title
bartimplant FORFEIT
Spurticus FORFEIT
Who the Fuck Names a Kid Elvis These Days?
Fuck_the_Moon FORFEIT
asswaffles FORFEIT
Monkey-Man Goes Apeshit
Mr_>.< FORFEIT
Milton_P_Diddings_Jr FORFEIT
Hit the F12 Key. I Dare You
King_of_Futz FORFEIT
sandbastard FORFEIT
Satan's Testes
Jack4094850947358347893648365934857349078335740978 FORFEIT
double_amputee FORFEIT
Naked and Out for Blood
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't figure this shit out.
All I know is that I am getting some dutch door action going on.
-Dave
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually the Swiss style is pretty simple, unfortunately, so am I.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:05:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
You mean my opponent will be a woman?
A woman.
Haha.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
~~~~
:(
There's no need to embarrass me, Jack. We all know you kick all sorts of ass and I've barely scooted by. Hell, there's even a move named after you, and it certainly won't help if I pull a Jack McCallum this round. Take it easy on me, please? I like cats and Canadians.
:(
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 18:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You mean my opponent will be a woman?
A woman.
Haha.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
For fuck sake, guys. This Swiss shit is bullshit. I say again that we should boycott all things Swiss. Hot chocolate, cheese, watches, pocket knifes.
This Swiss style elimination is a crock. Figures that a country that stays 'neutral' in wars would come up with THIS kind of scoring system. They have no concept of a simple win/lose scenario.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:22:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter vs Joedaddy
JMG114 vs charminglybeef
JoeyG vs The eventual winner of the comp
FunnyAsCancer vs Hirilina
Ghola vs Drogo Roch
FonkeyonThe Edge vs Stevie_says
Jack_McCallum vs Mandapanda
Nerfherder vs Davros
--
Or so I understand
~~~
Huh? Wouldn't Davros still be in one of the lower seeds (regardless of percentage) because he was pulled from the 1-1 bracket?
*hopeful*
I'll fuss about this because I do not want to go up against Jack. Please?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:20:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
At this point, the stories are gonna shake out three ways - the 2-0 battles, which will be 2 great stories matched up, the 1-1 stories where someone is fighting for their life - expect a lot of weirdness with these, and the then the 1-1 stories where they just dont care anymore - expect a lot of goatse with these...
--------
And some poor fucker with 1-1 gets matched up against a 2-0. Wouldn't want to be that guy.
--------
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:06:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
What I'm sayin is, that Davros will fill in the spot against the last remaining 2-0 after the 2-0's are all squared off...
--------
FUCK.
-Dave
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"FonkeyOnTheEdge"
BWAHAHAHA - I wish I did that on purpose but used a H instead.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter vs Joedaddy
JMG114 vs charminglybeef
JoeyG vs The eventual winner of the comp
FunnyAsCancer vs Hirilina
Ghola vs Drogo Roch
FonkeyonThe Edge vs Stevie_says
Jack_McCallum vs Mandapanda
Nerfherder vs Davros
--
Or so I understand
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ask Jack, regarding his last review here..."Who gives a fuck?"
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter VS Joedaddy
JMG VS Charmingly beef etc.
You should be able to figure it out if you've been paying attention.
I REALLY gotta go now.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What I'm sayin is, that Davros will fill in the spot against the last remaining 2-0 after the 2-0's are all squared off...
I'm in training this week... gotta run. Hopefully someone like Coyote can field questions from here.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope,
1-1's battle 1-1's
2-2's battle 2-2's
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 17:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooh, Davros gets fucked then.
Highest winning percentage of the 1-1s, and instead of going against sicosemen there, has to battle Pentameter.
Ouchies.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For those who didn't notice the exchange between Coyote and myself, don't get too fond of these matchups. The numbers are right but the top winning % person should go against the bottom and so on.
I'll post a revised list tomorrow with the starting gun.
What can I say... took me to midnight to get this done.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe, eh?
I'm going to have to work harder this time.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 16:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, where are you? I demand you show up so I can pwnt you.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So instead of going against JoeyG, I'll be fighting Spam? (LOL PUN)
Tomorrow needs to come so I can stop being confused.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just stepped out of the office for a haircut, walked right up to the barber shop... and walked on by. I ended up getting an iced coffee at Starbucks instead.
Some strange force seems to be compelling me to keep growing my hair.
Wtf, man?
I'm too old for this shit.
Gonna have to start tying it back like some hippie douchebag bike messenger if this keeps up. It just isn't right.
What's that?
UMIV?
Oh. Right.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t for joey!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please. Obviously I've been holding onto this since high school, and I've just been waiting for an excuse to drop it somewhere.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:24:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just like the George Michael song says...
===
And people question the amount of time it takes you to write your posts. Let this be proof, right? It's like..some gloriously ridiculous stream-of-consciousness on a daily basis with you.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:50:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
Dude, let's put our troubles behind us and go into this epic battle not as enemies, but as friendly adversaries.
Whiche'er path you choose, goatse or tubgirl, I wish you the best of luck, friend.
I'm just kidding. No matter what you do it's going to suck and I'll win by default.
Can I have my title for round 4 now, too, so I can get a head start?
--------------------
Bring it, bitch. I WILL make you cry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding our Uber War,
Does it extend to fantasy football as well? Because I'm about to go on a rampage in that league too.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 15:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:48:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Coyote, shhhhhhhh ima sneak the fix into a post tomorrow.
Quiet so no one sees.
Everyone else who wants a head start... your title is "Guilty Feet Ain't Got No Rythm."
GO!
---
Just like the George Michael song says
"Guilty feet have got no rhythm,"
And darling,
Standing here, you and I,
Moonlight dancing in your eyes
As I hold you close,
Close enough for heartbeats,
Close enough to catch your breath
On my lips,
And the music plays,
Our song,
And we start dancing,
And you smile,
And I smile,
And everything above is perfect,
And everything here is perfect,
For this, our moment,
Our love, you, me,
God above,
I must really tell you
That I know about that time you fucked Joey in my toolshed last year. Yeah, that day that I was laid up in bed because of that herniated testicle I got after I tried to move the icebox because your retard of a son from your first marriage decided it'd be keen if he hid the remote control back there. Remember now? Yeah, the day he shit his pants twice. You know, I could have sworn we agreed that he'd wear diapers when he was indoors. Nevermind. I know who you been doin'. I knew it that night. It came to me in a dream, like lottery numbers or God tellin' Joseph he knocked up his wife. Remember? I woke up screaming "Did you fuck my wife? Did you fuck my wife?" because I thought I was talkin' to Joey. And you said "I AM your wife," and I still asked "Did you fuck my wife?" because I was all dreamy and still thought I was piloting Falcor in an effort to outrace The Nothing. See, Joey was The Nothing, and I was Atreyu trying to get that black void to stop fucking you dirty and bareback in your button, because you were the princess. Well, at first you were that troll wife that Carol Whatertits played opposite Billy Crystal. Man, do you remember him in Mr. Saturday Night? What an overlooked POS that was. ANYWAY...point is: I later learned I was right, because I set up a camera in my shed so I could tape myself stroking it while I worked with the circular saw. You know how randy I get when there's sawdust in the air and a nice polished piece of wood to stick in my ass. Saw it all plain as day, dearest. Saw you blow him against the counter and then ride him while he had that hammer in your ass. THAT WAS MY FAVORITE HAMMER, MADALEINE. IT WILL NEVER NOT SMELL LIKE YOUR INSIDES TO ME AGAIN. Normally I wouldn't mind (remember the Philips head screwdriver from our honeymoon??), but this is different. SO different. I mean...he walked you around the room with the handle like you were some sort of Craftsman Heavy Duty Level/2 Wheelbarrow and his cock was a big pile of mulch just waiting to be loaded up.
So now I know,
And you know I know,
And this explains why you've been such a shitty dancer all these years,
Doesn't it,
Slut?
I'm never gonna blow my stack on your guilty-ass whore toes again
'Cause dear, they got no rhythm.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
Dude, let's put our troubles behind us and go into this epic battle not as enemies, but as friendly adversaries.
Whiche'er path you choose, goatse or tubgirl, I wish you the best of luck, friend.
I'm just kidding. No matter what you do it's going to suck and I'll win by default.
Can I have my title for round 4 now, too, so I can get a head start?
--------------------
Bring it, bitch. I WILL make you cry.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coyote, shhhhhhhh ima sneak the fix into a post tomorrow.
Quiet so no one sees.
Everyone else who wants a head start... your title is "Guilty Feet Ain't Got No Rythm."
GO!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:19:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
This round simultaneously was fucking awful yet had some brilliant writing
AMEN.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
Dude, let's put our troubles behind us and go into this epic battle not as enemies, but as friendly adversaries.
Whiche'er path you choose, goatse or tubgirl, I wish you the best of luck, friend.
I'm just kidding. No matter what you do it's going to suck and I'll win by default.
Can I have my title for round 4 now, too, so I can get a head start?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This round simultaneously was fucking awful yet had some brilliant writing
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gay smiley emoticon below.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:54:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
How come now the best percentages are going up against the best, and the worst against the worst? Wasn't the whole point to match the best 2-0's against the worst, etc?
---
No kidding. I thought I'd get rewarded for blowing jaypiglet out of the water.
:)
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-16 14:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah, im against somebody i don't know again.
good luck opponent.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How come now the best percentages are going up against the best, and the worst against the worst? Wasn't the whole point to match the best 2-0's against the worst, etc?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am now madly in love with ParlorTrick.
I have always loved Orgasmatron.
And for the good of this contest, I hope Spam gets fucking spanked.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Luck to everyone in round 3.
JMG, thanks for finding my CD bro!
I think I left my S-Club Seven boxers in your mom's room, would you mind taking a look?
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm doomed.
Good luck DrogoRoch! Not that you'll need it...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At this point, the stories are gonna shake out three ways - the 2-0 battles, which will be 2 great stories matched up, the 1-1 stories where someone is fighting for their life - expect a lot of weirdness with these, and the then the 1-1 stories where they just dont care anymore - expect a lot of goatse with these...
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMNIT DOMENAD! HOW COULD YOU LOSE????!?!?!?!?!?!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
========================
How about the Female Goatse: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83714
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide if I want to post goatse or lemonparty. Since I'm up against Assh0le, I guess goatse would be appropriate.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 13:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:49:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
xxxxxxx (9:44:07 AM): WTF? my alter meets the requirements for voting and it isn't counting
xxxxxxx (9:44:17 AM) : Who's your alter?
xxxxxxx (9:45:14 AM): PokeyMen :-)
=======================================
OH NOES
THE (V) MAN HAS CONSTRUCTED AN ACCUSATORY IM LOG CLAIMING MY OWNERSHIP OF POKEYMEN, WHO IS TOO NEW TO EVEN AFFECT UBERMADNESS
MY LIFE IS RUINED! RUINED!
<end sarcastic commentary>
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS - terminated.
All right, Bubba, prepare to be taken down.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
xxxxxxx (9:44:07 AM): WTF? my alter meets the requirements for voting and it isn't counting
xxxxxxx (9:44:17 AM) : Who's your alter?
xxxxxxx (9:45:14 AM): PokeyMen :-)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:25:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
My telepathy has lead me to the conclusion that "pokeyman" is one of your alters.
------------------------
Led...lead...head!
Wrongo, anyways. :) He's too new for his votes to count in UM anyway though, so if he WAS mine, why would I bother using him? My blunt opinion is that PokeyMen reeks of jam, if you get my drift.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm all drugged up, and I want my title so that i can write nonesense!
WHERE'S MA TITLE!!
(i know, I know... tomorrow)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TRA LA LA IM SOOOO SMART
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks alot Mr. Smarty Pants
"OOOOH LOOK AT ME, I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEAD AND LED OOOOOOOOH"
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Led.
Although it rhymes with "read," "lead" does not follow the same tense pattern. It follows the "Breed/Bred" pattern.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it lead or led?
HEAD ASPLODE
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahem...LED......LED
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My telepathy has lead me to the conclusion that "pokeyman" is one of your alters.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But enough jacking around...it's time for that trash talk:
YOU'RE GOING DOWN IN ROUND THREE YOU GRIZZLY GREASY GREEK! BRING IT ON! BRING IT ALL ON!!!
I BRING ALL MY GREEK SLAVES TO THE GRAVEYARD, AND THEY ALL GO "GRAPE GRAPE GRAPE"
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:09:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Thorny, you forget who you're talking to. I have a telepathic link with every alter on ubersite. I know which ones are yours
----------------------------
Mmmhmm. Pray tell then, which ones are "mine?"
I have none and you know it...I can hardly keep track of my own posts, let alone other accounts.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it will be an honor to lose to BigMike.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not a forfeiter...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Thorny, you forget who you're talking to. I have a telepathic link with every alter on ubersite. I know which ones are yours
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 12:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:25:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Thorny, do me a favor, and don't use your alters to vote this time, mmmkay???
==================================
What alters? I don't have any.
The only one I ever had was Hot_For_Teacher, and bart refuses to reinstate that account. Can't blame him either.
But, you're welcome to heed your own advice, chipmunk cheeks! :-p
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:39:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-King VS Coley, huh???
That's awesome. She's a great writer, but has a totally different style.
Best of luck, hon!
=========
Surely you jest. I'm a crappy writer. But thank you :) You will slaughter me, surely.
=========
Best of luck, hon!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:41:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Coley couldn't write her way through a customs form, you might as well slap your keyboard with your dick a dozen times, it'll be miles beyond anything that hare brained cunt could write
======
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
true dat. WHy don't you try that and we'll see who wins?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And how did you know I bite my nails? :(
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back and forth, back and forth. The four way winners are Coyote, Stevie_says, Coley, and JoeDaddy
-------
Did you just say "four way"?
SWEET!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait...that's not what I meant about earning nearly half the votes. I meant one third, but you get the point.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I spot an inacurracy. I forfeited.
In case anyone wants to know, mine was the "creative forfeit" that earned nearly half of the votes. Not sure if I earned 30 votes because Captain's entry sucked or what.
By the way, Jared (and others), I am a conscientious person and I told CT that I was going to forfeit ahead of time so he didn't waste a whole lot of energy on his entry.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Thorny, do me a favor, and don't use your alters to vote this time, mmmkay???
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:16:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, the vagina vs. head is fake.
--
I bet a lot of people are scratching their heads and wondering if this is a reference to the ongoing Urbane/Method feud...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, the vagina vs. head is fake.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:22:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Round 1: "The Rising"
Round 2: "Rise or Fall"
Can my third round title not have the word "rise" in it? Please?
--
Hilarious! Sorry man...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Domenad VS Stagger? Fuck, I don't want to see either one lose...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because she felt the need to go spouting off personal info as well as false info in a public chat room, when no one was even talking to her or even mentioned her. She didn't even have the balls to admit it was her.
That's why.
Now stay the fuck out of it, and stop supporting her mentally deranged behavior by covering for her.
End of discussion.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then why do you get your panties in a bunch everytime her name is mentioned?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okaaaaaay....I have absolutely NO idea what's going on between you two...but I'm staying out of it.
*backs away slowly*
See ya in Round 3, MeTHod...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't give two fucks about you or her. Just don't insult my intelligence, ok?
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woaaaaaah, Method. You're starting to sound like ETS. Next thing you know she'll be added to your hitlist.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No need to give her the attention she craves so much.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Geez MeThod, what's the hate all about?
Is Urbane really posting again? First I've heard about it if so...and which account would it be?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 11:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut your face you stupid bitch, and stop doing her bidding via myspace messages, telling everyone to "throw us off" by making comments to the contrary.
She opened her fucking mouth, and with the wrong person. Keep defending her, but she fucked herself.
That psychotic bitch couldn't keep her mouth shut, now she's going to regret it
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's just my alter.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She's not posting again.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps one of her own posts, now that she's posting again!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:56:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it too late to let Urbane into this competition? Because she's just ITCHING for attention, it seems.
-------------
Oh, you never know whose post her cunt might make an appearance on!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it too late to let Urbane into this competition? Because she's just ITCHING for attention, it seems.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:53:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Method check your email
===========================
NO FAIR CONSPIRATING WITH THE OPPOSITION
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:37:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Thorny, don't kid yourself, I am going to wipe the floor with you = )
So much for good old fashioned sportsmanship, eh?
Juuuuust kidding, good luck, YOURE GONNA NEED IT
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
No, seriously, it will be close, unless you post one of your gay fucking songs.
Then I'll lose = (
===========================
"Gay fucking songs?"
Okay, I'll record some Michael Bolton, JUST FOR YOU, sweetie!
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method check your email
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uhhh.. okay. So I'll pretty much be done with this contest after this round. Congratulations in advance, Stevie.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I shaved my legs just for you, pookie
<flutters eyelashes>
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only a fag for you, Method.
And only when you wear that pretty pale yellow sun dress...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY IM JUST TRYING TO SPICE THIS COMPETITION UP WITH SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED TRASH TALKING
No more of this "i love you, opponent" bullshit!
COME ON PEOPLE
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, youth is so fickle, is it not, Shlongy?
For all your money, hair plugs, and denture cream, the one thing you can never have again is your youth.
I can't WAIT for my mid-life crisis
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coley couldn't write her way through a customs form, you might as well slap your keyboard with your dick a dozen times, it'll be miles beyond anything that hare brained cunt could write
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:37:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ripped? I'm morbidly obese
"Morbidly" is a stretch but other than that...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fag below
|
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|
|
|
V
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-King VS Coley, huh???
That's awesome. She's a great writer, but has a totally different style.
Best of luck, hon!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ripped? I'm morbidly obese
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Thorny, don't kid yourself, I am going to wipe the floor with you = )
So much for good old fashioned sportsmanship, eh?
Juuuuust kidding, good luck, YOURE GONNA NEED IT
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
No, seriously, it will be close, unless you post one of your gay fucking songs.
Then I'll lose = (
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. And no fair posting pictures of your hot greasy pecs either. You know all the voters love a ripped Greek.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:59:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-10-16 09:57:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still in this, right? I didn't forfeit!
<runs>
------------------------
No worries. You're up against CaptainThorns this round. Yar.
=============================================
Yarrrr, indeed.
MeTHod, old chum - good luck. I have a feeling that if we both actually WORK at this round, it will be a close call.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Double -2 plan for life. Just to really cement the point home.
Or you could find their alters, and nail those too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks cancer. I didn't see that.
Unfortunately, some of those assholes who forfeited are ALREADY ON my "-2 for life" list so my action plan won't have quite the impact that I was going for.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Round 1: "The Rising"
Round 2: "Rise or Fall"
Can my third round title not have the word "rise" in it? Please?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlong-man, forfeits are noted on the bottom right corner of the first chart there.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:12:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to go into a full scale temper snit if ParlorTrick posts some stupid fucking picture.
How will we know the difference between your usual sniveling bullshit and your "full scale temper snit"?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-10-16 10:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, all that effort and not one fucking Electro Award?
God dammit.
Submitted by